Not Your Ordinary Girls (Man, I Don't Feel Like a Woman)
by LadyClassical
Summary: Just after the Dark Tournament, Yusuke and his friends are plunged into an alternate reality where all four of them are female, with the demons responsible thought to be hiding in Makai. If the perps enter Ningenkai, can Yusuke hunt them down? And if they don't, will the gang be stuck like this forever? As they'll soon find out, life as a teenage girl is NEVER easy!
1. Basic Biology

Hiei awoke groggily to the sounds of birds singing all around him, and the sensation that he might be sick. Apparently, he had slept wrong, too, because his back was hurting. Just like the birds, he was currently residing in a tree, where he had decided to spend the night. Most likely, the tree branch had been cutting into his back or something.

_Actually_, he thought, as he dropped agilely to the ground, _I feel awful. What did I eat last night?_

Not really thinking about what he was doing, Hiei shook his hair out of his face, then realized something. Since when had his hair fallen into his face? He slowly got to his feet and set off for town. Most of the city was still sleeping, and the sun was still rising. Hiei stalked amongst the buildings until he finally caught his reflection in one. His mouth fell open in shock.

It looked like his body hadn't changed much, but what was wrong with his face? His _hair? _Instead of sticking up like usual, his hair was now shoulder-length, hanging in spiky black locks around his face, but without bangs. He still looked pissed off, but his features were more feminine. That was the only way to describe it. What was going on here?

Suddenly, a horrible thought struck him. Hiei skirted around the building and into a dark alley between them, trying to ignore the dull but persistent pain in his stomach. During the Dark Tournament that ended a few days ago, he had suffered much worse; they all had. But it was still annoying. It felt a little like gas, but not exactly. Before he could lose his courage, he threw off his cloak, tugged out the waistband of his pants, and...

Noticing what exactly was there, and what _wasn't _there, a growl of frustration and fury escaped Hiei's throat, one that was slightly higher-pitched than usual. There was no question that he would kill whoever (or _whatever_) did this to him. But first, he set off for Kurama's.

...

Not much was visible of Shuichi Minamino, a.k.a. Kurama, as he slept soundly on Sunday morning. Just a tangle of long, auburn hair, and one of his hands clutching a red sham pillow, embroidered with a pink rose design.

Kurama was a morning person, and he rose not long after the sun did. But when he sat up with a yawn, something seemed…different. Like he'd gained weight. In fact, when he put his hand to his chest, he realized he'd developed a blob of fat there. Two, actually.

Oh no! Kurama bolted upright in bed. What if he'd worked himself too hard at the Dark Tournament, and he'd been asleep for days, like Yusuke had after his training, and therefore had gained a ton of weight due to not exercising? But he must have been asleep for a much longer time. What had happened to his family? To his friends? To his _grades?_

Wait a minute...that couldn't be right. The calendar on Kurama's bedside table proved that this had not been hibernation. And for another, no other part of his body was fat. There was a higher proportion of fat to muscle in his body now. But he was still toned, still in good shape. Wondering what it could be this time, he hoisted himself out of bed and looked into his full-length mirror. What he saw caused him to let out a rather feminine shriek.

There in the mirror was a girl, a redheaded girl with huge, emerald-green eyes, about five-foot-six, wearing nothing but a pair of ill-fitting pajama pants and an expression of complete and utter shock. Worse than that, Kurama realized that something very important was missing. Heart beating out of his chest, he kicked off the pajama pants just to make sure. They were far too tight around the hips and thighs, but they were so long he could have tripped on them.

Yes, that was certainly a woman's body. 100%. Her face wasn't too different—maybe the shape of the jaw had softened a little—and her hair had remained exactly the same. But she wasn't Shuichi Minamino. She looked like his sister, maybe, if he'd had one. This body was completely different. Decent-sized breasts, a slim waist, wider hips. In fact, he now had a nearly perfect hourglass figure. This wasn't the first time Kurama had to get used to a new body, but which was worse? Being a human male baby, or a human female teenager, albeit quite a well-developed one?

Well, the obvious advantage to the latter situation was that this time, Kurama had retained control over his basic motor skills and bodily functions. But it was still the same bad feeling as last time. Almost sixteen years ago now, he'd looked in the mirror and been disgusted by what he saw. The King of Thieves, reduced to a revolting human child. But now…well, he certainly was not a child this time, that much was clear, he thought as he slowly ran one hand down the side of his body, the other reaching up to touch one of the breasts—

"Enjoying yourself, Kurama?"

_"Hiei!" _Kurama shrieked, as the various plants in his room snaked around to cover him, just in time. "My goodness, a little privacy, please?"

Examining him briefly, Kurama could see that his old friend, currently perched on the windowsill, had been changed too, except that (perhaps because he was small) he hadn't gotten much of a figure. His clothes still fit right, anyway. His hair and face were unmistakably a girl's, though, and he was missing the white scarf around his neck. Most importantly, he looked ready to kill.

"I'm serious," said Hiei. "It happened to you, too, huh?"

"I-I suppose so," Kurama replied, glad for an excuse to look away from the full-length mirror, but now he had to look at a female version of Hiei, which was almost as disturbing as a female version of himself.

"Any idea who did it?"

"Unfortunately, no." Kurama shook his head. "I've heard of people leaving the Dark Tournament with strange afflictions before this, though. This isn't something that normally happens, in the Makai or anywhere else—but I suppose it very well could…"

"Great! Just great!" said Hiei. "Just a gigantic amount of spectators and combatants alike, most of whom are already dead."

"Yes, it's going to be pretty hard to find whoever did this." Kurama glanced sideways at his friend. "What happened to your scarf?"

"Never mind that." Hiei glared at Kurama, then added, "Can I take a shower here?"

"Well, I was going to take one, but since I don't have school today, it can wait," Kurama replied. "Go on. Just don't use all the hot water."

Kurama watched Hiei stalk across the bedroom floor. Thinking back, he didn't think he'd ever seen Hiei this livid. The fire demon even kicked some plants out of his path, and when one of them aggressively grabbed onto his wrist in retaliation, he actually went for his sword until Kurama sent out a leafy vine to stop him.

"Hey! Give that back!" Hiei shouted, as the vine wrapped itself around the hilt of the sword and pulled it out of Hiei's grasp.

"You're not getting this back until you keep your temper, Hiei," said Kurama seriously, sprawled out on his bed, but surrounded by plants so that nobody could see anything. It was a little irritating that he had to support the front half of his body with his elbows when he lay on his stomach, to accommodate the breasts, so he lay on his back, where they just kind of flopped to either side.

_"I SAID GIVE IT BACK!" _Hiei howled, but Kurama sent out another rose vine as a warning, and Hiei stepped back.

"Hiei, you know I don't want to fight you," said Kurama. "But I also don't want you slicing someone to pieces in a fit of rage."

"I _hate_ you!" Hiei's now-feminine voice came out like a screech. He was so angry, he was shaking. "I thought you were on _my _side!"

Kurama bit his lip, feeling awful, as he watched his friend turn around and head for the window again.

"I'm leaving!" Hiei shouted. "I can do just fine without you!"

"Oh, Hiei, come on!"

Kurama grabbed a huge bathrobe out of his closet, one that had even been long on him when he was his normal self, and threw it on, trying not to trip over the hem. The plants parted to let him through, and he stopped Hiei before he could pounce from the bed onto the windowsill.

"I'm going off to kill whoever did this to me, and you can't stop me, Kurama," said Hiei, wrenching his arm free of Kurama's grasp. "If you won't give me back my sword, I'll just resort to other means of killing him."

Hiei rubbed his right arm meaningfully.

"Listen, Hiei, we _will _find whoever did this to us," said Kurama, making sure to keep his voice calm. "They will die begging us for mercy and choking on their own blood and tears. But won't it be better if we do it as a team?"

Kurama was surprised that his words worked. Hiei's muscles relaxed, and when he looked up, his eyes looked a little misty. But he put his head down again before Kurama could make sure.

"You know I like a swifter kill than that," he said quietly, smiling a little.

"Then that's why I need you as my partner-in-crime," Kurama replied. "To reign in my brutal side. Here's your sword back. I'm sorry I took it."

"Oh…thanks." Hiei took it in his hands, but set it down on the bedspread instead of sheathing it. "I guess I can keep it out here. I won't need it in the shower."

"Not unless some crazy person with a knife is waiting behind the curtain to stab you to death," joked Kurama, referencing a movie he'd seen once.

"Huh?" said Hiei.

"Never mind," said Kurama.

When Hiei was in the bathroom and the shower water was running, Kurama faced _his_ first female problem: that is, a closet full of clothes, yet nothing to wear. He knew everything would fit the same way—too small in some places, too big in others. These things on his chest would need some support. And there was no _way _he was going to wear his mother's clothes. _I can't find anything that fits_, he thought to himself. _Hiei sure is lucky_.

…

Hiei was most certainly _not _lucky. So disgusting, he thought, that there was blood all over the shower floor, and it wouldn't stop. Kurama didn't need to worry about him using up all the hot water, because at the same time he was in the shower, he was trying to clean his scarf, and he needed cold water for that. How much was this condition going to hinder him? Of course he had bled profusely before, but this time the pain he was feeling wasn't the same place the blood was coming from. That was new.

Kurama's many hair products were stacked up on the shower shelf, but Hiei couldn't reach them. As a girl, he was even shorter than he had been before, probably four-foot-seven or so. His cloak covered his ankles now. Kurama was shorter, too, but there was still a huge height difference between them.

Hiei's scarf eventually washed clean, though very wet, and he tossed it out onto the floor so it could dry, then turned the water hot, wondering if he should have apologized to Kurama. He felt like slitting the throat of anyone who looked at him funny, and he probably would have if Kurama hadn't stopped him. Then there was a knock at the door.

"Are you okay in there, Hiei?" It was Kurama, and his voice (female, now) was gentle. "You've been showering for over an hour."

Hiei weighed his options.

"Kurama?" Hiei turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, so that they could hear each other better. He reached for a nearby towel and started to dry himself off.

"What is it?"

"You know how we're girls now? In girls' bodies, I mean?"

"Yes."

"Well…" Hiei sighed, tying his headband on. "You...you aren't..._menstruating, _are you?"

Kurama gasped audibly. "Why? Are _you?"_

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Oh, my gosh."

"What are we going to do?" Hiei asked.

"I can get my mother up here," Kurama offered.

"No! Are you crazy?" Hiei snapped. "Don't you think she'll notice a difference?"

"She won't," said Kurama. "She's already been up here. Nobody else seems to have noticed we've changed."

"So you mean, everyone thinks we were _always _girls?" asked Hiei.

"Yes, which solves one problem," said Kurama. "Now will you please just get me get my mom, so we can solve another?"

"If you tell _anyone_, fox, you're roadkill."

"Look, Hiei, you don't have to be embarrassed," Kurama called through the door. "It's a perfectly normal process."

There was no time for a rebuttal, as that was when they heard Shiori, Kurama's human mother, making her way upstairs. "Is everything all right up there?"

"Hiei just got her period, and she won't come out of the bathroom," Kurama said promptly. "So no, not really."

"_Roadkill!" _Hiei screeched.

…

Kurama was no longer feeling so disturbed by his new feminine body. Sure, he might not have any clothes that fit, but Hiei had it way worse. _How on Earth will my mother react to this?_ Kurama watched her knock on the door, put her ear to it, then knock again. It felt strange, at best, to use a female pronoun with Hiei, but he had no choice, or his poor mother would get suspicious. Hiding his double life from her was hard work.

"Hiei?" Shiori called. She knew who Kurama was talking about, because they had met before. "Is this your first time?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!" came Hiei's voice from the bathroom.

"Don't yell at her, Hiei, she's just trying to help," Kurama said strictly.

"That's right, I'm here to help," said Shiori. "Just open the door, please."

There was silence, until finally the door opened. It was kind of sad to see Hiei, stepping gingerly out into the hallway, covered in his cloak, but missing his pants and shoes. The white scarf was around his neck again, but it was sopping wet.

"I-I think I messed up your bathroom a little," he muttered, looking down at his feet. Kurama swear he saw his friend's bottom lip tremble, which had never happened before, and he wanted to comfort him. But he didn't, because Hiei didn't really like to be comforted. Kurama knew that the best way to repay his mother's kindness wasn't just to protect her from his enemies, or even to save her life; those things were important, but the best thing he could ever do was spread that kindness around, and help someone the way she had helped him. But the best way to help Hiei wasn't to smother him with the love and affection he had so far missed in life; that would only scare him away.

Unfortunately, Kurama hadn't mentioned that to his mother.

"Not to worry, dear," she said, pulling Hiei in for a rib-crushing hug, which he didn't return. "This is a _happy _occasion—the beginning of all the privileges and responsibilities of womanhood."

Distinctly, Kurama heard Hiei groan.

"Shuichi, just wait in your room while I take care of her," ordered Shiori, "and if it's all right with her parents, perhaps we can have her over tonight, and I can serve her a special meal."

While his mother tended to Hiei, Kurama headed back into his room, still wearing his oversized bathrobe, which was probably designed for someone who weighed four hundred pounds but was over six feet tall. His shoes didn't fit, but his socks did, and after he put his socks on, he got to work pinning the hem of his robe up with safety pins, then tying a colorful sash around his waist. There! That didn't look so bad. Sort of a makeshift kimono. The only problem was the big breasts, which he still wasn't sure how to accommodate, and he'd have to obtain a girl's school uniform by tomorrow.

Once he had his kimono on, trying to ignore the sensation of breasts weighing heavily on his chest, he decided to do some studying. Since he was one of those freaks who did his weekend homework on Friday evenings, he had nothing school-related on Sunday morning, but there was nothing stopping him from reading more of his textbooks and making notes on the future chapters. School was something he had always liked a lot about the human world.

Kurama had already read through one chapter of his Biology textbook and was starting in on its successor when Hiei entered the room again.

"Are you all right, Hiei?" he asked a little tentatively.

"No, I am not," Hiei grouched, sitting down on the bed. "That was humiliating."

"What happened?"

"I just hated having her fussing over me like that," Hiei replied. By now, he was dressed again in his shirt and pants, with his cloak and scarf next to him on the bed. The scarf was dry, too. "This is miserable, and she thinks it's so great."

"Does it hurt?" Kurama asked curiously.

"My stomach and my back," Hiei answered. "And as if that wasn't bad enough, I have to wear this stupid thing that feels for all the world like a diaper for the next three to seven days. Your mother gave me a whole pack."

"By the way, how do you suppose the other two are dealing with this?" Kurama asked, casting around for a change of subject.

"You think they got switched, too?" said Hiei, looking up at him.

"It stands to reason," Kurama replied. "Yusuke often sleeps over at Kuwabara's house on Saturday nights while his mother is out drinking, so if we head over there, we can check."

"I don't have high hopes," Hiei said darkly, and Kurama silently agreed.


	2. Call to Spirit World

"KUWABARA!" Yusuke had been shaking his best friend, trying to get him to wake up. Now, though, when he yelled, his voice came out like a shrill, feminine scream.

"What?!"

Finally, he woke up, but it was as Yusuke had feared: the word was spoken in a girl's voice.

"I...am...a..._girl," _Yusuke hissed through clenched teeth.

"What?" Kuwabara repeated sleepily.

"I SAID WE'RE GIRLS!" Yusuke shouted. "DON'T YOU NOTICE SOMETHING'S MISSING?!"

It took a few seconds for Kuwabara to wake up and check, but then he got it.

"WE'RE GIRLS!"

"I KNOW!"

"DID YOU DO THIS?!"

"OF _COURSE _NOT, YOU BLOCKHEAD!"

"THEN WHO DID?!"

"I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M GOING TO BASH THEIR FACE IN!" Yusuke hollered at the top of his lungs.

"Shh!" Kuwabara said suddenly. "Shizuru will hear you!"

"We can't let her see us like this!" Yusuke shrieked.

"She'll probably beat me up," Kuwabara said.

Yusuke was about to ask why, but that was when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," said Yusuke, his voice a little hoarse. Apparently, nonstop yelling was a little rougher on a female's vocal chords than a male's.

"Just as I thought," said a woman's voice, soft and silky like satin, and…

Yusuke's jaw, meet floor.

"It happened to you two also," the beautiful redhead continued as she entered the room, but Yusuke couldn't stop staring. Was this some kind of dream? That couldn't be his friend and teammate. It just _couldn't_. Yusuke had always thought of Kurama as a little bit like the mom friend of the group, and a lot like the older brother he'd never had. But this girl—this _woman_—wasn't it.

The truth was just impossible. Waking up as a girl was bad enough, but realizing that your friend's female form looked like the sort of girl you see in those magazines at the drugstore was even worse. The ravishing teenage girl walking across Kuwabara's living room floor was classy and refined, hands in her pockets, gorgeous auburn hair flowing down her back, huge breasts, a concerned expression on a delicate, angelic face, lovely emerald eyes that took in the scene at a glance, wearing a bathrobe that could be so easily opened if you just untied the sash…

Augh! No! That was _Kurama! _Yusuke tried to distract himself by looking for Hiei, and found that the fire demon was standing in the doorway. But (besides the fact that he was shorter) not much about his shape seemed different. Unlike Kurama, it was his face that was different. Now he had a softer jawline, more delicate features, and spiky hair that hung to his shoulders instead of sticking straight up. However, his scowl was just as intact. There were some girls who never developed any hips or breasts to speak of and looked like boys in dresses, which is what Yusuke supposed had happened to Hiei. _Guess he got the short end of the stick_, Yusuke thought to himself, and snickered.

"Something funny, detective?" Hiei demanded, and Yusuke shook his head.

"No need to stare at me, Yusuke," added the vision in red, floating elegantly onto the nearby couch. "You look quite strange, too."

"Well, yeah, but…" Yusuke looked down at his chest and shrugged. "You'd think they'd be bigger, you know?"

"At fourteen?" said Kurama.

"Well, maybe not," Yusuke replied. "But they feel like chunks of cement. And they hurt!"

"_Mine_ don't hurt," Kurama told him, looking even more concerned.

"I agree with Yusuke!" Kuwabara spoke up. "I don't know how girls stand having these things."

"Part of the problem is that we're going braless currently," Kurama said thoughtfully.

"So what do you expect us to do, go bra shopping?" said Yusuke.

"Actually, _I _think the more important thing is that we find out how to reverse this," Hiei put in, entering the room and sitting on the couch next to Kurama.

"Our theory is that someone at the Dark Tournament cursed our Y chromosomes before he left, and they just took a few days to remove," Kurama added. "If that makes sense."

Kuwabara sat up and crossed his hands in front of his chest. "So we didn't just...wake up like this?"

"Of course not, you fool, _someone _had to be responsible," Hiei snapped.

"You know, I'm getting real tired of your negative attitude!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Well, _I'm _getting tired of your endless asininity," Hiei said acidly, his hand wandering dangerously towards the hilt of his sword.

"Why, I ought to..."

Kuwabara's blow to Hiei's face was stopped only by Kurama darting in between them.

"You'd do well _not _to anger Hiei today, Kuwabara," he said with a nervous laugh. "Let's just call Koenma and see what's going on here."

"I have my Spirit Detective case here somewhere," Yusuke said thoughtfully. Where was it, though? Leaving his friends in the living room, he went to search for it throughout the entire house. He had taken to bringing it with him wherever he went, just in case something like this came up. But overnight he'd lost track of it. And as he walked along (especially up the stairs) his new breasts kept banging into his chest, causing his every movement to be shrouded in pain. Hiei was lucky not to be given any, he thought.

Finally, he found the case upstairs in Kuwabara's bedroom, and he headed back down, wincing all the way. By the time he got there, he was pissed off again, and he wasted no time in dialing Koenma.

"HEY! PACIFIER BREATH!" he shouted. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

"Oh my goodness! Is that Yusuke?" came Jorge's voice.

"It is!" Koenma cried. "But in female form?"

"YEAH!" Yusuke hollered. "OVERNIGHT, WE ALL GOT TURNED INTO _GIRLS!"___

"Well, it could be worse," Koenma pointed out. "You could have come back with a parasite demon implanted in your brain."

"That's supposed to make us feel better?" Hiei snapped, but Kurama set one hand on his shoulder.

"You can tell the difference?" he said hopefully.

"Kurama, have you looked in a mirror lately?" said Koenma, his eyes widening. "You'd have to be blind to not notice that difference."

"No, I mean, I was wondering who else was able to realize something happened," Kurama explained. "My human mother seemed to think Hiei and I had been female all our lives."

"That's because apparitions can tell the difference, and so can spiritually aware humans," said Koenma. "But ordinary people can't. As far as your human mother is concerned, Kurama, she's had a daughter for almost sixteen years now."

"How do you know?" asked Kurama. "Has this happened before?"

"Yes, but only once," Koenma replied. "One of our few female fighters. She woke up as her male equivalent, several days after the tournament."

"So how did she turn back?"

"She didn't," Koenma said mournfully.

"WHAT?!" Hiei screeched.

"Probably because the only way to change back would be to kill the perpetrator, and he lived?" Kurama guessed.

Koenma nodded. "Unfortunately, we never caught whoever it was, and she ended up being stuck like that."

"Well, then, that's some pretty shitty management you have going on!" Yusuke yelled. "We're going to be stuck as girls for the rest of our lives unless we find some demon that could be hiding literally _anywhere?!"_

"Or demons, plural," said Kurama. "This kind of thing probably requires a few henchmen to pull off, especially if the perpetrators were lower than A class."

"Well, then, what are we waiting for?" Yusuke stood up. "Let's kill them ourselves."

"Hold on, Yusuke," said Koenma. "Our records show that there are currently no demons in the Nigenkai. And you can't access the Makai."

"So how _do_ we find whoever did this to us?" Hiei asked.

"Well, we know it was a spectator, since none of the combatants had such a power," Koenma said.

"And he's alive," Kurama added.

"Jorge and I will put all our efforts towards locating whoever is responsible for this," Koenma promised, "and in the meantime—"

"Sir, it's time for your nap now," Jorge cut in as his watch beeped.

"Good, you can tuck me in," Koenma replied, hopping down from his desk. "Hang in there, Yusuke."

The screen went dark. Kurama sighed heavily, resigned to his fate; Hiei just groaned and curled up into a miserable ball on the edge of the couch.

"So we're stuck!" Yusuke slapped his hand to his forehead. "This is so _stupid!"___

"What do we do next?" Kuwabara asked.

"I suppose we should try to find clothing that fits," Kurama told him. "We'll need girls' school uniforms for tomorrow, too, of course."

"Speak for yourself," said Yusuke. "If you think I'm going to school like this, you're insane. I can't even fight. These blobs of fat on my chest hurt whenever I move."

"I'm no expert, but I think you can help that problem with proper support," Kurama replied. "Girls are perfectly capable of fighting, Yusuke. Just look at Shizuru."

"That's it!" Kuwabara said, jumping up. "I'll bet my sister has some old catalogues in her room!"

"Ooh, good idea." Yusuke felt his mood improving.

"Do you think she'll catch me, though?"

"Nah..."

Yusuke waited with his other two friends while Kuwabara rushed up the staircase. It didn't look like he was in any pain at all. Kurama, either. Yet they were both bigger on top than he was (Kurama by a large margin, in particular). What was the deal? Not that any of his friends would know.

It wasn't long before Kuwabara arrived with the catalogue, but it was downright enigmatic. For one thing, the sizes were a mixture of numbers and letters, impossible to figure out. And then there were all these different types. Strapless, T-shirt, push-up, nude, sports, sexy, and something called the "Ahh-Bra."

"You should try this one, Kurama," said Yusuke, pointing to a black bra covered in pink, white, and red roses.

"It's black," said Kurama. "I don't want it showing through my clothing."

That was when they heard Shizuru's voice. "I'm heading to the store for cigarettes if anyone wants...woah, what _happened _to you guys?!"


	3. Reasonably Unreasonable

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hiei's views on crime dramas do NOT mirror my own. The show Yusuke watches later in this chapter is a reference to **_**Law and Order **_**and similar programs. Thank you.**

…

Hiei watched sullenly from the couch as the scene in front of him unfolded. Kurama stood up and approached Shizuru, looking beyond relieved.

"Thank goodness you're here, Shizuru," he said. "Maybe you can help us."

Shizuru's inquisitive gaze traveled over all four of them. Of course, since she was a spiritually aware human, she would be able to tell that they hadn't been girls all their lives. Hopefully she wouldn't just think four strangers had suddenly taken up residence in her living room. But the shock seemed to wear off pretty quickly.

"Wow, Kurama, you sure make one hot girl," she joked, then looked at the two on the floor. "Do you guys seriously have my bra catalogue?"

"Yeah, I felt like these would get in the way of me kicking ass," Yusuke replied.

"Hiei's the lucky one, he got off scot-free," Kuwabara said, pointing.

"Why don't you say that again, you pitiful, weak-minded fool?!" Hiei shouted, bristling. Now his head was hurting, too. There was a lot of pain and discomfort, but what really annoyed him was that he knew he was in no shape to fight.

"Hey! You better watch it," Shizuru warned, stepping towards the couch in defense of her brother, but Kurama grabbed her arm and whispered something in her ear. Hiei was pretty sure what his friend said, but he was surprised at how quickly Shizuru's expression changed, and pleased when she told everyone to leave him alone, which was what he wanted.

"Why? You get injured or something, Hiei?" Yusuke asked curiously, possibly noticing his teammate's most recent grimace of pain.

"I _said_, leave him alone, and that's not a suggestion," Shizuru repeated, in her most dangerous voice. "Now what the rest of you need is a sports bra. I can take your measurements here, and get some for you on my way to the convenience store."

"That's fine," said Kurama.

"All right, then, you can go first," Shizuru replied, and, grabbing his arm, led him upstairs to her room.

Yusuke and Kuwabara idly chatted with each other while Kurama was upstairs getting measured, and Hiei watched them mutinously from behind. Kurama was the only one whose hair hadn't changed. Yusuke's wasn't so different, just longer, and his bangs fell in his face. Kuwabara's was curly, and he didn't have any bangs, like Hiei. All three of them had hair that fell approximately to their shoulders now.

It wasn't long before Kurama and Shizuru descended the stairs again.

"So, what did you measure?" Yusuke asked.

"34-25-34, five-foot-six, bra size 34D," read Kurama off a piece of paper.

"You're next, Yusuke," said Shizuru, and the two went upstairs.

Kurama walked to the couch and leaned over the back. "Feeling any better, Hiei?"

"I feel like someone is shoving hot knives into my stomach and twisting them, while someone else kicks me repeatedly in the back, causing me to bleed so much I have to wear a diaper to keep from ruining my clothes," Hiei told him, shifting around to try to get into a more comfortable position. "Oh, and I have a headache. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, it does." Kurama stood up. "But if there's anything I can do to help..."

"There is," said Hiei. "You can shut up and leave me alone, like Shizuru said. She's the only one who realizes how horrible I feel right now. Don't you get that?"

Kurama just let out a sigh and left the room. Not long after, Hiei heard the back door slam. Great, now he'd pissed off Kurama. But Kurama didn't understand. This couldn't compare to just being wounded. And it didn't help to remind himself that he'd been in worse pain, since normally he would get treated, and then he would stop bleeding. But now, he just had to deal with it, and he certainly didn't want Yusuke and Kuwabara to think he was weaker than they were.

Yusuke soon came downstairs with Shizuru, and Kuwabara was called for his measurements. Unlike Kurama, Yusuke didn't read his out loud, and Hiei got the feeling he wasn't too pleased with them. But even worse, Yusuke was now staring at him.

"What are you looking at?" Hiei snapped.

"Uh…nothing." Yusuke seemed to remember Shizuru's words of warning, and turned on the TV to distract himself.

"Good," said Hiei, burying his head in his arms, but that hurt his headache, so he just looked at what was on TV. It was an allergy medicine commercial, for people who were allergic to pets, featuring a woman rolling around in the grass, surrounded by puppies and kittens.

"Aw! Don't you think that's adorable?" Yusuke said, turning around to face Hiei.

"I'm not Kuwabara," Hiei told him harshly. "I find it simply annoying. Domestic animals don't have to worry about a thing, because humans do it for them." Hiei paused. "What are you watching, anyway?"

"It's a crime drama," Yusuke said enthusiastically. "It's dubbed from an English-speaking country. I've seen this one before. This guy got killed, and his baby got kidnapped, and the police are trying to find out who did it."

Now Hiei was a little interested. "How did he get killed?"

"With a really heavy frying pan, which belongs to his wife, the baby's mother."

"So she did it, then?"

"Do you want me to spoil it for you?" Yusuke grinned. "You'd think, but these shows often come with a twist. Usually they introduce a new character that changes everyth—oh, look, it's back on! This is the confession part."

The police were interviewing a very seedy-looking man in an interrogation room.

"So, did Mrs. Sherman's dead husband know that the two of you were having an affair, Mr. Collins?" the policeman asked.

"No, he didn't," said Mr. Collins, who seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown.

"And were _you_ the one who kidnapped the three-month-old baby?"

"I-I didn't kidnap him." Mr. Collins was now wiping tears that streamed down his cheeks. "You see, that baby…he's _my_ son! The lovechild of our affair!"

Hiei gasped, but Yusuke said, "Duh."

"We planned it together," Mr. Collins sobbed. "Helen knew the baby wasn't John's; it was mine, and for many months she told him it was his and pretended to forget about me…but we were still in love…and then we decided we would just kill John and live together…forever! So I beat him to death with the frying pan he got Helen for her birthday, while Helen held him down!"

"Well, I don't see what's so horrible about that," Hiei commented. "That seems like a reasonable response to the situation."

"What are you, Hiei, a psychopath?" Yusuke said, turning around.

"Killing Helen's husband would get him out of the way, leaving Helen and Mr. Collins to raise the child," Hiei explained. "Simple."

"That's not simple! What about Mr. Sherman?!"

"In the Makai, the strongest man wins," Hiei said darkly. "That's all that matters. Mr. Sherman obviously wasn't very strong, if he could be killed by a mere frying pan. Mr. Collins just has to be able to fight anyone who tries to avenge Mr. Sherman, that's all."

"I imagine demon crime dramas can't be very nice," said Yusuke, turning back to watch the TV again. The scene cut to a room containing a woman, who Hiei figured must be Helen, because she was holding a very young human baby. Mr. Collins and his interrogator stepped in.

"The jig's up, Mrs. Sherman," said the cop. "Mr. Collins confessed everything."

"Bill!" Helen cried angrily, and the baby stirred. "How _could _you?!"

"I'm sorry, hon," Mr. Collins said. "But these cops will get anything out of anyone!"

"But what will become of little Henry?" Helen cried, bursting into tears. "Who will raise him? How will he remember his mother?"

Hiei blinked. "They're going to take the baby away from her?"

"Well…yeah," said Yusuke. "Babies can't go to jail."

"So why is it wrong to kill Mr. Sherman, but _not _wrong to take Mrs. Sherman's baby away?!" Hiei shouted. These human rules didn't make any sense to him at all. "Who says they can do that?"

"The _law _says they can do that."

"Who cares about the law?!" Hiei was feeling irritated beyond belief with his new feminine vocal cords, among other things, as he spoke. Of course, he was familiar with the way cases like these worked in Demon World, and he didn't really like the way they were unfolding in the human world.

"Calm down, man, it's just a show," Yusuke told him, looking blindsided.

But watching the crying mother with the small baby gave Hiei a new kind of hurt in his stomach, one that didn't come from cramps. Was it because he seemed to be feeling angry about everything today? Or was it because his mother was forced to let go of him, too, when he was even younger than that baby? It felt like someone else was in control of his emotions, which infuriated him even more. Normally he could have been able to stand something like that on TV. _Why_ not today?

"You know nothing of laws and morality," Hiei accused, pointing at Yusuke, and headed for the kitchen, where he left through the backdoor and stalked through the grass outside, going nowhere, anywhere.

That was when he bumped into something very solid; there was a yelp, a crash, and both of them ended up on the ground—

"Hiei?" Kurama said in surprise.

What was this? Hiei stood up and looked around him. Kurama had fallen onto the ground. Near his right hand, Hiei could see a broken teacup, its former contents pooling all over the grass; a few cookies; and one smashed little plate, which matched the teacup.

"You came back?" That was all Hiei could think of to say.

"I was never leaving to begin with." Kurama got to his feet and looked down at the grass, then up at Hiei's face. "Are you all right?"

"What are you talking about?" Hiei snapped.

"Well, you look kind of…riled up, that's all," Kurama said with a shrug, sticking his hands in the pockets of his robe-turned-kimono.

"If you _must _know, Yusuke is forcing me to watch some stupid 'crime drama,'" Hiei replied angrily. "For these humans you love so much, Kurama, they sure do have some idiots in charge."

The sides of Kurama's mouth twitched, like he was trying to stop himself from laughing, and if this had been almost _anyone_ else, Hiei might have attacked. But attacking Kurama, especially without provocation, was a very stupid thing to do, and at any rate, Kurama had this ludicrous idea that they were "best friends," so Hiei satisfied himself with glaring and crossing his arms.

"What's that on the ground, a tea party?" he demanded, jerking his head towards the broken china.

"It's…well, it was _supposed_ to be for you," Kurama said, a little sheepishly. "Herbal tea. I knew it would help with the pain. The cookies are from my mother."

Hiei didn't even know what he was supposed to feel, and come to think of it, he didn't know what he was feeling to begin with.

…

Kurama watched Hiei for a reaction to these words. It wasn't unfamiliar to see Hiei angry, but by looking at him, Kurama could tell that something had really upset his friend, too.

"You went all the way home just to get those for me?" Hiei asked quietly, and he didn't look angry anymore, but that anger was replaced with what seemed like sadness, not happiness. Kurama had been trying to cheer Hiei up, but what if he had just made it worse, somehow? Earlier today, Hiei had been extremely crabby (not without reason, of course), but Kurama wanted to do something nice for him. Maybe that was a mistake.

"I'm…I'm sorry," Kurama said finally. "I know you said you wanted me to shut up and leave you alone."

"That wasn't what I really wanted," Hiei admitted, staring down at the ground.

"I think you just needed someone to take your anger out on," Kurama said calmly, setting one hand on Hiei's shoulder.

"But on _you?" _Hiei's voice alone, rising continuously as he spoke, made the back of Kurama's throat feel uncomfortably sore. "I was just being a fool, a weak fool! I shouldn't let a meaningless human crime drama affect me like that. What's _wrong_ with me?!"

Watching this display, Kurama figured he could, at least in part, chalk up Hiei's behavior to the boatloads of hormones that were careening through his body at this very moment, possibly throwing his whole system out of whack. That was to be expected, and it wasn't his fault. However, it would also be unwise to bring it up. The best way to help Hiei right now was simply to accept him just the way he was.

"I don't blame you at all," Kurama said, as kindly as he could. "But whenever I feel like that, I just entertain myself with visions of how we'll punish whoever did this to us."

Hiei grinned, but it was replaced by a grimace and another grunt of pain.

"Ow!" he groaned. "I _hate _this!"

"What hurts now?"

"Legs…stomach…back…everything," Hiei muttered. "If it's not one thing, it's another. Just this twisted, unrelenting sort of ache."

"I'm sorry," Kurama said again. "I'm going to go right back home and get you more herbs."

"Kurama, I'm fine," said Hiei, but he obviously wasn't.

"Bad things happen to people who argue with me, Hiei," Kurama said. "I'll be back soon, all right?"

"Bring some cookies, fox, or don't bother coming back," Hiei warned. Kurama grinned, figuring that meant Hiei was back to his old self for a bit.


	4. Fiery Discussion

By the time Hiei entered the house again, the TV had been turned off. Shizuru's car was gone, and Kuwabara was back in the living room with Yusuke. But Hiei noticed that Yusuke and Kuwabara were staring at him in shock, the way you stare at someone who has just grown an extra head.

"What are you two looking at?" Hiei snarled.

"Well, we just wanted to ask…" Yusuke looked down at the floor, then Kuwabara, and finally Hiei. "Are you, y'know…I mean…it's not 'that time of the month' or anything, is it?"

"How did you know?!" Hiei demanded. "Did Kurama tell you?"

"Uh…no." Yusuke pointed to the couch nervously. "You just, uh…left a stain, I think."

"I left a _what?" _Hiei whirled around to face the couch, and sure enough, there was a huge red stain on the cream-colored couch. Yusuke and Kuwabara kind of shrunk away, as if bracing for impact, and their fears were not exactly unfounded.

Hiei let out a furious scream you could hear a block away, the sound coming out high-pitched and shrill due to his female vocal folds; several birds outside chirped in alarm and flew out of their nests in the trees. How _infuriating! _Not only had he ruined the couch, but he'd also ruined his clothes. Thank goodness he'd had his cloak off, but how had he soaked through that diaper-thing _and _his pants?

Yusuke and Kuwabara both looked horrified, and that was exactly why Hiei had preferred to keep this to himself. Wasn't it enough that he had to lose control over his emotions, endure awful physical pain, _and_ bleed uncontrollably? Did he have to be treated like some kind of freak, too?

"I will _not _be humiliated _any _longer!" Hiei shouted. Grabbing his cloak and scarf from the couch, he jumped up on the windowsill and left through the window, heading for the forest nearby, leaving the two humans gaping. It was just him and the trees now.

After some time, when Hiei was convinced he was far enough from town, he stopped jumping from branch to branch and landed in a particularly tall tree, making sure to disguise his energy so nobody could find him. If he lay on his back, he didn't feel himself bleeding as much, although now the back of his cloak was wet, too. His clothes were black, so nobody would be able to tell, but it was still uncomfortable. The best thing now would be to take a nap, if it weren't for the fact that he felt like someone was slicing his intestines out with a scalpel—

"Hiei? Where are you?"

Kurama! It was no surprise he went searching, but to be honest, not even Hiei knew where he was right now. So how had Kurama found him? Hiei ignored the calls and scooted farther back on the branch he was occupying.

"Do you want your tea to get cold?"

Herbal tea? That sounded so unbelievably good right now…but no. Kurama was just _trying_ to tempt him.

"You should be right here," Kurama said, standing unfortunately right underneath the tree in which Hiei currently sat.

_Not for long_, Hiei thought scornfully, but before he could jump to the next tree, he felt a particularly harsh sting in his abdomen and involuntarily cried out in pain. Then he kicked himself for giving away his position.

"Dammit!" he cursed, gripping his stomach.

"You're being ridiculous," Kurama called. "Nobody's angry or upset with you."

"I don't care."

"You have five seconds to get out of that tree or else."

"Or else what?"

At these words, a familiar thorny green vine snapped up and wrapped itself around the edge of the branch, then tugged. Hiei was sure he was going to fall, but if he did, it would have been out of shock, because the next thing he knew, Kurama was up in the tree, too, sitting next to him.

"Word to the wise, Hiei," said Kurama lightly. "Never say that to me again."

"You know, I really wish you would stop doing things like that," Hiei snapped.

"Then maybe you should stop running away for stupid reasons."

"I'm _not_ running away. I'm just so sick of everyone."

"Well, then, far be it from me to try to bring you back," said Kurama. "But I thought you were running away because you stained the couch."

"How did you find me?" Hiei mumbled.

"Yusuke's newly-repaired demon-tracker watch," Kurama replied, holding it up for Hiei to see.

"Even when I disguised my demon energy?"

"It doesn't matter, because now the watch has a fixture that can track you by your DNA instead."

"How? You didn't have any of my spit or hair or fingernails or anything."

"Well, we did have a fair amount of your blood," said Kurama.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Hiei cried, leaning his head on Kurama's shoulder. "I…I can never go anywhere ever again!"

"But _why?"_

"Look," said Hiei, swallowing. "I've been in worse pain than this, a lot worse. But I have _never _been so humiliated! Not only am I in this new body, but I can't even control the awful things it does."

"Hmm," said Kurama. "I wonder what that's like."

"You can take it easy on the sarcasm, Kurama." Hiei glared. "Yeah, I know the story. But you were a tiny baby, and a _boy _one at that. You weren't going through this."

"That's true, I wasn't," Kurama said thoughtfully. "I did have to wear an actual diaper, though, for about a year and a half straight. Since, you know, I had no control over any of my bodily functions. In fact, for my first few weeks, I couldn't even lift my head up. I couldn't talk, either, so I had to cry as I waited for my mother to figure out what was wrong with me…"

"But what about this pain?"

"No cramps for me," Kurama replied, "but I did get a stomachache at my mealtimes, more often than not, and I had to be burped. If I wasn't burped, I would throw up all over my clothes—and I had no control over that, either. In fact, given the choice, I might take teenage girl over baby boy."

"You're insane," Hiei told him. "Just wait a few weeks, and you'll take that back."

"I think we're getting off-topic here, anyway." Kurama's voice was more serious now. "The point is, if you really can't stand the sight of us, then so be it. Leave. But if you're just leaving because you're embarrassed, well…" Kurama gently slapped Hiei's hand and smiled. "You _don't_ need to do that. Being a baby was the most degrading thing I had ever been through, quite the downgrade from being an A-class demon feared and renowned throughout the Makai. But I realized long ago that Shuichi the baby wasn't really any different than any other baby. _All _babies spend their days crying, spitting up, and filling their diapers. And now, thinking back, I don't feel so bad about it anymore.

"Besides," Kurama continued with a small laugh, "like you said, in a few weeks, this will be me, and the rest of you will learn pretty quickly to stay out of _my _way."

Hiei wasn't sure if Kurama was joking or not, but either way, he was terrified at that thought. If this "girl problem" could mess _him_ up so much, one could only imagine what it would do to Kurama. If the three of them didn't play their cards right, they would be plant food within the month.

"Come on," said Kurama, hopping down from the tree. "Like I said, your tea's getting cold. I planted some seeds to show us the way back."

"I-I can't really walk that well," Hiei admitted. "Ever sat down on a rainy bench?"

"You just need a shower and a change of clothes," Kurama replied, making a _come_-_down_-_here _gesture with his hand.

"I don't have a change of clothes."

"Shizuru will be back with my school uniform soon, and you can borrow my robe kimono."

"But it's white."

"Good, that means it can be bleached," Kurama said apathetically. "Just change that thing more often. I brought some extras from my house."

…

Kurama walked Hiei back to Kuwabara's house, and he was watching his friend drink tea in the kitchen, scarfing down cookies in between, when he heard a car door slam.

"That must be Shizuru," he said, standing up.

"I'm telling you, she's going to be angry about the couch," Hiei said miserably.

Kurama didn't answer, but he left the kitchen and met Shizuru at the front door. Her arms were laden with shopping bags. Kurama took them from her and set them down gently on the floor.

"Hey, Kurama," she said in greeting. "I got underwear and school uniforms for you all, plus some bathrobes to wear to sleep. You won't have to wear that one with the pins on it."

"I appreciate it." Kurama took Shizuru off to the side. "Look, I do hope you're not going to be angry, but, well, Hiei stained your couch. I guess he was sitting in one place for too long."

"Did he notice?"

"Not at first, but Mr. Subtle pointed it out to him while I was back home making some herbal tea," Kurama replied, pointing to Yusuke. "By the time I came back, he was gone, and Yusuke said he'd lost his temper and left. So I tracked him down, and now he's in the kitchen, expecting you to be furious with him."

"Why? Accidents happen," Shizuru said, looking towards the kitchen. "Especially to first-timers."

"I can imagine," said Kurama, sticking his hands in his pockets. "But will you talk to him?"

"Of course." Shizuru nodded and walked towards the kitchen, but Kurama set one hand on her shoulder, and she turned around. "What is it?"

"Listen, Hiei's kind of…different, for lack of a better word," Kurama told her. "You can talk to him, but you have to know _how _to talk to him. If you act kind and understanding, you'll catch him off guard, and he'll simply shut you out. It's a sort of defense mechanism, I suppose."

"So what do you want me to say?"

"Well, if it were my couch, I would pretend to be angry at first, and then 'forgive' him. It would give him the response he was preparing himself for, and he'd be able to let off some steam by getting angry in return."

"Sure you aren't just trying to make me look bad?" Shizuru joked, lighting one of her new cigarettes and taking a huge drag on it.

"No, trust me on this one," Kurama said. "I won't even go in the kitchen until you're done."

"Okay, have fun eavesdropping, then," Shizuru replied.

…

Whenever Hiei had a new worry, or an old worry resurfaced, he just stuck another cookie in his mouth. Shizuru had been home for a full minute, and she hadn't come in the kitchen, possibly because they were all debating over how to get the stain out of the couch. Or maybe Kurama had just flipped the cushion and she never found out, but he probably would have mentioned it if he was going to do that. Or would he? In fact, Hiei thought, flipping the cushion was what he should have done himself, but he hadn't been thinking clearly at the time.

"Hiei!" It was Shizuru, standing in the doorway, smoking a cigarette as usual. "Why did you get a stain all over my cream-colored couch? That thing cost money, you know!"

So much for nobody being angry.

"I mean," she continued, "my couch is possibly ruined, and you're just sitting there drinking tea?"

"If you _must_ know, I've been in pain all day, and Kurama says this tea will help."

"Pain?" said Shizuru. "Give me a break. Aren't demons supposed to have a better pain tolerance than humans?"

"We _do_, and we're superior to _your_ kind in every way! But that doesn't mean we don't feel pain at all!" Hiei shouted, anger rising in him again. Before he knew it, he was on his feet. "Do you think I'm enjoying this? Do you think I wanted to ruin your stupid couch? Well, I'm not and I didn't! I _hate_ this! I…I feel all these different things and I don't know why, I'm tired, my entire body hurts, I hate everyone, and I wish you all were dead!"

With this, he attempted to bolt out of the room at a speedy pace, but it seemed he hadn't digested the tea yet, because he cramped up again, releasing both a cry of pain and a very nasty curse word.

"Hey! Come here." Hiei felt Shizuru grab his hand, and he let her lead him back to the table, where he collapsed down next to her.

"These are tears of physical pain alone, just so you know," Hiei lied, pointedly gesturing to his eyes, which were burning.

"Uh-huh," said Shizuru. "My ears almost fell off at that last one, though. Seriously, Hiei, nice mouth."

Hiei gave her a look, but didn't say anything. Neither did she, for a while. Hiei didn't know what she was thinking. But finally, she spoke.

"Is that herbal tea?" she asked. "It helps with cramps?"

"That's what Kurama told me," Hiei said quietly. "Why?"

"Could you ask him to make it for me sometime?" said Shizuru. "For some girls it never hurts, can you believe that? I should be so lucky."

"Well, I'm _not_ a girl," said Hiei. "And yesterday, I didn't have the biology of one, either."

"And that must make this all the harder," Shizuru said. "But it's hard for everyone. I've been getting my period for a long time now; you just have to remember that it's a part of life. Besides, I shouldn't have gotten angry with you about the couch. In fact…" Shizuru grinned. "When I was sixteen, I was at a boy's house, and I stained his couch, but I told him it was wine. He believed me."

"So he was too stupid to know the difference?"

"Yeah, basically."

Hiei finally felt himself smiling. "You know, you should have had a sister."

"Who knows, maybe someday I'll have a daughter," Shizuru said with a shrug. "If I ever found out she was drinking wine at age sixteen, though…"

"You would show her who's boss," Hiei finished, then paused. "Is it really that way for you, too?"

"What way? Underage drinking?"

"No, I mean…" Hiei shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "Am I supposed to feel different than my normal self? I mean, think about Kurama. I was really pissed off with him a whole bunch of times, but I also felt bad about it and thought how much I would miss him if he died, and then I got really upset by a meaningless TV show, and then I was angry again, and then I was happy…Most of the time, I don't feel like that at all. Is that normal?"

"Of course it is," she said. "For you, Hiei, the problem isn't that you're having feelings. It's that you don't know what to do with them."

"Well, what _am_ I supposed to do?"

"You just can't keep your feelings shut away, that's all." Shizuru put one hand on Hiei's shoulder. "And remember that your friends are trying their best. They want to help you, so all you have to do is let them."

"But all my life, I've never needed any help," said Hiei, putting his chin in his hands. "I can get by just fine on my own."

"Sure," said Shizuru. "But want and need are different, see? I may _want _to eat a whole box of chocolates, but that doesn't mean I _need _to. And even if you feel like you don't need friends, that doesn't mean you can't want them around. It's a nice feeling, isn't it? Being wanted?"

"I wouldn't know. For a long time, nobody wanted me." There was that sad feeling again. Hiei tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "I was cast away from home, and even when I survived, it was like I was a burden, not someone to care for. You know…shunned. Look, it's Hiei, the trash nobody wants."

"What are you talking about?" Shizuru raised her eyebrows.

"The Koorime."

"Seriously, I don't follow."

"My mother is from an all-female race, but since I was a boy baby, they stole me from my mother and tossed me over a cliff," Hiei told her. "I've…I've kind of been alone ever since."

"But there are people who care for you now," Shizuru insisted. "What about Kurama? Aren't you his best friend?"

"Well, he _says_ I'm his best friend," Hiei grumbled. "But the truth is, he's more terrifying than I will ever be. I kind of just want him on my side."

That was when Hiei heard someone snickering back in the living room, and Kurama stepped into the kitchen, his hand over his mouth.

"You were listening in!" Hiei yelped.

"Terrifying, am I?" Kurama laughed. "Is that with or without the bloodsucking plants?"

"You really need to see a doctor," Hiei snapped back, and then he heard Shizuru laughing this time.

"This is getting sillier by the minute," she said standing up. "Listen, Hiei, I forgot to tell you. I got you a bathrobe—I kind of had to guess at your sizes, but I think I did all right. Yours is black, and you can wear it while I throw your clothes in the wash."

"That way he doesn't have to borrow mine," said Kurama. "What color did you get for me?"

"Green, to bring out your eyes," she replied. "But you have to put on a bra first. Hiei, go take a shower and leave your clothes outside the bathroom."

"Okay," said Hiei, and left the two alone.

…

"I'm impressed, Shizuru," said Kurama, once Hiei was out of earshot. "That's more than I've ever gotten out of him in the better part of two years."

"I never knew he was abandoned as a baby, though." Shizuru looked a little sadly at the door Hiei had just left through. "I just never knew that at all. Did you?"

"I didn't find out about his heritage until quite recently, and that was by accident," Kurama replied, deciding not to go too much into it, because Hiei might not want him telling Shizuru about Yukina. "After that, I figured he'd been cast away in some manner, but since he never mentioned it to me, I figured he didn't want to talk about it. Not that I blame him."

"Poor Hiei, alone for so long," said Shizuru. "No wonder it seems so hard for him to open up. He's afraid of being rejected again. And since his new female hormones are in overdrive right now, everything that bothers him suddenly feels ten times worse. And trust me, they _are _in overdrive. One time, I cried for ten minutes because I burned my toast. It was ridiculous, yet it felt so real."

"It's awful," Kurama agreed. "All day, I've felt like everything I do and say around him is wrong."

"It isn't," said Shizuru. "That's what I was trying to tell him—that you're just trying to help. I think he understands. I know he said he only hangs out with you because he doesn't want you as an enemy, but I don't think that's all there is to it."

"Oh, I know that," said Kurama. "Usually I can read him like a book. But right now, I don't know what to do, because he's not acting like the Hiei I know."

"That's because he doesn't _feel_ like the Hiei you know," Shizuru replied. "So what you can do is help him get those new feelings out. If he wants to rant, just let him do it. It's kind of like when you get bitten by a rattlesnake and you have to suck all the venom out."

"I guess that's why you didn't get upset when he wished us all dead."

"It's the period talking," said Shizuru dismissively. "Remember how he said he'd miss you if you died about two minutes later?"

"See? That's what I'm talking about," said Kurama. "On a normal day, he would _never_ admit to something like that."

"Well, he'll be back to his surly old self in a few days, I promise." Shizuru smiled. "Anyway, I'm going to go throw his clothes in the wash. As for the rest of you, please put bras on."


	5. Makeovers

Yusuke turned on the TV again as soon as Kurama left to find Hiei, but neither he nor Kuwabara were actually watching it. They saw Kurama come home with Hiei, Shizuru come home with the shopping, and everyone going in and out of the living room, all without saying a word. Hiei left the kitchen finally, casting a mutinous glare in their direction, and headed upstairs. Shizuru talked with Kurama in the kitchen for a bit, then she went upstairs, too. Kurama headed into the living room.

"Okay, you two," he said. "It's time to get dressed. We need to make sure these clothes fit for school tomorrow."

"You're seriously going to school in a girl's body?!" Yusuke asked incredulously, rolling over onto his back. After waking up with breasts, he and Kuwabara had both pulled on T-shirts, but they were a little too tight in the chest area.

"Not wind, nor snow, nor rain shall get in the way of my good education," Kurama declared. "And you two have to go too."

"And we have to wear girls' uniforms?" Yusuke complained.

"Relax, Yusuke, now you don't have to look up Keiko's skirt," Kurama quipped. "You can just look up your own."

"OKAY, BUDDY, YOU AND ME, _RIGHT _NOW!" Yusuke hollered, getting up on his knees. _"OW!"_

"What?" said Kurama.

"I told you, these things _hurt_," Yusuke told him, gesturing to his chest.

"They'll probably feel much better once you're wearing a bra." Kurama picked up the shopping bags and walked towards the stairs. "Come on, we can change in Kuwabara's room."

Once they got upstairs, Kurama set the shopping bags on the bed.

"Lock the door," said Yusuke. Kurama rolled his eyes and pressed the lock on the door. Then they dug in the shopping bags for the undergarments first.

"Okay…do either of you guys know _how _to put on a bra?" asked Kuwabara.

"I imagine you just put your arms through the straps and hook it in back," Kurama told him, pulling two bras out of the bag. "Ah! These ones are mine."

"How can you tell?" asked Yusuke.

"The letters and numbers Shizuru gave us, remember?" Kurama explained. "So just find the one that matches your measurements."

"Why did we each get two?" Yusuke grabbed one of the bras that ended in the letter "A." Since he'd thrown his strip of paper out, he couldn't remember the numbers.

"Probably so we could have one to wear while the other is in the wash."

"Here they are…" Despite the fact that it was early December, Yusuke felt kind of overheated all of a sudden. "And here are, uh…here are two pairs of panties." _Ugh_.

"You could always go commando, although I wouldn't recommend it in a skirt," said Kurama.

Yusuke was about to say something back, but he forgot it, since that was when Kurama untied his sash and dropped his robe.

Perhaps it wasn't so much that he just _did _that; maybe it was the _way _he did it. So nonchalantly and casually, so matter-of-fact, as if he was wearing clothes underneath. Which he wasn't. At all. That may not have been a problem, either, were it not for the fact that a tall, shapely, disturbingly beautiful, redheaded woman was now standing stark naked in Kuwabara's bedroom. And it didn't matter that Kurama was only celebrating his sixteenth birthday this month; he could easily have passed for a college student. Crashed a frat party, maybe, if he wasn't morally against things like that.

_He couldn't have been ugly and shapeless_, Yusuke thought bitterly. _He had to be hot_.

This was probably the worst combination: there was of course the fascination, which rendered Yusuke almost unable to move, but there was also this strange feeling of inferiority, as he held the A-size bra in his hands…Hadn't Kurama said his was D? It wouldn't have been so bad if he was so flat he didn't have to wear a bra at all, like Hiei. In fact, that would have been ideal. But in this situation, he knew he did need to wear one. It was just very, very small. The worst of both worlds. Perhaps Kurama was comfortable enough with his new body that he could completely disrobe in front of other people, but Yusuke found that he couldn't, even if it was only two of his best friends.

"Look, guys, I'm just going to go change in the bathroom," said Yusuke, quickly grabbing his underwear and heading for the door.

"You can't," Kurama told him, using the mirror to hook his new bra in back, then adjusting it to make it comfortable. "Hiei's taking a shower."

"Oh…right." That wasn't something Yusuke particularly wanted to walk in on. "I guess I'll go in the closet, then."

It came out sounding a little too casual, but Yusuke didn't stay for Kurama and Kuwabara to say anything about it. He knew his best friend had a walk-in closet, so there would be enough room to change in there. The problem was, once he got his pajamas off and the new underwear on, he couldn't hook the bra in back. It wasn't possible to see down his own back, of course, and there was no mirror, so he was pretty much lost.

Then there was knocking on the closet door. Kurama. "Are you all right in there?"

Yusuke decided to be honest. "I-I can't clasp this thing."

"May I come in?"

"Yeah…sure."

When Kurama came in, he was wearing an emerald-green bathrobe that matched his eyes exactly. Yusuke noticed how he'd still adorned it with his purple sash, despite the robe coming with a belt. It fit a lot better than the white one, too. At least he didn't have to hold up the bottom of it with pins.

"There you are," he said, hooking the bra quickly. "Too tight?"

"Too loose," Yusuke told him, mortified. "Do you think I need a smaller size?"

"No, I can tighten it." Kurama worked with the clasp a little more. "There, how's that?"

"Better." Yusuke picked up his pajamas from the floor with a sigh. "It's too bad we have to wear these things, isn't it?"

"Actually, I feel a lot more comfortable," Kurama replied. "It's amazing what a difference it makes, having the proper support."

"The proper what?"

"Support. You know, to keep them from bouncing around."

"I-I guess so," said Yusuke, but he couldn't say he had really had that particular problem. There was still the fact that they were kind of tender, but they weren't really big enough to bounce around.

"Here, I brought your new bathrobe," said Kurama, handing it to him. "Shizuru said she thought the red would go well with your black hair. It's polyester."

What it was, in case Kurama didn't know, was the most comfortable thing Yusuke had ever slipped on. At home, he didn't have a robe, and the ones they had at the hotel at the Dark Tournament were these scratchy things that felt like cardboard. But this was like being wrapped in a warm, fluffy towel.

"You know, between me and you," said Kurama, "I wish these were a bit smaller."

"You do?" said Yusuke in surprise.

"Absolutely." Kurama nodded and stuck his hands in the pockets of his bathrobe. "The grass is always greener, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can tell you aren't very happy with your measurements," Kurama replied. "That's why you didn't want to change in the room. Right?"

"Very perceptive," Yusuke grumbled.

"Thank you," said Kurama. "Am I correct in assuming you just felt a little undersized?"

"Well…more like behind." Yusuke shrugged. "It wouldn't bother me if we all wore the same size."

"And what becomes of that, comparing yourself to others?"

"I guess I just hoped that if I'm really not able to fit into my old clothes like Hiei can, at least I could look more grown-up. I hate being caught in-between."

"Every adult you see was once an in-between, though," Kurama pointed out.

"It's still a stupid place to be." Yusuke made a sort of vague notion towards Kurama with his hand. "What about you? _You're _not an in-between. You look like an adult."

"But I'm fifteen months older than you are," Kurama reminded him. "That's over a year, and a lot can happen in a year. You don't need to worry about these kinds of things so much, because they straighten themselves out. Trust me; I've been through puberty twice."

"How is _that_ possible?"

"Once as Youko, and again as Shuichi."

"Well, that's messed up."

"Just imagine Youko as an in-between," said Kurama with a grin. "I think that's why this is a little easier on me than everyone else. I had a much worse transformation sixteen years ago."

"Still…I was just getting used to it as a boy, and now I have to do it again as a girl," Yusuke told him. "It's really stupid."

"That's one way to put it," said Kurama. "But on the bright side, you don't have to wear a bra when you're just lazing around at home. It would be uncomfortable for me if I didn't wear one, but you should be just fine.

"Now come on," he added, pulling Yusuke's hand. "We have to make sure your uniform fits."

When they went back to Kuwabara's room, he was dressed in the girls' purplish-blue school uniform, but he was having trouble tying the yellow sash in front.

"Let me help you with that," said Kurama, tying it up as Yusuke took off his robe and got dressed in the same uniform. (Kurama had to help Yusuke tie his, too.) That was when they heard an impatient knock on the door.

"The door's locked," said Hiei, jiggling the doorknob.

"Oh yes, sorry about that." Kurama unlocked the door and Hiei walked in, wearing a bathrobe like Yusuke's, only in black. It was big on his female counterpart, about the size of his cloak. His cheeks were pink from the shower, and the neck of his robe was soaked by his hair. That was what had changed the most about Hiei's appearance: the fact that his hair grew down now instead of up. He was clutching the robe shut with both hands, despite having tied it with the belt, and he seemed more tired than usual. As soon as he got in the room, he sat down on the bed.

"Hey, gross! Don't sit there!" Kuwabara yelped. "That's my _bed!" _

Hiei's cheeks went from pink to about the same shade as Kurama's hair, and he sprung up like something had bitten him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kuwabara," Kurama scolded. "Hiei just took a shower, and I guarantee he's cleaner than you and Yusuke are."

"But what about—" Yusuke began, but Kurama shot him such a terrifying scowl that he shut up immediately. You knew you were in trouble when Kurama bared his teeth like that.

"Sit down, Hiei, please," Kurama said, and Hiei slowly sunk onto the comforter again. Although Hiei's fists clenched the bedcovers, Kurama kept one hand on his friend's shoulder. Yusuke knew it would be best to leave Hiei alone now, because Kurama protected his friends and family the way a mother fox protected her cubs; he was gentle to them, but deadly to anyone who hurt them. After a long silence, when Hiei finally looked up, he was smirking.

"Now, Kurama, perhaps I don't have it so bad," he said smugly. "I don't have to wear such a ridiculous uniform, yet I can disguise myself as a human if I want. _And_ I don't have to wear a bra."

"But don't change into your Jaganshi form," Kurama joked. "Save that for Halloween."

"What the hell is that?"

"Never mind…"

"So do you have a uniform too, or are you going to school in a bathrobe?" Hiei asked Kurama.

"Oh, no, I have one." Kurama opened another shopping bag and pulled out a white tank top, a red jacket and matching skirt, black knee-high socks, and brown shoes (they had been measured for shoes, too). "The skirt's a little short, though, and the red color clashes horribly with my hair. The pink is light enough that the contrast looks good."

"Maybe you should be the one wearing green, not Yusuke," said Hiei.

"Looking at myself in that robe, I'm surprised I don't wear green more often, actually," Kurama agreed. Again he dropped the robe, but at least this time he was wearing something underneath; he slipped the tank top on over the bra, and Hiei handed him the skirt, which he put on easily. It was indeed shorter than Yusuke's; the latter fell all the way to the mid-calf, while the former ended slightly above the knees.

"So you all are going to the mall tomorrow to buy clothes that are less girly?" Hiei asked.

"Yes, we are," Kurama replied, buttoning his jacket so that the school uniform was entirely on. "Don't you want to come? I know you don't need new clothes, but we would still like to have you there."

"Well, I don't want to go," Hiei said bluntly. "I don't feel that good, and I doubt I'll be much better by tomorrow."

…

Kurama couldn't believe how Yusuke and Kuwabara had almost set Hiei off again, when it had been such hard work to calm him down. Things were a lot more tense between the three of them now, and Kurama wasn't quite sure how to stop it. But that was when he caught a glimpse of Yusuke winding a lock of stringy, greasy, dark hair around and around one finger, and that gave him an idea for a sort of "icebreaker."

"I know what will cheer you all up," Kurama declared. "Haircuts!"

"How will that help us?" Yusuke asked skeptically.

"I'm sure you want your hair to go back to its original length and style, right?" asked Kurama.

"That _would_ make me feel less girly," said Kuwabara, looking interested.

"First we have to make sure your hair is washed, though," Kurama said matter-of-factly. "Hiei, did you wash your hair when you were in the shower?"

Hiei nodded. "Shampoo _and _conditioner."

"Great! Then you can wait here while I do the others." Kurama smiled. "Come on, you two."

Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara all changed into their bathrobes, and Kurama led the other two to the bathroom. As it turned out, Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't mind getting their hair washed in the sink, because it was kind of like a scalp massage. Kurama was glad he knew as much as he did about hair, because otherwise they would all be lost. At least this was something for which they didn't need Shizuru's help. Once their hair had been washed and towel-dried so they wouldn't drip on the floor, Kurama brought them back.

"All right," Kurama said innocently. "Are you ready to get your hair cut?"

"Yes!" all three chorused.

Kurama reached into his hair, pulled out a rose, and transformed it into his signature weapon.

"ROSE WHIP!" he shouted, brandishing it at his three friends; Yusuke and Kuwabara scattered and ducked for cover, letting out high-pitched shrieks of shock, though Hiei stayed where he was.

"KURAMA!" Yusuke shouted. "WE WANTED OUR _HAIR _CUT OFF, NOT OUR _HEADS!"_

But then they saw that Kurama was laughing, the whip hanging limp in his hand. Hiei, quite unlike his usual self, was almost hysterical.

"For the Spirit Detective and his best friend, you two sure are gullible," Kurama told them, putting the Rose Whip away and pulling a pair of scissors out of his bathrobe pocket. "Did you _actually_ think I was planning on Rose-Whipping your hair off?"

"We never know _what _you're going to do, to be honest," said Yusuke; he and Kuwabara were still looking quite rattled.

"I'm sorry," said Kurama, but as soon as he and Hiei glanced at each other, they burst out laughing again.

"I ought to get you for this one, shrimp," Kuwabara said, glaring at Hiei. "I'll bet you were in on it from the start."

"Idiot. How dare you accuse me of that."

"Well, you laughed!"

"Yes, because it was _hilarious_." Hiei crossed his arms in front of him. "Can't you take a joke?"

"Whatever, guys, let's just get on with the haircuts," Yusuke grumbled, cutting off another fight. "This is like wearing a knit winter hat."

"Yes! Sit down on the bed, everyone, and get ready for your haircuts," Kurama told them. He decided to start with Yusuke, mainly because he didn't want to hear any complaining.

"Are you sure you want it in your old style?" Kurama asked. "You'll look kind of strange if it looks too masculine, and you look so good in bangs."

"Get real," said Yusuke.

"I think you'd look good in a style like Keiko's," Kurama insisted. "Your female counterpart has a very similar face shape and hair texture. It could definitely work."

"Okay, you know best," Yusuke said finally. "Don't make it exactly like hers, though. I don't want her to think I'm copying her."

Kuwabara went to the linen closet to get an old beach towel, which they spread on the bed so no hair would get on the covers; Hiei went to fetch a hand mirror, a comb, and a blow dryer; Kurama started with the cut.

"Hmm…Keiko doesn't have layers," Kurama mused, as he went to work on Yusuke's horrible split ends. It was lucky his hair was still wet, because that made them easier to see. "You want layers?"

"What's that?"

"It's where your hair is cut shorter in some places than others."

"Hmm…that wouldn't look so good, I don't think," said Yusuke. Kurama could tell by his facial expression that he was imagining a choppy sort of style, with hair sticking out at odd angles.

"I don't mean at _random_," Kurama told him impatiently. "In strategic places, to give the illusion of extra length and volume. I'll give you bangs and layers, with the cut falling slightly above the shoulder."

"Well, fine, but if it looks bad, I blame you," said Yusuke, and Kurama got to cutting his hair.

"For the past two years, I've been cutting my own hair, you know," Kurama answered. "My mom used to cut it every month or so, but when she got sick, I started doing it myself to give her a break. After some experimenting, trial-and-error, plenty of research, and a large amount of hair growth in a surprisingly short amount of time, I came up with this unique style. Losing my hair now would be like losing a limb."

Yusuke tried to wait patiently for his haircut, but he started squirming after about two minutes.

"Stop moving your head," Kurama ordered.

Yusuke groaned, but finally the cut was done. Hiei handed him the hand mirror.

"Wow!" said Yusuke in surprise. "This…this actually looks pretty good!"

"Thank you very much," said Kurama proudly. "Who's next?"

"I'll go!" Kuwabara volunteered, raising one hand and tugging at his messy, curly locks with the other. "This is a rat's nest."

"Yes, it is," Kurama agreed. "But we'll fix that. Do you want to keep the curls, or do you want me to introduce you to my good friend the flat iron?"

"You flat-iron your hair?" said Yusuke.

"I use a flat-iron for the sides, but a blow dryer and round brush for my bangs," Kurama explained. "I like to fluff up the back a little, too."

Kurama could tell his friends had no idea what he was talking about, and again, he was thankful that he could rescue their female counterparts' hair. His rather extensive haircutting and styling skills were entirely self-taught, and he was quite proud of them.

"You were at the starting gate this morning, weren't you?" said Kuwabara. "Look, I just want something I don't have to style every day."

"Ah! Say hello to the graduated bob," Kurama replied. Kuwabara was better at sitting still than Yusuke, but only by an astronomically small amount. Kurama wasn't about to keep him still by force, which was what Shizuru probably would have done, but the cut didn't take as long as Yusuke's, and as soon as he was done, he took a look in the hand mirror.

"Wow," said Kuwabara. "Are you sure you aren't going into the beauty business, Kurama?"

"Well, I don't know," Kurama replied, and he brought his scissors and comb over to Hiei. "All right, Hiei, what sort of haircut would you like?"

"Can't you just make it look the same way it did before?" Hiei asked.

"The problem here is that in this form, your hair grows down instead of up, and you can't really change the way your hair grows out of your head. However…" It was pretty awful to see how disappointed Hiei seemed to be, but he looked up hopefully at the last word. "If I were to cut it short enough, it wouldn't be facing up _or _down. What you need, Hiei, is a short feather cut."

"If I cared, I would ask what that is," said Hiei.

Kurama grinned. "Are you willing to wait and see, or will you try to kill me if you don't like it?"

"I'll try to restrain myself."

"Good, then I'm spared the effort of defeating you."

"Take that back, you freak," Hiei retorted, and they both laughed.

"All right, then," said Kurama. "Let's get this over with."

…

Unlike the other three, Hiei had never had a formal "haircut." Usually he just sliced off the ends of it with his sword if it got too long. It normally grew upwards, as Kurama had observed, so only his bangs tended to get into his face, and his white headband tended to take care of that somewhat, anyway. Kurama removed it to start the haircut; Hiei tried not to move his head, instead focusing on everyone else.

Yusuke and Kuwabara looked immensely better, in his opinion. Their bathrobes fit right, and their hair was actually amazing. Well, that made sense, because it was Kurama's skills that were amazing. Not counting himself, Kurama was the only person Hiei would trust to cut his hair. Usually he wouldn't let someone near him with a pair of scissors. Sitting still wasn't hard for Hiei, but (despite what Kurama said) he was still afraid to sit in one place for too long, so he kneeled instead, sitting on his heels, watching the spiky ebony locks fall all around him. Kurama's smell was soothing, too, the scent of roses that always surrounded him, unlike Yusuke and Kuwabara, who often just smelled like sweat and grease.

When all the cutting was over and Kurama had blow-dried the remainder of wet in his hair, fluffing it up with the comb, he handed Hiei the hand mirror.

"Well? What do you think?" Kurama asked.

"Very nice," Hiei told him. No longer did his hair hang in his face, and the bangs were swept to one side, keeping those out of his eyes, too. Hiei tied his headband back on and realized he was starving. "What do you all say to getting something to eat?"

"It's going on one in the afternoon," said Kurama, looking at his watch. "I'd say that's perfect. Are your clothes out of the wash yet?"

Hiei had forgotten, actually. "Hmm…they might be."

"I'm sure they are," Kurama told him casually. "All right then, everyone get ready to go, and we'll rendezvous at the front door in thirty minutes."

Despite the fact that he was hungry, Hiei could feel a sense of nervousness as well; this was the first time they would go out into the world since experiencing this switch. Still, the Ningenkai tended to have plenty of places to find delicious edibles, and he was willing to give it a chance.


	6. Struggle

The squad went to a fast-food restaurant for lunch, and nobody gave them weird looks. It must have been true that to the regular human world, they had been girls all their lives. They did get complimented on their haircuts, though. And being out in public was good practice for them to start using female pronouns when referring to themselves or each other.

After lunch they went their separate ways. Kurama went back to his house to do some studying, Yusuke and Kuwabara went back to Kuwabara's house to play video games, and Hiei (after reassuring Kurama that he'd be back) headed for the woods.

When he was relaxing on a tree branch, he wondered if he should take Shiori up on her offer to stay for dinner. She had said, after all, that she would make anything he wanted, because his condition was a big event for her. But maybe that was what all mothers were supposed to be like.

Hiei turned to the side, surveying the forest beyond him. It had been completely embarrassing when she hugged him this morning after Kurama had spilled the beans, but it was confusing, too. Shiori fed Hiei, and hugged him, and took care of him. But why was that, if he had never been particularly nicer to her than to anyone else? Maybe someday Hiei would ask Kurama this question. Humans were strange creatures, and Hiei didn't understand the way they thought. Maybe he never would.

That ridiculous crime drama of Yusuke's entered his head once again. In the Makai, nobody would have cared if the wife's lover killed her husband so they could be together. If the man was so weak he could be killed by a frying pan, did he really even deserve to live, much less be the father of a child? _Henry_, that had been the baby's name. Henry, who would never know his mother. Just like Hiei had never known his.

"_All my life, I've never needed any help," said Hiei, putting his chin in his hands. "I can get by just fine on my own."_

"_Sure," said Shizuru. "But want and need are different, see? I may want to eat a whole box of chocolates, but that doesn't mean I need to. And even if you feel like you don't need friends, that doesn't mean you can't want them around. It's a nice feeling, isn't it? Being wanted?"_

"_I wouldn't know. For a long time, nobody wanted me." There was that sad feeling again. Hiei tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "I was cast away from home, and even when I survived, it was like I was a burden, not someone to care for. You know…shunned. Look, it's Hiei, the trash nobody wants."_

Hiei felt his eyes burning and turned onto his back again. Clearly, he was losing his mind. It was awful to feel that somebody else (who?) was in control of his emotions. This new self was someone he didn't like, and he wished Kurama would find him and take him home. Maybe he'd remember the dinner invitation, and try to make sure they were still on. Or maybe he'd get concerned. But if he didn't arrive, did that mean he didn't want Hiei over for dinner, and that he wasn't concerned? Or did it just mean that he took Hiei's word that he'd be back when he felt like it?

The sun had set, and Hiei had been sitting in the dark for a few hours. Since it was colder out, this must mean that dinnertime was approaching. Hiei dropped to the ground easily and headed for Kurama's house. Instead of going in through the window, he knocked on the front door.

"Good evening, Hiei," said Shiori, after she opened the door. "I'm glad you decided to have dinner with us. I fixed lots of food for you and Shuichi, but was there anything you wanted in particular?"

Hiei just shrugged. In truth, he didn't know what he wanted, but that must have been when Shiori saw his face, because her tone changed, and, startling him, she drew him into a hug.

"Nothing's wrong," mumbled Hiei. And he wasn't lying; nothing _was _wrong, which was why he couldn't understand what he was so upset about.

"Trust me, there are plenty of women who understand what you're going through right now," she whispered into his hair, "including me. Don't worry. I'm here."

Hiei didn't want to shed any tears, but the warmth coming from her embrace overwhelmed him. As a rule, he didn't like being touched, and the people who knew him best had learned not to try to hug him (if they ever did to begin with). But somehow, this felt different. It felt like Shiori was taking all his bad feelings out of him and carrying them herself. It was…it was _comforting_. For once, Hiei didn't stiffen, and instead he hugged back.

Luckily, dinner was ready soon, and Hiei had something to take his mind off all of this.

"It's so nice to have you over, Hiei," Shiori told him, as they began to eat their meal. "I always like meeting Shuichi's friends, and we've all known each other for a few years, now, haven't we? Ever since you two were in junior high."

"Each year is better than the last," Kurama said serenely. "I only wish we could go to the same school."

_Yeah, well, not me, _Hiei thought, since he didn't want to go to a human school at all, but he nodded in agreement. Don't arouse suspicion, Kurama always said, and Hiei knew it hurt him to hide so much from his mother, who was his favorite human. But then, that was simply another reason not to get close to someone. Too often, Shiori was in danger because of her connection with Kurama, and that was exactly why Hiei tried to keep his distance from Yukina.

Hiei said he really just wanted something chocolate, so after a big meal of rice cakes, sushi, _miso _soup, and _yakitori _meat on sticks, he got to enjoy two helpings of _Nama _chocolates, which (like most foods) were most delicious when homemade. His female counterpart had a huge appetite, apparently. Who knew?

"I'll eat the rest of these in the morning, Mrs. Minamino," Hiei declared, pointing to the few chocolates he'd left on his plate.

"One would think you haven't had a proper meal in weeks," Kurama said jokingly.

"Well, I sort of haven't," Hiei told him. With his lifestyle, his meals were usually whatever he caught and killed. They weren't always very substantial, and they certainly weren't always delicious. This was quite a feast in comparison.

"Remember, girls, lights out at ten-thirty," Shiori reminded them. It was still weird to be referred to as a girl, but Hiei and Kurama acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, and headed up to Kurama's room. Hiei liked his sleeping arrangements at Kurama's, too. Usually, he got to sleep on a literal bed of roses, which not only smelled nice, but was much more comfortable than the usual tree or grassy mound of earth. Kurama also gave him a pillow and a heated blanket, which was better than using his scarf for a pillow and his cloak for a blanket. Come eleven, he was drifting off into sleep, when he heard Kurama whisper his name.

"Hiei?"

"What?"

"Have you ever had the feeling," Kurama asked, "where your head tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another? And you walk away, not really knowing if you did what was right?"

"Honestly? No," Hiei replied.

"Well, I have." Kurama's heavy sigh sounded more feminine than usual, of course, but it was still there. "Do you remember a girl named Maya?"

"Possibly." Hiei shrugged. "Many people come into my life, but they never stay."

"That doesn't make you feel sad?"

"Not at all," said Hiei stubbornly. "Besides, what are you thinking about Maya for? That was ages ago."

"I've actually been thinking about what the Dark Tournament would've been like." Kurama's voice really did sound sad. "Sometimes I wish she had been there in the stands, cheering me on; that I had continued the relationship. I'd have had something like what Yusuke has with Keiko."

"So what?"

"So I see everything Keiko goes through due to her being so close to Yusuke, and I remember what almost happened to Maya, just because she was close with me…" Kurama sighed again. "I could never go through with it."

"Then don't," Hiei snapped. "What did you put in that tea, anyway?"

"Why? Upset stomach?"

"No! The herbal tea is really helping, actually," said Hiei. "I was just wondering what brought this on, that's all."

"It's just…I guess it's being in a new body again that reminds me of all this," Kurama said pensively. "The difference now is that I'm still human, and still able to take care of myself, but sixteen years ago, I didn't think living in the human world would _change _me so much. I thought I would run away, but when the time came, I couldn't."

"I'm never going to understand it," Hiei told him, shuddering at the thought. "Honestly, I'd rather die and face punishment than become a helpless human child. Yet you _chose _to stay."

"I always thought the most important thing was to be the strongest, the most powerful, the richest, the most accomplished." Kurama's voice was shaky. "But then someone showed me _love_. And now I realize...maybe that was all I ever really wanted."

"Oh, good grief, Kurama!" Hiei yelled, bolting up in bed. "Don't _say _such things! Youko was a merciless thief who loved nothing but his treasures and his plants, admit it."

"You never have feelings like this?"

"I currently have a feeling of profound disgust, if that counts," said Hiei. "And by the way, I wanted to ask you something."

"Um...sure."

"Well, your mother is certainly nice to me, isn't she?"

"And?"

"I just want to know why," Hiei explained. "I mean...she likes to take care of me, and she gave me a hug just because she thought I was sad."

Hiei could see Kurama's vivid green eyes glowing in the darkness. It was impossible to read them.

"She gave you a hug because she knew you _needed _one, Hiei," Kurama said finally.

"You know I don't like being touched," Hiei protested, choosing not to tell Kurama that it was probably the first hug he had ever genuinely enjoyed.

"Listen, Hiei, can't you see?" said Kurama. "She's like that because she loves you. That's all."

Hiei was a bit shocked at hearing this, but he recovered quickly.

"No, I don't think so," he said. "For all I know, she's just trying to change me...make me act more like you."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"It's a mistake to get too close to others."

"In other words, the only way to protect your heart from being broken is to pretend you don't have one."

"My heart is made of surgical steel."

"Look, I'm done talking about this." Kurama turned and faced the wall. "If you can't accept the fact that someone just might love you unconditionally, that's not my problem."

"Sorry," said Hiei. Arguing with Kurama wasn't something he wanted to do. "But...well, you heard what I told Shizuru about my mother and the ice maidens."

"Well, I know it's not the same thing," said Kurama, turning around again so that he was facing Hiei, "but I'm sure my mom thinks of herself as a mother to you, too."

They didn't say anything more. Kurama fell asleep quickly, leaving Hiei alone with his very confused thoughts.

…

Monday morning, by the time Kurama awoke, Hiei's bed was already empty, but that was only to be expected. Hiei always left early when he spent the night. That was simply his nature; he didn't like to stay in one place for very long.

Once Kurama was done combing his hair, he dropped his new emerald-green robe (it was a shame he couldn't keep it once he turned back, or _if _he turned back), and started to get dressed in the girls' school uniform. Having to wear female undergarments was the most awkward part. It wasn't a good feeling, to look in the mirror and not see the person you felt like you were inside. And what Yusuke said was correct: this was a _woman's _body, not a girl's. It would be impossible for Kurama to disguise himself as a man, if the need arose.

And what was with this uniform skirt, anyway? It was much shorter than the one Keiko wore to Yusuke's school. Surely, a man could stick his hand up there if he wanted. Who designed these things? Not only that, but there were no pockets, which he supposed was why girls and women had purses. Anything he needed could be carried in his book bag, he decided. Perhaps he would wear his school's female uniform, but he drew the line at carrying a purse.

After styling his hair and packing his book bag, Kurama walked downstairs. When his mother kissed him goodbye, she asked him if he would go to the junior high after school and walk home with his future stepbrother, Kokoda.

"Why?" Kurama asked. "I mean, I don't mind, but he usually walks himself, doesn't he?"

"Yes, but it was at his own request," Shiori explained. "It may be that he was afraid of crimes happening on the way home, but I think he just wants to spend more time with you. Will you do it?"

"Of course." Kurama liked the boy and didn't mind spending time with him, and even if he did, he couldn't stand the thought of Kokoda waiting after school and nobody showing. It was nice to have someone younger to look after. When Kurama was with Kokoda, he was always on his best behavior. It was important to set a good example, because these were Kokoda's formative years, the years that would determine the sort of man he grew up to be.

After a delicious breakfast, Kurama left his mother back home and started out. As he entered the main street, he was annoyed (and a little taken aback) by the catcalls and between-the-teeth whistling that followed him. He knew how it looked—a pretty redhead in a schoolgirl's uniform, walking without a chaperone. But at least none of them were trying to grab him. He just gritted his teeth and walked on, trying to ignore them. It wasn't long before the high school was within sight.

Kurama had never been late to class before, and he didn't plan to start today. But with shorter arms and legs, big breasts, a short skirt, and a higher percentage of body fat, it wasn't as easy to maneuver as it had been before. However, he was still in good shape, and could generally get to where he was going on time. He was looking forward to his Biology class today, even though they were having a test. He shifted his book bag from one shoulder to the other; it was extremely heavy, as usual.

That was when he felt something horribly familiar. Hands around his neck.

_"Karasu!"_ The word came out like a high-pitched shriek, and reflexively, Kurama knocked him away as horrible images and thoughts came swimming to the front of his mind. There was the sound of a male groaning in pain, someone grabbed Kurama's arm, and he opened his eyes.

The girl holding onto his arm let go, looking at him with confused eyes. "Who's Karasu?"

As things pieced together in Kurama's mind, he realized that of course Karasu wasn't there. He had killed that creep. Instead, he saw Tadayo, the school's most notorious rulebreaker—the kind of person Yusuke could have become, if he had really gone wrong—collapsed onto the ground, groaning in pain, having been flung violently into the heavy brick wall of the school only feet away.

"Shuichi, what's wrong?" asked the girl. Kurama recognized her as Aratani Fujisaki, a fellow Biology enthusiast. She wasn't very well-known about the school, as she was a bit of a wallflower, but Kurama liked her. She was smart and interesting to talk to, but most of all, she was one of the kindest girls he had ever met.

"Nothing," Kurama muttered.

"Shall I take you to the nurse?" Aratani's eyes were large with fear. "You're shaking."

"I'm really okay," he said, trying to smile. "Thanks, though."

But it was too late. Other students were staring. Kurama realized they had never actually seen him do anything physical before; unlike Yusuke and Kuwabara, he saved that sort of thing for the bad guys. Yet not only had he overpowered this punk, he'd almost knocked him unconscious as well—something nobody else in the school, or in any rival school in the area, had so far been able to do.

"Stay with me, Shuichi," Aratani warned. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Aratani, what—?"

"We girls have to stick together," she said, which didn't really clear anything up. That was when Kurama heard male voices behind him.

"What happened to Tadayo?"

"Is he hurt?"

"Whoever did this, we'll get him!"

It was undoubtedly Tadayo's gang, the five violent boys who followed him wherever he went and did whatever he said. All of them were at least eighteen years old, although a few had been held back. Kurama saw Tadayo point a shaking finger directly at him.

"Shuichi?" one of them laughed. "It couldn't have been her. She's a good girl."

Tadayo just pointed again, though, and Kurama could feel the whole gang quickly closing in on him.

"So it _was _you, huh, princess?" the largest boy asked, his eyes landing on Kurama's chest and wandering up to finally meet his eyes. Kurama glared right back. "I never knew you could be so...so _feisty." _

"Yeah, I guess she is," said one of the others. "I have to admit, it's kind of turning me on."

Aratani was trembling with a death grip on Kurama's arm. He knew perfectly well that she had no chance of fighting this gang off. She wasn't very good at athletic things; during the girls' gym class, Kurama had heard, she didn't do much more than get knocked down and hit in the face.

"Why don't you skip class today, girls?" One of the boys grabbed Kurama's arm, and another grabbed Aratani's; she looked like her knees were about to give out.

"My friend and I have no intention of skipping class," Kurama said firmly, easily shaking his arm out of the boy's grip.

"Come on, smart girls are boring," said his friend, the boy holding onto Aratani. "Why don't you two girls come behind the bleachers and show us what you can _really _do?"

"Unhand her," Kurama warned, his voice deadly calm. "_Now_."

"Or what?" sneered the largest boy, who was the size of a refrigerator. "What are you going to do, tell your mommy on—OWWWW!"

One of the gang members had made the mistake of trying to pin Kurama's arms behind his back. And within forty seconds, all five of them were laying on the ground, groaning and barely conscious, just like their leader.

"You were lucky today," Kurama hissed. "Come near Aratani again—or _any _other girl—and I promise I'll show you what I can _really do_."

Leaving them all there on the ground, not really paying attention to everyone gaping at him, Kurama gently nudged Aratani to keep walking. He hitched his bag up over his shoulder again and turned to head into the school with her, but that was when he heard another voice, this time an adult's.

"Miss Minamino!" Kurama turned around to see the school principal, looking quite as shocked as anyone else. "Were you…were you _fighting?!"_


	7. School Daze

_Uh_-_oh_.

"Please explain yourself, Miss Minamino," the principal ordered, his tone just a bit harsher.

"It wasn't her fault!"

Much to Kurama's surprise, Aratani darted in front of him. Her glasses were stained with tears, and Kurama had dents in his arm from where her fingernails had dug into him, but she seemed to be recovering herself.

"Excuse me?"

"It was Tadayo," Aratani explained. "I saw him sneak up behind Shuichi and put his hands around her neck."

"So she threw him into a wall?"

"I'm very sorry about this, sir," Kurama said in his calmest voice, thanking Aratani with his eyes. "I know I overreacted."

"Please, Principal, Shuichi was in a dangerous situation," Aratani insisted, her voice rising in pitch. "She was just defending herself."

"Be that as it may, fighting is still not tolerated on school property, Miss Minamino," said the principal. "You have been a role model student in the past, and as a result, I will let you off with a warning. But I must impress upon you the fact that our school prides itself on its image, and if I catch you fighting again, I will have no choice but to suspend you."

"Yes, sir," said Kurama, relieved. Aratani grinned at him, and the two of them walked to class together. Aratani looked up at him with a curious expression on her face.

"May I ask you something, Shuichi?" she said. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"It's all right."

"Who's Karasu?" Aratani asked. "You screamed that name when Tadayo grabbed you. Does he go to this school?"

"No, thank goodness." Kurama sighed, resigned to telling the story. Well, some of it, anyway. "Karasu was someone I once knew who...well, he was sexually harassing me, making all these suggestive comments, you know, and I was honestly worried he was going to take advantage of me. There was this one time when he snuck up on me and put his hands around my neck, playing with my hair, telling me I was afraid of his touch, but at the same time, I probably wanted it."

"That's disgusting," said Aratani.

"Yeah," Kurama agreed. "If his friend Bui hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened, and I don't like to think about it. But the worst part is that he treated me like an object...like something that _belonged _to him. He humiliated me."

"Oh, Shuichi, I'm so sorry that happened to you." Aratani linked arms with Kurama. "It's like we're just prizes to be won, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Just remember, Shuichi." Aratani's tone suddenly became businesslike. "If it makes you uncomfortable, it's not a compliment, it's creepy."

"If that's true," Kurama replied with a sigh, "Karasu was as creepy as they come."

"You know, it sounds like you're still pretty traumatized by him...not that I blame you or anything," Aratani observed. "But I bet the school counselor could help."

"I'm really okay, Aratani," Kurama told her. "But thank you for your concern."

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Aratani about Karasu. Before, they had discussed all kinds of things when they worked together in class, not just classwork, and their conversations were always interesting. But rarely did they talk about things like this. Did the girls just keep any improper advances from boys a secret amongst themselves?

"Anyway, I'm really, really grateful you saved me." Aratani smiled. "I'm sure Tadayo is really embarrassed that his gang got beaten up by a girl." She paused. "I didn't know you could fight, though."

"Well, usually I don't need to," Kurama told her.

"But if you hadn't been there, they would have gotten me," Aratani said. "I could never have fought those guys off. I'm only strong in my mind."

"Your mind is your greatest weapon, Aratani," Kurama told her. "Listen. I'm busy right after school, but you could come over later, and my friends and I could show you some basic self-defense."

"Sure!" Aratani beamed. "Do you really mean that, Shuichi?"

"Of course," said Kurama, and he gave her the address. He decided he would give her Kuwabara's address, though, since that was where the four of them usually hung around after their school hours. Kurama was a master martial artist, and combined with Yusuke's knowledge of street fighting, they could really help Aratani out.

…

Yusuke was still surprised at himself. Yesterday, he thought there was no way he was coming to school trapped in a girl's body, but the thing was, nobody seemed to know the difference except Shizuru, and that was only because she was spiritually aware. Keiko treated him like a platonic friend, probably because she was interested in boys.

The absolute worst part about this was having to wear a bra. These things hurt at the slightest movement, and the bra only made it worse. They were big enough that he wouldn't be able to get away with not wearing a bra, yet small enough for a lot of girls to make him feel inferior. Not only that, but he was tired, and he could feel a strong headache coming on. Whenever he sat down anywhere, his skirt rode up and his legs stuck to the surface. To top it all off, they were in the middle of a really boring geography lesson.

"Over here, Miss Urameshi," the teacher said sternly, tapping her pointer at a map of the world. "You can't see China out the window."

Yusuke pretended to look at the board, but he was really looking at Keiko, who was dutifully taking notes. Just a few days ago, she had been cheering him on in the Dark Tournament. School had become _extra _boring, now that he and his friends were no longer fearing for their lives.

"Urameshi, your life energy isn't looking too good," Kuwabara whispered from a few seats away.

"Shut up."

"Are you still good to go to the mall today?"

"I said, shut _up_," Yusuke hissed. Of _course _he wasn't good to go to the stupid shopping mall, but it wasn't like he had any choice. Not unless he wanted to wear a girls' school uniform until they killed whoever did this to them…or until the day he died. Whichever came first. 


	8. Mean and Meaner

After what happened that morning, Kurama noticed that everyone in his school seemed to be more interested in him than usual. It was only to be expected, he thought. It used to be that Tadayo and his gang were the toughest of the tough, at least when it came to this school (Yusuke and Kuwabara probably could have taken them down with their eyes closed). But guys weren't trying to hit on Kurama anymore, for which he was _definitely_ thankful.

Overall, his lessons weren't bad. When it was lunchtime, he went out to sit on the steps, as usual. Aratani joined him with a smile.

"How's it going?" she said in a friendly way. "Looking forward to the lab?"

"Sure," Kurama replied. "I heard we get to do some great experiments today, even though we have that test first. Listen, do you want to quiz each other for it?"

"Oh, ha-ha, Shuichi," she joked. "Like you even need it. You've got the top scores in this entire school!"

There was a pause where Kurama watched her eating lunch. How would it have been, he wondered, if he had been her boyfriend? Would a demon have targeted her? One way or another, she would end up being used as a weapon against him, just like his mother had been in the Dark Tournament. He was simply linked to too many dangerous beings. Hiei alone would probably scare her off. Kurama never told anyone, but he really did feel jealous sometimes of what Yusuke had with Keiko. Their love and devotion for one another trumped their fears. Could he _ever_ do the same? Was he missing out on something wonderful, just because he didn't want to leave things to chance?

There had been times, during their lab work together, when Kurama _knew _he felt something special. When the conversation came to a halt and their eyes met, or one of his hands brushed up against hers, or if he observed her behavior, her smiles, the way she walked, her good deeds...Aratani wasn't just intelligent; she also had a very kind heart. That was what Kurama noticed the most. What he loved the most. And he knew better than anyone what kindness really could do to help a person.

"Listen, Aratani," Kurama said, and she smiled again. She smiled so much. "Would you like to stay for dinner this Saturday?"

"Oh, I'd love to, but I can't," Aratani replied. "I'm going out to dinner with my boyfriend that night."

"Your _boyfriend?_ I didn't know you had a—"

"There you are, Aratani!" It was none other than Kaito, Kurama's academic rival, and apparently now his romantic rival as well.

"Kaito, sweetheart!" she cried, jumping up and kissing him on the cheek.

Kurama stared. It was a known fact that Aratani didn't have a boyfriend. And yet, in this insane, mixed-up, twisted, alternate reality, she was dating _Kaito_, of all people?

"Come on, sit down with us, Kaito," Aratani said, leading him by the hand. "You've met Shuichi, haven't you?"

Kurama expected some of the usual treatment; Kaito never made any attempt to hide his envy of Kurama's academic ability. But in place of any snobby resentment, Kurama got a friendly smile. In fact, Kaito made direct eye contact without looking jealous at all.

"Yes, we've met," he said. "How are you, Shuichi?"

"Fine," Kurama replied, his eyes searching Kaito's. What was going _on_ here? According to Aratani, his grades hadn't suffered any, in spite of this switch. So why was Kaito suddenly being nice?

"I heard what happened to you two outside the school today," Kaito continued. "Are you all right?"

"Thanks to Shuichi, we are," said Aratani.

"Tadayo and his gang are such heathens," Kaito said loftily. "But Shuichi, I must admit I'm surprised at you. Is it true you threw Tadayo against a wall and gave him a concussion?"

"Well, to be fair, I didn't know he was going to fly so far," said Kurama.

"If he doesn't want a concussion, he shouldn't touch Shuichi without permission," said Aratani. "You would never be such a pig, would you, Kaito?"

"Oh, never, my dear," replied Kaito. "Women should be treated with respect."

"I love you, snuggle muffin," Aratani cooed, holding his hands.

"I love you more, kissy-wissy," said Kaito, giving them a squeeze.

"I love you times one hundred, tickle bear!" giggled Aratani.

"I love you times one thousand!"

"I love you times one million!"

"I love you times—"

"Considering how high both of you can count," Kurama interrupted, cutting Kaito off, "I think it's best we call it a draw."

"If you say so," said Kaito, giving Aratani a wink, and she giggled again. If this was the movies, Kurama would have slapped himself.

On one hand, it was good Aratani was seeing someone who would treat her right. On the other, why couldn't it have been Kurama? Well, he knew why it couldn't have been him. Because he was linked to death and destruction. But what didn't make sense was the fact that she was only dating Kaito after this affliction had gone into effect. Why was that?

"I'm going to go get us some dessert," Aratani said brightly. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Kurama waited until Aratani was out of earshot, then muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "So, how did you ask her out?"

"I was tutoring her in the literary arts," Kaito replied snobbishly, apparently eager to relive the story. "You know, Aratani is very good at science and math, but she often needs help with writing. After I was done reviewing her presentation, I asked her if she would like to go to dinner with me sometime, and she said yes. We've been dating ever since."

"And when was that?"

"Just about a month ago."

"Wait a minute...Were you reviewing her mythology project? The one on divine punishment?"

"Why, yes!" Kaito looked shocked. "How did you know?"

"Because she told me about it..."

Yes, she had told him. But not the same story.

_"You know, Shuichi, the strangest thing happened the other day," Aratani said in an offhand way. Her eyes were focused on her lab work, but her voice prompted him to ask more.___

_"Oh really? What?" ___

_"Kaito," Aratani replied. "He was helping me out with that report I'd been having trouble with, the one about divine punishment in mythology."___

_"Yes, I enjoyed that one very much."___

_Aratani beamed, then continued, "Well, he asked me out when we were done."___

_"What?" Kurama nearly dropped the beaker he was holding. "Kaito asked you to be his girlfriend?"___

_"Yes, exactly," said Aratani. "I turned him down, though."___

_She looked at him as though expecting him to ask why, but he didn't; that would be rude. However, he was a little curious.__  
_  
_"That's strange," Kurama told her with a smile. "Kaito is very intelligent. It seems like he would be just your type."__  
_  
_"Oh, he's very smart, and very nice," Aratani said. "I love how he advocates against violence. But I just...I just didn't feel it. Saying yes would be like lying to him. I didn't want to lead him on."___

_"Well, it's best to be honest," Kurama agreed. "I hope you find someone special someday, though."__  
_  
_"I wish the same for you," Aratani said softly. But then she dropped the subject, and the two of them continued their lab work._

Kurama was watching Aratani in shock as she waited in line to buy desserts. How could he have missed it? Why did he not see it before? If he was correct, and he was quite sure he was, Aratani liked him a whole lot more than he had previously thought. That was why she hadn't said yes to Kaito. She had passed him up because she was hoping to get an offer from someone she liked better_._

It seemed arrogant to come to such a conclusion, but it was the only one that really made any sense. Now that Kurama no longer looked like one of Aratani's preferred sex, Kaito's competition was gone. Kaito had been upgraded from the friendzone to "Mr. Right Now." Poor Kaito.

"I suppose you're jealous of her math and science scores," Kurama continued.

"Oh, no, not at all," Kaito said emphatically. "I love smart girls. If a girl scores better than I do, it only endears her to me more."

That was when, to Kurama's horror, his eyes directly met Kaito's, and, well…it certainly wasn't jealousy Kurama saw in his rival's eyes this time.

"You're looking kind of sweaty, Kaito," Kurama said flatly. "You sure you don't need the bathroom or something?"

"I'll be fine," Kaito said, looking away, but there was a faint blush in his cheeks. "I-I'll just wait in line with her, shall I?"

"Right." Kurama was sitting on the steps, alone, watching Kaito in the dessert line, talking and laughing with Aratani. She seemed to be having the time of her life with him. This whole thing served him right. Maybe Hiei was fine with people passing in and out of his life, never staying too long, but Kurama wasn't. Did he just want to be with Aratani because she was with Kaito? Was it just jealousy of his rival?

_That's insane_, Kurama told himself. _Aratani isn't a test score. She's a human being who's allowed to make her own life decisions. And if Kaito is that decision…_

But he _hadn't _been her decision. Not really. He certainly hadn't been her first pick. But there was nothing he could do about it now.

"Hey, Shuichi."

Kurama looked around. Another girl had taken Aratani's seat, one who was not quite as welcome. Her name was Chizuko, and Kurama generally did his best to avoid her. She ran a gossip column in their school newspaper, and not only did she squeeze in every bit of gossip she could get her perfectly-manicured hands on, she shamelessly libeled anyone who rubbed her the wrong way, and in the absence of juicy gossip, she simply made something up.

Chizuko was infamous for shredding boys' hearts into ribbons and destroying other girls' social lives. In particular, she seemed to have it out for Aratani, whose name appeared in the gossip column every other week. Kurama had heard they were friends in junior high and something went awry; Aratani and Chizuko had gone to a different junior high than Kurama had, so he wasn't familiar with that story. But they had gone their separate ways, and each now hung out with a separate group. Chizuko was on the cheerleading squad and a member of a bunch of other "high-profile" clubs, and Aratani was friends with the people Chizuko would call "nerds." Kurama, himself, felt above the whole social pecking order of high school, but that didn't mean he wasn't observant of what went on around him.

"Good afternoon, Chizuko," Kurama said warily.

"Feeling a little jealous, are we?" she said with a smirk.

"Excuse me?"

"I saw you eyeing Kaito and Aratani," Chizuko teased. "You can do _so _much better than that book snob, hon. You know that, right?"

"Kaito is nothing more to me than a friendly academic rival," Kurama told her. "I assure you I do not feel romantic towards him in any way."

"Shuichi, you just never let yourself do anything fun, that's all."

"I wouldn't consider it fun to break his heart, Chizuko." Kurama kept his voice even and calm, though it sounded a bit frosty. Kaito might be a little snobby, and certainly jealous, but he wasn't a bad person, and he wasn't nearly as morally reprehensible as Chizuko herself. Kurama couldn't see for the life of him how she and Aratani had ever been friends.

"I'm an expert at reading body language, you know," she continued. "I can tell he likes you, certainly better than that dork. He was _so _coming onto you. I'm sure he'd love to get you in bed, don't you agree?"

"Kaito seems faithful to me," said Kurama, trying to hide a shudder at the thought of himself and Kaito in bed.

"I suppose it's just as well, girlfriend," Chizuko said airily. "If you want my opinion, I'm guessing Aratani is only with Kaito because she can't do any better, either. They're with each other because they're both losers."

_Foolish girl. _She was so pathetic, obviously pretending to make friendly conversation, when she was really just hoping to get information out of him so she could put it in her awful gossip column. Didn't she have anything better to do?

"Oh, I wouldn't call them losers," Kurama said softly, suppressing a flare of anger inside him. "They both scored well on exams."

"Life is about more than exams, Shuichi."

"I know," Kurama told her. "But life is about more than high school, too, don't you think? Why do you have to treat other people like this? If you're 'cool' on your own, you don't have to put others down."

For most students, it was critical not to say something incriminating around Chizuko, or anything that might anger her, but Kurama had never been in her gossip column himself, and he was pretty sure he was immune. It could be that she left him alone because she knew his good reputation would follow him and everybody would realize what a fraud she really was, but if she was as good at reading people as she claimed, she could probably tell that if she wrote a libelous story about him, it wouldn't bother him in the slightest.

"What are you, a shrink?" Chizuko said incredulously. "I told you, Shuichi, not everyone takes themselves as seriously as you do."

"I'm just asking a question," said Kurama. "I heard you were friends with Aratani in junior high. What happened to that?"

"That's none of your business!" she said in disbelief.

"Doesn't feel so good on the other end of the sword, does it?" Kurama's voice was quiet. "I'm sure you'd love to get your hands on a backstory like that. Of all the libelous stories you've written about Aratani, which one comes closest to the truth?"

Chizuko's face was blank as she stared out across the courtyard filled with milling students, all wearing their parkas, gloves, and boots. Aratani and Kaito were still in the dessert line, waiting to buy pudding.

"I-I don't know," she said finally. "Nobody's ever asked me that before."

"Well, I'm asking."

"What will you do if I tell you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing at all?" Chizuko was staring. "What kind of girl could get her hands on dirt like that and not tell anyone?"

"Someone who thinks all this is silly and insignificant, that's who."

"I suppose," Chizuko agreed. "The truth is…okay, remember how I said Kaito and Aratani are probably only with each other because they can't do any better?"

"Yes."

"Well, that was me in junior high," Chizuko confessed. "Aratani Fujisaki was the only girl who wanted to be my friend. I had really bad hair—this was before I learned how to make it look good—and I had lots of acne and I was fat and everyone teased me about my braces. But when they did, Aratani would speak up for me. She was my best friend."

"So why did you betray her?" Kurama asked, resting his chin on his hand.

"It turns out that was only my awkward stage," said Chizuko. "I got pretty and popular in high school. I learned how to do my hair, got my braces off, my acne cleared up, and as I 'developed' and got taller, my fat kind of dispersed itself better. I joined the cheerleading squad and made all these popular friends, and I knew if anyone saw me with Aratani, they would think I was a loser, too. We each sort of went our different ways after that.

"They're not my real friends," she continued, her voice soft as she examined her perfectly-manicured fingernails. "We all would betray each other in an instant. She who gossips to you, gossips about you."

Kurama was really glad then that he hadn't been born a girl. "Why do you care so much what other people think of you? Isn't it more important that you stay with your true friends?"

"Maybe," Chizuko muttered. "But it's too late now."

"It's never too late, Chizuko," said Kurama. "Life will surprise you sometimes."

"Believe me, there's no going back now." Chizuko stood up and began to walk away. "I know anyone would hate me for the things I've done."

"So you're just going to keep doing th—Chizuko, look out!"

Chizuko, distracted and not watching where she was going, was walking through a snowdrift (it was, after all, nearing the end of December) and she was headed straight for a sheet of ice left by a winter rain the night before.

"What?" she said, turning her head, but it was too late. Her winter boot slipped; she shrieked; she stuck out her hands to break her fall; she landed on the ice, groaning in pain, her long hair fanned out all over the ice. Students gathered all around her. Some were laughing at her fall; others looked concerned. Kurama ran over to see if everything was all right. Aratani ran over, too, he noticed, with Kaito on her heels.

"Stay still," Kurama ordered, one hand on Chizuko's shoulder, the other on her back. "Does anything hurt?"

"My ankle," she mumbled.

"I'll get the school nurse!" said Aratani, making a beeline for the school. Meanwhile, Kurama tried to utilize what medical knowledge he had, which was impressive, at least for your standard sixteen-year-old human. If Yukina and Genkai weren't around, Kurama was generally the one in charge of basic first aid, and even if someone wasn't in immediate danger, Kurama knew which plants could relieve pain.

"It looks like you have a sprained ankle," Kurama said, examining it intently. "Don't stand up. Wait for the nurse."

"I-I can't have a sprained ankle!" she cried. "The big cheerleading competition is this weekend!"

"Well," said a voice from behind them, "it looks like you won't be participating, then."

Kurama looked around, and so did Chizuko, plus all the other students who were watching. The speaker was a girl named Hanako, another cheerleader. She was known for being bossy and cruel; in fact, she made Chizuko look almost nice.

"Our chances at winning are really stiff now, Hanako," said Chizuko through gritted teeth. "I was practicing the Meiou Monster."

"What's that?" Kurama asked.

"It's a lot of talk, that's what it is," Hanako said in a snobby voice, crossing her arms. "No girl can do that routine."

"Ichika shows every new cheerleader the video," Chizuko explained in a mystic voice. "Around fifty years ago, our school's cheer captain at the time invented a solo routine that no girl has ever been able to replicate since. I'm kind of doing a modified, easier version, but it'll still be impressive."

"You _were _doing a modified version," Hanako sneered. "You can't do the Meiou Monster on a sprained ankle! _I'm_ going to do it, and Ichika is going to pick _me _to be the new captain after she graduates this year."

"Is that what this is all about?" Kurama raised his eyebrows slightly. "You two are competing to become Ichika's successor?"

"Yes." Hanako glared into Chizuko's eyes, and Chizuko glared right back. "Everyone knows the competition is going to decide who gets the title. Once I do the Meiou Monster and propel us to victory, she'll pick me for sure."

"But you just said nobody can really do the Meiou Monster," said Kurama.

"Ha! That was before I learned Chizuko was doing it." Hanako smirked. "You'll see."

Kurama hadn't known there were legendary cheer routines, although the routines they did—solo _and _group—were pretty impressive. It was certainly more than waving a pom-pom around.

"Have fun in the losers' circle," said Hanako, and she flounced away.

"I _can't _be out of the squad!" Chizuko, who had been so arrogant before, let her head fall back onto the ice. "Like I said, we'd all turn on each other in a minute. Hanako is such a bitch, and next year, she's going to be captain of the cheerleading squad."

"Oh no, she won't!"

Everyone looked around. There was Aratani, with the school nurse behind her. Chizuko stared up at her as the nurse tended to her ankle; Kurama got out of the way.

"I'll enter the competition for you," Aratani told her, "and Hanako won't look so good."

"What do you know about cheerleading?" Kurama asked curiously, looking up at her. Was this going to be like the movies, where the nerdy, unpopular girl had secretly been practicing gymnastics or cheerleading all her life? It didn't seem likely, seeing as Aratani was one of the least physically coordinated people Kurama had ever met.

And as it turns out, life _isn't_ like the movies.

"I don't know anything about cheerleading," Aratani admitted. "But I can learn."

"Yeah, only the competition is this Saturday," said Chizuko. "I was practicing the Meiou Monster, a routine that no girl has been able to replicate in fifty years. Some say it's impossible. You won't be able to do it, Aratani. _Nobody _will be able to do it."

Chizuko's voice broke, and she shut her eyes. Everyone was watching. Suddenly, Aratani held out her hand.

"It's okay, Chizuko," she said kindly. "Even if you never become a cheerleader again, I won't turn on you like Hanako did. I promise."

"I-I missed you, Aratani," Chizuko told her with watery eyes.

"I missed you, too!" said Aratani, and next thing you know, she had bent down to hug her old friend, and both were crying, although Kurama figured Chizuko was partly crying out of physical pain as well as the nurse bandaged her ankle.

"Want to do homework together after school?" Chizuko asked.

"Sure, friend," Aratani said, giving her a smile. "Sure."

"I'm glad you made up with Aratani, Chizuko," Kurama said, watching the two of them intently. "But there's one last thing I think you should do."

"What is it?"

"It would be best to give up your gossip column," Kurama said. "Causing other people pain won't make your own go away."

"But what am I supposed to do with myself, then?" she asked. "I've been doing that gossip column ever since I first started high school."

"You'll find something," Kurama told her. "It's never too late to start over."

"You could become a writing tutor, like Kaito," Aratani suggested. "Objectively, you're a pretty good writer. Use your skills for good this time, never for evil."

"That's a good idea," said Chizuko with a hiccough.

"Well, that solves that problem." Kurama looked at the two girls on the ice, Aratani kneeling, Chizuko still face-down. But, he thought to himself, Aratani had another. However much Kurama cared for her, he knew that it would be a hot day in January before she could propel Maiou High School's cheerleaders to victory—especially if the Maiou Monster was as difficult as the cheerleaders said.


	9. After School

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know that Kurama's younger brother is technically named "Shuichi," but mainly for differentiational purposes, I'm going to use the name they gave him in the Funimation dub, which is "Kokoda." Anyway, please enjoy Chapter 9!**

…

It wasn't unusual for Yusuke to skip gym class, but most of the time it was just because he didn't want to do whatever they were doing. In the boys' gym class, they were doing a unit on running, wherein all the boys had to run around and around and around and around the track until either the bell rang or they collapsed from exhaustion. The gym teacher didn't seem to care that it was freezing cold out, either.

This time, though, Yusuke really did feel terrible, and he couldn't put his finger on why. Besides, the girls were doing a gymnastics unit, which he really didn't want to be a part of to begin with. So instead of prancing around like an idiot, he just tried to take a nap under a tree.

"Urameshi!" It was Kuwabara. "Come on, you at least have to come to gym class every so often."

"Like hell I do!" Yusuke shouted at him. "I've had a headache all day, I'm hungry, I have to pee every ten minutes, and to top it off, I have to wear a skirt and a bra. Leave me alone, will you?"

"Why would you have to go to the bathroom so much?"

_"I _don't know! But it sure does take a lot more time as a girl."

"Jeez, and I thought you were just faking it."

"Nope." Yusuke readjusted his uniform skirt for the billionth time and tried to fall back asleep. "Thanks for waking me up."

...

Kurama was glad when school was finally over. It was common knowledge that Chizuko (at least in the past) kind of saw Aratani as her own personal chew toy of sorts, but since Kurama didn't usually spend much one-on-one time with Aratani outside the Biology lab, he hadn't truly gotten to witness so much enmity up close. As for the gossip column, he didn't even read that garbage. It was good that the two had made up, but "girl drama" was exhausting. Maybe Chizuko was doing all those boys a favor when she dumped them.

But now, Kurama really did want to spend time with Aratani. Besides, the situation from this morning hadn't left his mind so easily; who knew what could happen to Aratani on the walk home? Once Kurama saw that Kaito was staying after school for the yearbook club, he caught up with his lab partner as she left school grounds.

"Hello, Aratani," he said politely. "How would you like me to walk you home? I have to pick up my younger brother from his school, but maybe we could spend some time together."

"Sure." Aratani smiled. "I didn't know you had a younger brother."

"Well, my mom's engaged to his dad, so he'll technically be my stepbrother, but we get along really well," Kurama explained. Then he told her the name of Kokoda's school.

"My house isn't too far from there," Aratani said. "Come on, I'd love to meet him."

"I'm actually going to the mall with my friends after school," Kurama told her. "You're welcome to come along."

"No thanks, I have a lot of homework," she said. "I can come after, though, for the self-defense lessons."

"Good," said Kurama. "You'll be able to defend yourself from Tadayo in no time."

They were greeted with catcalls and jeers, just like on the walk to school, but it felt stronger to be together.

"Hey, redhead!" Kurama looked over, and there was a very overweight man leering at him. "Those are some nice boobs you've got there."

"She says thank you," Aratani called back. "But they're nothing compared to yours."

That left the man in shock, while Kurama and Aratani burst into hysterics. They were still laughing when they reached Kokoda's school. Kurama hoped his friend and brother would get along.

"Shuichi!"

The two of them turned, and there was Kokoda, running towards them.

"Good afternoon, Kokoda," Kurama said brightly. It was strange, but Kokoda seemed a lot taller. He was still shorter than Kurama, but the height difference was much less pronounced. Kokoda hadn't grown; Kurama had simply shrunk. Aratani, though, was about the same height as Kokoda.

"Hi," she said with a smile. "My name's Aratani. I'm a friend of your sister's. What's your name?"

"I'm Kokoda Hatanaka."

They shook hands, and then the party of three started off to Aratani's house.

"So what's the matter, forgot the way?" Kurama joked, smiling down at his future stepbrother.

"No, I just thought that since my dad is marrying your mom, we should be spending more time together," Kokoda replied.

"Yes, I'd like that," Kurama replied honestly, and Kokoda beamed.

They walked up the street. Kurama was familiar with the whistling and hooting by now, but this time it really annoyed him. He held tight the shoulder strap of his book bag with one hand and grabbed Kokoda's with the other. The sooner they got out of here, the better.

Perhaps noticing all the men being disrespectful to his future stepsister and her friend, Kokoda asked, "Why don't you have a boyfriend, Shuichi?"

"What?" Kurama looked down at his brother in surprise.

"Well, you're really smart and pretty and nice," Kokoda explained. "I would think all the boys want to be with you."

"You flatter me, Kokoda, though Aratani and I do seem to be getting a fair amount of attention from them." Kurama shrugged.

The worst, though, was when they were passing a construction site where a new restaurant was being built.

"Hey, baby, how 'bout you let me fill _your _hole?" one of them shouted, and Kurama couldn't believe he'd said something so obscene. Not only were they harassing him and Aratani, but what was worse, they were setting a bad example for Kokoda.

One of them, just finishing the last of his lunch, decided he had the right to wander over.

"Can I have your numbers, girls?" he said, slicking back his sweaty hair with one hand.

"No, thank you," Kurama replied, trying to keep his voice calm. "We're trying to walk home."

While he was focusing on that man, though, someone grabbed his hair from behind, and an unpleasant yet horribly familiar sort of cold surged throughout his body. He reflexively spun around, knocking the man out of the way. Couldn't they take no for an answer?

"Stop!" Kurama commanded. "I already have a boyfriend, and I don't think he'd be very happy to hear about all of this."

"I can call him for you!" Kokoda offered, his voice higher with nerves, but Kurama put a finger to his lips. Kokoda and Aratani were not to be harmed. Not on his watch.

"Well, he's a lucky man," said the construction worker, pushing Kurama along with a pat on the rear; Kurama was angry, yet relieved that nothing worse had happened to them.

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend." Kokoda's voice was breathy and his face was pale.

"It was a bluff," Kurama said quietly. "You see, brother, these types of men don't see women as real people. They see them as objects. There's no way he'd respect a real-life woman, but perhaps he would respect this imaginary man, and not touch his property."

"It's awful, but that's the way it is," Aratani agreed sadly. "At least I really do have a good boyfriend...but Shuichi, Kokoda is right. You could have any boy you wanted."

"Well…it's like this." There couldn't really be any harm in telling them, and it would probably be more helpful than trying to talk about it with Hiei. "I had a relationship in junior high, and let's just say it didn't end very well."

"But you can try again, though, can't you?" Kokoda asked. "You could miss out, you know, if you were afraid to try."

Kurama's eyebrows raised. For someone so young, Kokoda sometimes said things that were very wise.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained, girlfriend," Aratani added with a grin. "You know, Kaito might know some guys. He could introduce you, and then we could go on double dates."

That sounded like nightmare fodder, but Kurama forced his face into a smile.

"We'll see," he said, yanking his hands downwards, then remembering he was wearing a skirt. That had happened a lot of times today; he had a habit of always sticking his hands in his pockets when he wasn't using them, and it kind of threw him off balance when he remembered that the girls' uniform didn't have any pockets. The first thing he was going to buy at the mall was a good pair of jeans.

"So this boyfriend of yours," Kokoda said to Aratani. "How did he ask you to be his girlfriend?"

"It was when he was helping me with homework, of all things." Aratani laughed. "And he seemed so nervous. It was adorable."

"What?" Kokoda looked surprised. "Adorable?"

"Oh, you know, those vulnerable guys are always so cute, aren't they, Shuichi?" Aratani said, looking at Kurama. "When a guy acts vulnerable, it shows a girl that he's willing to let her into his emotional life. They make us feel closer."

"What about you?" Kokoda asked, looking at Kurama, who realized he was going to have to swap the pronouns again, or face a lot of awkward questions.

"Well, he told me I was his first love," Kurama replied, remembering.

"Wow." Aratani looked shocked. "That's really forward. What did you say?"

"Oh, I was all wrapped up in myself at the time, and he's moved on." Kurama shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"So what's better, forward or vulnerable?" asked Kokoda.

"Why?" Kurama smiled. "_You _wouldn't be trying to ask out a girl, would you, Kokoda?"

Kokoda ddn't say anything, but the sudden patches of pink in his cheeks told Kurama he'd guessed right. Aratani laughed good-naturedly.

"It's okay," she said. "We've all been there. You just have to think of something romantic to do."

"Like what?"

"Girls love flowers," Kurama said promptly. "Do you know where her locker is?"

"Yeah." Kokoda looked even more embarrassed. "I've...I've watched her there when we're at school sometimes."

"All you need to do," said Kurama, "is obtain one rose. Write your name on a piece of paper, tie it to the stem, and slip it in between the air vents of her locker. I can get you the rose."

"Shuichi!" Aratani shrieked. "How do you think of these things? I wish a boy would do something like that for me."

"Kaito's never given you flowers?"

"No, he likes to write poems about me and slip _those _into my locker." Aratani sighed. "I'm not a poetry fan, but I don't have the heart to tell him. He's such a sweet guy, and hurting him is the last thing I'd ever want to do, but...I don't know, sometimes I'm not sure if I really like him as anything more than a friend. I feel like something more is out there, waiting for me, something I'm missing. You ever feel that way, Shuichi?"

"Yes, I do." Kurama looked down at the ground, though, and he didn't meet Aratani's eyes.

"So how do you know if someone's just a friend, or more?" asked Kokoda.

"Not even the greatest philosophers of the world have been able to answer that question," Kurama replied. "I know two high-schoolers certainly couldn't."

"Well, they say you just..._know_," Aratani added. "Maybe that's why I'm not feeling it with Kaito. You know when it's right, but you don't know it when it's _not _right. I'm really confused about what I should do."

"I suppose love is cruel." Kurama gave her a wry smile.

"But listen, Kokoda, you don't have to worry about all this right now," Aratani said. "Just do what your sister told you, the thing about the rose, and let it go from there. If you listen to your heart, I'm sure you'll be able to tell if this is right."

They walked on, and after Kurama dropped Aratani off at her house and Kokoda off at his father's (plus one rose), he set off for Kuwabara's. When he finally arrived, he was pleased to see Hiei out in the front yard, practicing his swordsmanship moves.

"Hiei," said Kurama. "Good to see you up and about."

"It's good to be up and about." Hiei sheathed his sword and walked over to Kurama. "Home from school?"

"Yeah, I'm back." Kurama walked over to sit on the porch, Hiei following him. "What have you been doing all day?"

"Training, mostly."

"You're feeling better, then?"

"Definitely," Hiei replied. "This exercise actually helps with the pain, even better than your herbal tea, if you can believe it."

"Then come to the mall with us," Kurama insisted. "I know you're the only one of us who can still fit into his old clothes, but can't you come along anyway?"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're my best friend in the whole wide world, Hiei!" Kurama said jokingly, pulling Hiei in for a crushing hug.

"Best friend is not the right term, and you know it," Hiei snapped, wriggling out of Kurama's grasp. "We are only allies because somehow it would be even worse to have you as an enemy."

"Thanks, Hiei, I love you too," said Kurama sarcastically.

Hiei just made a derisive noise in his throat and turned away.

"Look, as long as you're training, can we do it together as we're waiting for the others?" Kurama asked. "High school is ridiculous if you're a teenage girl, and I've wanted to take the rose whip to something all day."

"I thought you'd never ask." Hiei stood up. "Think you can beat me in a skirt, fox?"

"Undoubtedly." Kurama stood up too. "Think you can beat me on your period?"

"With ease," said Hiei.

…

After a long day at school as a girl, Yusuke was seriously wiped out. Going to the mall was the second-to-last thing he wanted to do, but he had to go, because walking around for one minute more in a girl's school uniform was the _first_-to-last thing he wanted to do. He was feeling so ill that Kuwabara supported him on the way home, but he was momentarily cheered when he saw Hiei and Kurama fighting in the trees by Kuwabara's house, with Kurama still in his schoolgirl uniform.

"Hey, Kurama!" he called. "Nice panty shot."

Almost simultaneously, the two of them dropped gracefully to the ground. Hiei glared, while Kurama asked pleasantly, "What can we do for you?"

It never failed. Kurama and Hiei always had such a good-cop-bad-cop thing going on. Perhaps it was because of this that, as soon as Kuwabara let go of him, Yusuke fell right into Kurama's arms, the last of his energy giving out. Hmm. Those things weren't just huge, they were soft, too…woah, _concentrate!_

"What's wrong, Yusuke?" Kurama asked. "Hard day?"

"Yeah, he's been awful," Kuwabara was heard saying. "When he skipped gym class, it wasn't just because he didn't want to exercise. He was actually sick."

"It's these things on my chest," Yusuke said weakly, indicating.

"That's the same problem you had yesterday," Kurama reminded him, and Yusuke didn't like the concerned tone in his voice.

"I-I think I need some herbs," Yusuke mumbled.

"Come inside, please, and I'll make you something." Kurama headed towards the house, and Kuwabara helped Yusuke follow him. Hiei brought up the rear, shooting them apathetic looks every so often.

When they got inside, Kuwabara set Yusuke down on the couch, then sat nearby, while Hiei perched on the top. That was the weird thing about Hiei, or one of the weird things about him, anyway. He rarely sat on couches and chairs; instead, he'd sit on windowsills or tables or rails or headboards. He would enter houses through windows and sleep in trees.

"Maybe we should hold off on the mall for now, Yusuke," Kurama said as he started his herbs.

"No, thanks," Yusuke said, unhooking the bra and pulling it off. It was driving him insane. "I want to go today. You just need to tell me what I have, and cure it."

"Well, I'm afraid it's not that simple," said Kurama. "I'm not a doctor, and as far as I know, it's not normal to have pain in your—"

"Don't say it!" Yusuke interrupted. "Before this happened, I would have thought I'd be standing in front of a mirror naked all day, but I can't _stand _to look at myself without clothes. How weird is that?"

"I think we all feel that way, Yusuke," Kurama told him, and the other two nodded. "Being in a new body takes some getting used to."

"It's no fun being stuck in the wrong body," Kuwabara added.

"But hopefully, it isn't permanent," Hiei finished.

"Well, it had better not be," said Yusuke. "But anyway, how do you know this…this discomfort isn't normal for a girl?"

"I don't, exactly, but I can tell you that mine don't hurt." Kurama frowned. "Is anything else the matter?"

Yusuke groaned, and rattled off a list of all the other things that were bothering him.

"Finally," he concluded, "I'm feeling gassy."

"Gassiness I can take care of," Kurama told him, "but I can't treat an upset stomach with the same herbs I would use to cure a headache."

"My mom's got headache medicine she uses for her hangovers," Yusuke suggested. "Maybe you could get some of that."

"We have headache medicine here at our house," Kuwabara said, making his way to the upstairs bathroom, where he planned to root through the medicine cabinet.

"I'm surprised this pain bothers you at all, Detective," Hiei put in, looking down at Yusuke from his perch on the top of the couch. "It can't be that terrible, especially compared to what you experienced at the Dark Tournament, only a few days ago."

"I know, but it's still annoying. I feel, like, restricted."

"Then stay home," Kurama insisted.

"I'll be fine," said Yusuke irritably. "I may not want to go shopping, but I'd rather go through a hurricane on crutches than walk around in a girl's school uniform."

"This is probably bad if even _you _don't know what's wrong with him," said Hiei, talking to Kurama. "You don't suppose it has anything to do with our current...situation?"

"It's possible, though I'm not sure how," Kurama replied. "I'd have to think about it. What could be causing such a weak bladder all of a sudden?"

"That one's a mystery for sure," Yusuke groaned. "Aren't you done with your herbs yet?"

"Almost. I just need to finish brewing the tea," said Kurama. "This should help with your upset stomach."

Kuwabara came rushing downstairs at that moment.

"I've got the headache medicine you wanted, Urameshi," he said, handing a pill bottle to Yusuke. "And some water to wash it down."

"Thanks," Yusuke replied. After he was done with the medicine, he asked, "So, has anybody given any thought as to how we'll _get _to the mall?"

"Well, it's a bit far to walk, and none of us are old enough to drive yet," Kurama said thoughtfully, handing Yusuke the tea that he had finally finished brewing. Yusuke blew on it to cool it off.

"I won't stoop so low as to riding a bicycle, if that's what you're thinking, Kurama," Hiei told his friend, obviously unwilling to engage in so _human_ an activity.

"But wait a minute, Kurama!" Yusuke sat up. "You have a learner's permit! That's probably close enough, right?"

"It's not nearly close enough," said Kurama. "It's a permit, not a license. It's illegal for me to drive without a licensed adult in the car."

"So what? Aren't you, like, thousands of years old, anyway?"

"Unfortunately, my learner's permit was issued to fifteen-year-old Shuichi Minamino, not thousands-of-years-old Youko Kurama," said Kurama flatly.

"As if a demon would ever have use for a car," Hiei said scornfully.

"I think we're getting off-topic here," Kurama cut in impatiently. "Yes, I'm going to be sixteen in only a couple of weeks. Yes, I know how to drive. Yes, it's frighteningly easy. Yes, I'm quite certain I'll pass the test on my first try—"

"Then what's wrong?" Yusuke asked.

"What's wrong, Yusuke, is that I'd have to borrow my mother's car, and she would know I was driving without a license, which, like I said, is illegal," Kurama told him. "And even when I do get a license, I'm not supposed to drive my friends around anyway."

"Then what do you need to drive a car for?" Kuwabara asked.

"I was hoping to get a job," Kurama replied, "and maybe do some errands and things, but I could never use the car without permission, much less without a license. If I got a ticket, my mother would be so disappointed."

"Well, _my _mom doesn't care about what I do," said Yusuke, putting his tea down and standing up. "I may only be fourteen, but if driving's so easy, Kurama, I think _I'll _just drive _her _car, and nobody will be any the—"

"Over my dead body," said Kurama, gesturing to the couch. "Now sit down and drink that tea I made for you."

"Jeez, Kurama, I know my mom is a terrible parent, but that doesn't mean _you _get to be my mom." Yusuke sunk back onto the couch; his words were only met with an exasperated, yet dignified sigh.

"Kuwabara," said Kurama, "do you think your sister Shizuru could take us?"

"No, she's out with friends."

"Well, there's a bus that leaves in about ten minutes that can take us," said Kurama. "Let's go."

...

The squad made it onto the bus with no time to spare. They'd all taken time to get ready, each of them making sure their clothes were fine, that they had enough money, that they had all used the bathroom, that they had eaten, that Kurama's hair looked okay (it did)...Hiei, in particular, was quite angry about their journey, because he knew that if he'd been traveling alone, he could have done so at a much faster pace.

"Fare?" asked the bus driver, giving them a kind smile. She was getting on in years, and this was probably her job in retirement. Luckily, they all really did have enough money to buy their clothes, and they had pooled their money for the fare.

"There you are," said Kurama, handing the money over.

"Thank you." The bus driver smiled sweetly, then turned to Hiei. "Now, make sure you stay close to these older girls and listen to what they say, all right?"

"How nice of you," Hiei said sarcastically. "It almost warms the space my soul would occupy if I had one."

The bus driver stared, but Kurama prodded Hiei in the back to keep him moving. At this time of day, the bus was extremely crowded, what with everyone trying to get home from work, and all the seats were filled. The four of them went to grab onto poles, prepared to stand for the entire ride, but that was when four men stood up.

"Excuse us," one of them said courteously. "Please take our seats."

"Um...sure, thanks." Yusuke sat down in the newly open seat, and the other three followed suit. Kurama sat in between Hiei and Yusuke, and Kuwabara sat on Yusuke's other side.

"Human custom?" Hiei muttered to Kurama, who nodded and smiled.

"Hey, Kuwabara, want to hear a bus joke?" Yusuke was heard saying. After taking his headache medicine and some of Kurama's tea, his mood seemed to have improved.

"Sure."

"What happened to the guy who took the 5 o'clock bus home?"

"I dunno, what?"

"He had to bring it back!"

The two of them exploded into laughter, while Kurama groaned, and Hiei leaned over to give them a long, withering glare. Unfortunately, that was when the bus (which didn't have any seat belts) went over a pothole, and Hiei was propelled with a scream into Kuwabara's lap.

"Hey! Get off me!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Do you think I wanted that to happen?" Hiei snapped. One of the men who had given up their seats bent down to help him up, but he shoved the hands away. He just got up on his own and took his seat next to Kurama. He noticed that Kurama was crossing his legs at the ankles instead of the knees as usual, probably because that skirt was so short. Kuwabara and Yusuke were sitting the same way they always did, but that was okay, because their uniform skirts were much longer.

Hiei was glad none of the men were looking at him the way they looked at Kurama; that was probably because, if the bus driver wasn't alone in her opinion, he looked like a ten-year-old, albeit one who was dressed a little strangely. It was hard not to trip on his black cloak, which was a few inches longer now—well, technically he was just even smaller than usual, but whatever. Kurama looked the oldest of them all; he could easily have passed for eighteen. Yusuke and Kuwabara seemed to be caught in that in-between stage, which was much more visible if you were a girl.

"So, where are you four headed?" one of the men asked politely. Kurama seemed not to have sensed a threat from them, because he responded politely.

"Just a nice day of shopping with my three best friends," he replied.

So it was true; Kurama saw the four of them as best friends. _As if_. Hiei was already horrified to discover that perhaps he _might _be a _little _upset if something happened to Kurama, but that was only because the fox demon had so far resisted Hiei's every attempt to push him away.

"How do I let you talk me into stupid things like this, Kurama?" Hiei muttered. "Honestly, a human city bus?"

"I don't know how you'll ever come to like the human race if you never give them a chance," Kurama whispered back.

"I'm not _trying _to l—ahhh!"

Hiei had been tossed the other way, this time across the laps of two strangers. Stupid bus!

"Watch out there, Hiei," Kurama told him, standing up and hoisting Hiei up by the armpits. Then he set him back in his seat, only to be knocked onto the ground with another bump in the road.

"Hey, bus driver! Are you going out of your way to hit every speed bump in town?!" Yusuke hollered, standing up and grabbing a pole.

"SIT DOWN!" they heard her scream back.

"I think the biggest bump so far is up here." Kurama winced and rubbed his head.

"You two had better hope Kurama doesn't have permanent brain damage," Hiei said scathingly, reaching down his hand at the same time Kurama raised his up. In this way Kurama was able to take his seat again.

"Don't blame _me_, Hiei," Yusuke said angrily. "Kurama was the one who told me I couldn't drive my mom's car."

"Yes, my mistake," Hiei retorted. "If Kurama had let _you _drive, we'd _all _suffer permanent brain damage."

"Oh, ha-ha," said Yusuke, and the ride went on.


	10. Shopping Day

Kurama was glad to get off the city bus, but not so glad to see that Monday afternoon at the mall was just as busy as ever. But when the squad got inside the mall, they realized they had no idea _how _they were supposed to pick out clothes. After all, these were things girls and women spent their whole _lives_ learning how to do. How were they supposed to learn in only a single afternoon?

"What we need to do," said Kurama, "is find a knowledgeable employee. We can tell her all our clothes burned in a fire or something, and we need to start a new wardrobe from scratch."

"But what store should we visit?" asked Yusuke.

"Well, I don't know where you get _your _clothes, but the big department stores will have men's and women's clothes both," Kurama told him.

So that was where they headed. There were a few they steered clear of entirely because the prices were so high. Kurama's favorite store charged more for women's clothing than for men's, much to his chagrin, so they ditched most of the stores he used to shop at. Luckily, pretty much every clothing store they found had apparel for women, exclusively or otherwise. Finally they found a store where the clothes were pretty inexpensive but not to the point where they were cheaply made.

Not counting Hiei, who didn't need anything new, anyway, they each would be able to afford what they needed. Kurama had money saved up from his allowance, chores, and holidays; Shizuru had given Kuwabara some cash in advance; and Yusuke had simply "borrowed" his mother's credit card before they left, justifying it by saying she would probably want him to use it.

"She says it's for emergencies," said Yusuke, when Kurama glared at him. "If a trip to the bar at two in the afternoon is an emergency, so is this."

Kurama felt a little sorry for Yusuke, who had nobody responsible to look after him for most of his life, so he didn't say anything more about it. Besides, if he or Kuwabara ran out of money, Yusuke could cover them with a credit card, if need be.

"Hello, my name is Melody, can I help you with anything?" asked a smiling employee.

"Yeah, our clothes burned in a fire, and we need new ones," said Yusuke, kind of lamely.

"I-I'm sorry to hear that," said Melody. "What kind of clothes are you looking for?"

"We were actually hoping you could help us with that," Kurama told her. "We're not very good at picking out clothes."

"Sure, I'm on company time," she joked, and led them deeper into the store. "What we need to do is go from the top down. So first, you need to tell me what you feel most comfortable wearing. Do you like dresses and skirts, or would you prefer a more casual style?"

"Oh, we just like jeans and T-shirts," Kuwabara told her.

"Winter gear, too, since it's cold out," Kurama added.

"And maybe something cool, like a leather jacket," Yusuke finished.

"What about you, little boy?" Melody said sweetly, bending down to be eye-level with Hiei.

The four of them looked at each other in surprise. Little _boy? _But then, Kurama thought as he looked at his smallest friend, it wasn't so hard to believe. After all, Hiei was dressed the same as always, he hadn't grown any breasts or hips, and Kurama had cut most of his hair off. So they just decided to go along with it.

"Oh, that's just my little brother," Kurama told her. "Hiei doesn't need any new clothes, but I brought him to the mall because I have to babysit him today."

Kurama dodged out of the way as Hiei tried to elbow him, and the other two were snickering, but there was a good reason for what he said, he thought. There was still the matter of the higher-pitched voice and the delicate features, so making Hiei seem like a young child would easily explain that away. He looked and sounded more like a prepubescent boy than any sort of female, anyway.

"How old is he?" asked Melody.

"Almost ten," said Kurama, again spinning out of the way of Hiei's jab in the ribs. "So, what colors do you think would look best on us?"

Melody examined Kurama first, her scrutinizing gaze seeming to take everything into account.

"Green," she said firmly. "Your amazing red hair and beautiful green eyes would look perfect in _anything _green. Purple, royal blue, and black would work, too. Try to steer clear of reds, oranges, lighter yellows, darker pinks, and most pastels. Very pretty girl, though, you'd look good in anything."

"Thank you," said Kurama. "What about the rest?"

"Any shade of blue is definitely your best color," said Melody, turning to Kuwabara, "but definitely avoid anything orange. It's all about contrast and matching, girls."

Kuwabara definitely had to be happy about that, because blue was already his favorite color. Yusuke was last.

"Now, you have black hair, which goes with almost anything," Melody told him. "But if I were you, I would put the focus on warmer colors—red and yellow, especially. If you're doing cool colors, I would recommend lighter shades."

The next hour or so was pretty well-spent. Melody helped Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke pick out clothes, with Hiei trailing behind. They were allowed to wear their new clothes home, and stuffed their school uniforms in the shopping bags along with everything else they bought. They were planning to go to a few other stores, but Yusuke treated everyone to frozen yogurt first.

"You know, I'm glad I went to the mall," he said. "This is awesome."

"For an inferior world, you do have some delicious food," Hiei reluctantly agreed.

They walked through the mall, looking for the next store to head into. They were all in cheerier moods, because they were dressed in clothes they felt more comfortable wearing. Even Hiei ended up getting more "human" clothes, which Kurama bought for him, partly to make up for pretending he had to be babysat, but also because when he had his cloak on, he looked rather like a child wearing a Halloween costume.

All four were wearing jeans; Hiei was wearing black jeans, Kurama dark wash, and the other two lighter wash. Yusuke found some pre-ripped ones, which he wore even though Kurama scoffed. Kurama wore a green sweatshirt with a fox on the front, with a royal blue V-neck underneath; Hiei had a black T-shirt that read "I'm Allergic to Stupidity; I Break Out In Sarcasm," with a long-sleeved white shirt underneath; Yusuke had a plain white shirt with a black leather jacket; Kuwabara had a sweatshirt like Kurama's, except for it was blue and didn't have a picture of a fox on it.

They went to several more stores, and even though none really wanted to admit it, they were enjoying themselves. They didn't buy any belts or watches, since the ones they already had still fit, and (needless to say) purses were out of the question. Kurama wore a light-pink rose in his hair, tucked just above his ear, and he got some black ankle boots that looked very good with his dark-wash boot-cut jeans.

"I'm getting hungry," said Kurama finally. "Do any of you want to stop at the food court?"

"Sure, I'm starving," said Kuwabara, but that was when another store caught the boys' attention—Fantasy Creations, a lingerie store.

"Can we go in there?" Yusuke asked. "Nobody will give us weird looks."

"What do you plan on buying?" said Hiei doubtfully.

Kurama couldn't resist. "We'll tell you when you're older, Hiei."

That caused the other two to laugh so hard they cried, and Hiei looked livid, but he went into the shop with the rest of them. All four knew that they'd only be looking, anyway. They were done buying undergarments.

When they got inside, Kurama was thankful that there weren't a lot of men, because he was sick of getting hit on and catcalled. But there was someone else—Keiko, standing in front of a mirror, holding a black lacy slip up in front of her, studying it from all angles. Yusuke seemed to have noticed, too, because he stopped so suddenly that Kurama bumped into him.

"Come on, guys, let's leave!" he hissed, his face red all of a sudden. "I don't want Keiko to know I saw her buying that thing!"

But it was too late. Before they could leave, Keiko noticed them.

"Hi," she said, walking over. "What are you guys doing at the mall?"

"We're just shopping for new clothes," Kurama told her. "You know, unwinding after school. Are you here on your own?"

"No, I'm with Botan," said Keiko. "She's trying something on. Hey, Botan, get out here!"

"I think this nightie is a little snug," Botan was heard saying as she left the dressing room, "but maybe that's the point…Oh, woah! Hey, guys!"

"We've never been in this store before," Kurama told her. Of course, he hadn't forgotten that she was one of the few who really knew what had happened to them; he was hoping she would help get them out of this awkward situation as soon as possible, but she decided to have some fun with them instead.

"Fantasy Creations, the kind of lingerie every woman dreams of owning, but only a few will dare," said Botan, and giggled. "Keiko and I are just two who dare."

"Yusuke, I need your opinion," said Keiko, not realizing Botan was messing with them. "Do you think this slip would look good on me?"

She held it up in front of her again, but Yusuke didn't really seem capable of speech.

"Are you all right?" Keiko asked him, looking a little concerned.

"Perhaps you should try it on for them, Keiko," Botan suggested. She looked like she was quite enjoying herself.

"Sure, maybe I will," Keiko said, turning to walk into the dressing room, but Kurama put one hand on her shoulder to bring her back, since he didn't need Yusuke going into shock and fainting right in the middle of a lingerie store.

"That's okay," said Kurama. "I think it looks fine."

"Thanks," Keiko replied, beaming. "Come on, Botan, let's see what else they have here."

"Sure you girls don't want to join us?" Botan added, her eyes laughing.

"Thanks, but we were just on our way to the food court," said Kurama, grabbing Yusuke's arm and hauling him out of the store, the other two following along behind. When they left the store, Yusuke let out a huge gasp of air, swaying on his feet.

"Oh my God," he said in a breathy voice, red-faced. "Can we please sit down?"

"Hey, you're a girl too now, remember?" said Hiei sardonically, as they all sat down on a bench. "She doesn't mind asking you about things like that."

…

Yusuke didn't know how to explain it to them. Or to himself, even.

"I _feel _like a girl…I guess," he said, shrugging awkwardly. "I mean, I think this is another girl thing we didn't know about. I didn't, at least."

"Huh?" said Kuwabara.

"Ever since this big switch of ours," Yusuke said, hoping he wouldn't have to describe the feeling outright, "haven't you guys encountered anything that…that _really_ turned you on? More than you could stand?"

"Why? Are we supposed to be keeping track?" said Hiei.

"No, but if you had this feeling, you'd remember it," Yusuke told him. "I've felt it before, but not really this bad. Or good. Or—you know what I mean, don't you?"

Yusuke lapsed into silence after that. Needless to say, he was careful not to mention that Kurama's female form did it for him just fine, since he already felt weird enough about that. Hopefully, it was more acceptable if it was Keiko.

"I think you mean that even after we got switched, we didn't lose the ability to get aroused," Kurama said finally.

"Yeah," Yusuke agreed, "but it feels different now."

"Well, that makes sense," said Kurama. "Most things are different now. Anything you've felt in the past couple of days, we probably have, too."

"It's like a burning feeling down there, kind of tingling…and then I get sort of—"

"_I'll_ tell you what's different," said Hiei, cutting Yusuke off. "Before we woke up in these female forms yesterday, we never talked about our private regions to each other. But now we do it all the time. Am I the only one who's noticed this?"

"You know, you're right," said Kurama, his eyes widening a little. "We're discussing our bodies a _lot_ more."

"Maybe that's a girl thing, too," Kuwabara suggested.

"Probably, but we're still guys, even if we don't look like it anymore," Yusuke said back. "So we should just go eat, and forget I ever said anything."

…

The food court at the mall was always nice to visit, since it had food from all over the world. Fast food, most likely, and not very authentic, but it was still nice to have so many options. You could walk across a few feet and pass Chinese, Cajun, Mexican, Italian, and a small variety of sub shops. For dessert, there was even an ice cream shop that sold smoothies. Kuwabara went with Yusuke to get tacos, but Hiei and Kurama got waylaid at the Chinese stand, which was giving away delicious free samples.

"You have some sauce on your cheek, Hiei," said Kurama, grabbing a napkin and bending down to wipe it off, but as soon as he bent down, he sensed someone checking him out from behind. Not again! Hiei must have seen someone, too, because he looked pissed off.

"Can we help you?" he demanded, crossing his arms.

"I really like your jeans, ma'am," said the man, looking at Kurama. "And your eyes are so pretty."

"Thank you," said Kurama dully.

The man introduced himself, then asked for their names.

"I'm Shuichi Minamino, and this is Hiei," Kurama replied, gesturing to Hiei.

"Wow," said the man, looking down at Hiei, then back up at Kurama. "You…you must have been a teenager when you had him!"

"_What?!" _Kurama shouted. "Hiei's not my _son! _I'm only sixteen!"

The man raised his eyebrows, like he didn't quite believe it, but it seemed he didn't want to take the chance and hit on someone who wasn't legal, so he turned around again. But it was too late. This was just too much.

"Hiei, get me some egg rolls and rice," Kurama snapped, and headed back to the table where his other two friends were. "I'll be waiting at our table."


	11. Breakup

"That's it, I hate this new female form!" Kurama groused, stomping over to the table where Yusuke and Kuwabara sat and plunking himself down. "I hate it, hate it, _hate _it!"

"Dude, what's your deal?" said Yusuke, pausing with a dripping taco halfway up to his mouth.

"Someone over by the Chinese food thought I was Hiei's mother," Kurama told him. Yusuke and Kuwabara burst out laughing, but Kurama said, "It's _not_ funny."

"You're already the mom friend of our group, Kurama," said Yusuke. "This new form just really sells it, that's all."

"I don't care," Kurama said, pulling off his green sweatshirt with the fox on it. "Nothing about it is good."

"There were those guys on the bus who gave up their seats for us," Kuwabara reminded him.

"So what?" said Kurama. "That was just four more men seeing us as objects."

"What do you mean, _more _men?" Yusuke asked. For a minute he'd forgotten about his taco, until he realized it was dripping all over the table. He pulled it out of the way before it could drip all over his new jeans. "I haven't had any men hitting on me."

"Well, you're lucky, then." Kurama was just glaring down at the table, since Hiei was still getting food for the two of them. "It's been happening to me all day long, and I'm really sick of it. I told the man at the Chinese stand I was underage, so he backed off before he could tell me which part of my body he liked best. My face, my eyes, my hair…What is it going to be next time?"

"Your chest?" Yusuke suggested. Now that Kurama's rather loose-fitting sweatshirt was off, the royal-blue V-neck he was wearing underneath it made his newfound breasts look even bigger.

"What did you say?" Kurama snapped.

"I mean, I'm surprised that guy thought you were a middle-aged mom. Only a teenager's boobs could be that round and perky."

One look at Kurama's face, and Yusuke wished he hadn't said that. Truthfully, it had sounded better in his head, and he couldn't imagine why he'd said it out loud to begin with. Luckily, though, that was when Hiei showed up with the Chinese food for him and Kurama.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Kurama was just telling us about how some guy at the Chinese stand thought Kurama was your mom," said Kuwabara.

"That human was an idiot," said Hiei sharply. "Kurama? I got you the egg rolls and a side of rice, like you wanted."

"Thanks," Kurama said listlessly, grabbing a pair of chopsticks and starting in on his rice.

Yusuke still felt bad for what he said to Kurama. For all the fox-demon said about how this wasn't the first time he had to get used to a new body, he seemed to suddenly be losing his grip fast. Yusuke wasn't good at discussing things like this, though, so he decided to just pretend nothing ever happened, like they had all been doing so far.

"These tacos are really good," he said finally. "Want some, Kurama?"

"No, thanks, I've got my own food," Kurama replied, and kept eating it. "How did everybody's day go?"

"Much better than yesterday," said Hiei. "I raided Kuwabara's fridge, spent the morning napping in a tree, and got a lot of training done."

"And you still look like a boy," said Yusuke enviously. "My day sucked, because I felt sick, and my classes were all boring, and we're doing gymnastics in the girls' gym class. I skipped gym, though. Sorry, Kurama." Even though he had never said anything about it before, Kurama had been getting on Yusuke's back about attending classes, probably as a distraction to their plight.

"I don't blame you, not if you're sick," said Kurama with a shrug. "We're starting a coed dodgeball unit tomorrow. Can you believe I can't remember the last time I've played dodgeball?"

"What's dodgeball?" Hiei asked.

"You probably wouldn't like it," Kurama told him. "We just kind of throw balls at each other, and if you get hit with one, you're out."

"Why wouldn't I like that?" Hiei said wickedly. "It sounds delightfully violent. And if you let me play, I'm sure I'll be super great at dodging."

"Oh, no," Kurama warned. "You can't use your speed if you're playing with humans, Hiei. Besides, you don't go to my school."

"Whatever," said Hiei. "How did _your _day go, then?"

"Well, let's see," Kurama replied. "I got into a fight, I reformed an evil cheerleader, I have the suspicion that my former academic rival is attracted to me, I found out my younger stepbrother is in love, and I almost got sexually assaulted by a gang of eighteen-year-old boys on the way to school." Kurama paused to rub his cheeks and forehead thoughtfully. "Oh, and I think I'm breaking out. It's probably just stress or something, but my skin is looking worse than—"

"You _almost _got sexually assaulted?" Hiei interrupted. "What do you mean, _almost?"_

"Well, how else do you think I got into that fight?" said Kurama. "The gang leader, Tadayo, snuck up on me, and when I got rid of him, so to speak, his cronies tried to corner me and my friend Aratani. When they tried to pin my arms behind my back, I had to defend myself and the girl. You _know_ I hate when people sneak up on me."

"Is that why you were so upset about that guy who thought you were Hiei's mom?" Yusuke asked tentatively. "Because I think you overreacted a little, man."

"That's what people said about Tadayo," Kurama answered. "But they weren't there, so they don't know. Anyway, I don't really want to talk about it. Mostly, I should tell you all that Aratani was really scared of Tadayo and his gang, and I offered her self-defense lessons after school."

"You _what?!" _Hiei shouted.

"Oh, Hiei, come on," said Kurama. "She doesn't need to be the next Genkai. All I meant was that I wanted her to be safe."

"Kurama's right, you guys," Kuwabara put in. "If we're real men, we _have _to help protect her from the jerks."

"And what better way than showing her how to defend herself?" Kurama said.

"I've never actually taught someone how to fight before," Yusuke said interestedly. "I'll do it, sure."

"Hiei?" said Kurama.

"Fine," Hiei groaned, but he didn't look exactly enthusiastic.

They finished their meal fairly quickly in order to catch the bus home on time, mostly talking about everyday things, but Yusuke was worried about Kurama. There was definitely something heavy going on with him, but it was hard to place. When the redhead got up to dump the contents of his tray in the trash can, Yusuke followed.

"I-I just want to say I'm sorry for being a jerk earlier," said Yusuke, looking down at the floor. "It's bad enough that a bunch of guys are hitting on you, but hearing one of your friends do it must be even worse."

"Don't worry about it," said Kurama. "It's fine."

"No, I don't think it is." Yusuke grabbed onto Kurama's arm. "What's wrong, Kurama?"

"Nothing's wrong." Kurama shrugged. "Well, besides the obvious, that is."

_It's VERY obvious_, Yusuke thought, but that was the kind of thing Kurama didn't want to hear, so he just said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Kurama smiled a little. "Besides, do you really want to be burdened with my problems? Hiei would probably say each of us has enough problems of his own."

"Well, no offense, but I'm not going to listen right now to those beliefs," Yusuke said. "I believe in teamwork and all of us holding each other up, not every-man-for-himself, and that's what we're going to do, whether Hiei likes it or not."

"That's wise of you, Yusuke," said Kurama, setting one hand on Yusuke's shoulder. "I promise I'll take those words to heart. But in the meantime, we have a bus to catch."

…

Kurama didn't say much on the way home, but he was thinking plenty. Discussing feelings was not exactly Yusuke's strong point, but Kurama could tell his friend was just trying to say that he would be there for him, no matter what, and that he was speaking for everyone. Yusuke could be immature, there was no denying it, but at the same time, some of the things he said were wise beyond his years, more so if you counted the things he wanted to say, but couldn't quite seem to put into words.

Once they had finished the walk to Kuwabara's house, it was around five. Since it was very close to the Winter Solstice, it was already dark out, and Kurama knew they couldn't have Aratani's lesson outdoors. Still, they waited outside for her to arrive—all except Hiei, who claimed he wasn't interested in teaching a human how to fight, and headed off for the woods. Kurama just shook his head and made a _tsk_-ing sound, then watched his friend leave into the night.

"So…when is this girl showing up?" Yusuke asked, sitting down on the backyard lawn. The wooded area was in Kuwabara's backyard, so that was where they were waiting.

"It should be soon," said Kurama, checking his watch. "I'll go wait for her near the woods."

Kurama waited by the edge of the woods, until finally he saw her coming around the side of the house to the back, the moonlight reflecting on her glasses.

"Evening, Shuichi," she said, setting her book bag down on the back deck and walking over to him. "I didn't see you in the front yard, so I came around b—AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Aratani let out an earsplitting shriek and Kurama pulled her out of the way just in time. There stood Hiei, having just launched a silent sneak attack from up in a tree. If Kurama had pulled Aratani away a split second later, she would have been sliced in two.

"Hiei!" shouted Kurama. "What the hell was that?!"

"That," said Hiei, looking straight at Aratani, "was your first lesson."

Aratani was still gasping in shock and fear, one hand over her heaving chest.

"I have to say, you failed miserably," Hiei continued. "For one thing, I've seen corpses with better reflexes than yours. Second, the only thing a scream like that will do is make your enemy angry. And third, you can't always rely on someone else to save you."

Plainly terrified, Aratani finally found her voice: "W-When h-have you s-seen a c-c-corpse?!"

Yusuke burst out laughing, but Kurama glared at him.

"That wasn't funny, Hiei," Kurama scolded. "What if I hadn't been here?"

"Hn. If you hadn't been here, I wouldn't have attempted it."

"Well, I don't know if that's your idea of a compliment, but _I'm_ sensei here," Kurama declared, "and I say you're not allowed to do things like that."

"Sensei Shuichi, huh?" Aratani grinned. "By the way, is that a fox on your sweatshirt?"

"Indeed it is," Kurama replied. "Do you like it?"

"Oh, yes, I love it!" said Aratani passionately. "I _love _foxes. They're my favorite animal! I love their adorable bushy tails and cute pointy ears!"

_All right, this is getting weird_, Kurama thought, but he didn't interrupt her.

"I wish I had a fox of my very own," she continued. "I would cuddle up with it every night and give it kisses and hugs…But, you know, it's a fox, so it would always get a little bit wild."

For a winter night, it was starting to feel quite hot, and it didn't help that the other three were snickering in the background, trying their best not to laugh their asses off. But all of a sudden, Kurama recognized _that_ feeling, the one Yusuke had been describing, the one _he _felt after they saw Keiko in the lingerie shop…and he was right. It _did _feel different. Obviously, this sensation was a lot more discreet than it would have been if Kurama hadn't been in this female body, but he had never wanted Aratani more—

"Ouch!" Kurama shouted, and turned around. Yusuke had just slugged him from behind, breaking him out of his spell.

"You can thank me later, fox-boy," Yusuke muttered so nobody else could hear.

"Okay, enough fooling around," Kurama told everyone, trying to ignore the unsavory feeling of being a little wet down there. "I want to get started with this lesson."

"So do I," said Aratani, who hadn't noticed anything at all out of the ordinary. "I suppose you'll be teaching me martial arts?"

"Not to mention some good old street fighting," said Yusuke. "Here, pretend I'm that Tadayo asshole and hit me."

"I-I don't know," said Aratani reluctantly, folding her arms behind her back. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"It won't hurt me," Yusuke told her. "Come on, right in the abs."

"Well…okay, then," said Aratani, and she threw a punch at him. "OW!"

"Are you all right?" Kurama asked, rushing over to her.

"That _hurt!"_ Aratani was saying, rubbing her left fist with her right hand (from the times he had seen her writing in class, Kurama knew she was left-handed). She even had tears of pain in her eyes.

"I guess my abs really are rock-hard," said Yusuke.

"No, she's just weak." Hiei sounded disgusted. "Who hurts their hand from punching someone _else?"_

"Hiei, if you can't stop being negative, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my dojo," said Kurama.

"We can't just go easy on a student," Hiei argued. "Nobody else will."

"Would you excuse us a minute?" Kurama said sweetly to Aratani, then he grabbed Hiei and marched him around to the side of the house.

"What's your problem?" said Hiei, scowling.

"_I_ want to know what _your_ problem is!" Kurama hissed. "Why are you being such a jerk?"

"I'm _not _being a jerk," Hiei snapped. "Sometimes you just have to be tough on people."

"Now's not the time. I told you, _I'm _sensei here."

"Well, you're not being a very good one, if you ask me."

"I _didn't _ask you."

"Obviously not, because all you care about is that stupid human."

"Is that it? You're _jealous _now?" Kurama demanded. "I'm allowed to spend time with other people, too, you know! We didn't vow to spend the rest of our lives with each other, did we?"

"I am _so not_ jealous!" Hiei shouted.

"If you were my real friend, you would be supportive of me and her!"

"If _you _were _my _real friend, you wouldn't promise to teach her how to fight without asking us first!"

"So I have to check with you every time I do something?"

"When it concerns me and entertaining the ridiculous needs of the inferior human race…_YES, YOU DO!" _Hiei hollered at the top of his lungs.

Kurama felt anger rise like a flame inside him, but he leaned back and crossed his arms, drawing himself up to his full, current five-foot-six.

"Well, then," he said sternly, "I guess this is where we part ways for today."

"What d'you mean?" snapped Hiei.

"I mean, _get off Kuwabara's property!"_ Kurama shouted, pointing his finger towards the woods.

And like a whisper, Hiei was gone.


	12. I Miss You

When Kurama walked back to Aratani, Yusuke, and Kuwabara, he was alone.

"Shuichi?" Aratani asked tentatively. "Are you all right?"

"Listen, Aratani, I don't mean to be rude…" Kurama set one hand on her shoulder. "But can I take a rain check for tonight? I just feel like—"

"You don't have to explain," said Aratani with a sad smile. "I understand."

"Things don't always turn out the way you expect," said Kurama.

"My parents probably want me home for dinner by now, anyway," Aratani replied. "Have a good night, Shuichi."

"You too," he said, though he didn't think he was going to have a very good night at all. What he wanted was a good training session with Hiei _and _Aratani, but now he had neither. Worse, now he was alone with Yusuke and Kuwabara, and he knew somehow that neither of them would be any help to him at all in this situation.

"Kurama, I…" Yusuke tried to say something, but his words faded away into nothing.

"I'll see you two later," was all Kurama said, and he walked home, hands in his pockets, wondering what the hell he had just done. When he reached the door, he felt shaky inside, like he was going to fall apart.

"Hello, Shuichi," called Shiori. "Have a good day?"

"Yes," said Kurama, trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible as he curled up on the couch. Even though his mom was fixing dinner, he wasn't hungry at all. How could he have done this to Hiei? They had been best friends for almost two years. Everyone saw them as inseparable. Hiei, used to a lifetime of rejections, surely thought Kurama had ditched him for Aratani…but that couldn't be any further from the truth. Aratani was a nice girl and Kurama really liked her, but he would _never_ choose her over Hiei.

Kurama's thoughts were interrupted by his mom draping a heavy blanket around his shoulders, then slipping a throw pillow under his head. She walked around the couch and set a steaming mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table.

"Thanks, Mom," said Kurama miserably.

Shiori placed one hand on her son's shoulder and said, "Shuichi, what's wrong?"

There was something about the way Kurama's mother asked this question that made his eyes water and his bottom lip tremble, and he longed to pour his heart out to her. But somehow, the words wouldn't come, so he just said, "Nothing."

"Shuichi, it's all right," said Shiori. "You don't always have to be strong, you know. Especially not around me."

"I-I…b-b-breakup," Kurama spit out finally. And that must be some kind of preprogrammed code word for women, Kurama thought, because his mother scooped him up without another word and let him cry in her arms for the longest time. What was it about this new female form that made all of them so emotional? But he was too sad to feel like a baby. Not to mention that society never judged _girls_ for crying, no matter how old they got, so he might as well.

"Oh, honey," Shiori said, her arms wrapped around him. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"I-I-I d-don't," sobbed Kurama.

"That came out wrong, I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't know about the relationship."

Kurama shook his head; he was _trying _to tell her that it was a friend breakup, but he couldn't pull himself together enough to explain, so he just let her think it was a romantic relationship for now. And did it matter, anyway? It just felt so comforting to be in the arms of the one person he cared for the most in the whole wide world—besides Hiei, that is, and that thought just made him cry even harder.

Once all his tears were finally shed (for now, anyway), Kurama sat up and took the box of tissues his mom passed him.

"If you want to talk, dear, I'm here to listen," she said.

"I thought we'd be together forever," Kurama said shakily. "I never pictured it ending."

"You never do," said Shiori. "That's what can make it hurt."

"But it was the _way _we fought," Kurama told her, looking down at his lap as she put her arm around his shoulders. "I said some really hurtful things I didn't mean."

"Like what?"

"That…that we didn't vow to spend the rest of our lives with each other," Kurama said, feeling tears in his eyes again, "and that we should see other people, and to leave."

"So who did the breaking up?" Shiori asked, looking confused.

"Both of us, I guess. But it was a mistake."

…

_For a long time, nobody wanted me. I was cast away from home, and even when I survived, it was like a burden, not someone to care for. You know…shunned. Look, it's Hiei, the trash nobody wants._

Hiei was not very deep in the woods; he was on the edge, the moon shining brightly behind him. Crimson eyes narrowed, surveying the city with distaste. What wouldn't he give to leave this awful world, to go back home? Hiei just didn't understand humans and the way they lived their lives; he didn't think he ever would. And because he was still feeling "culture shock," as some would put it, _he _was the one who was treated like a freak, sometimes by his own friends. But things were different in Makai, and it seemed like Kurama was the only one who got that. Feeling like an outsider all the time wasn't easy. Wise words he hadn't forgotten echoed throughout his head.

_Want and need are different…Even if you feel like you don't need friends, that doesn't mean you can't want them around. It's a nice feeling, isn't it? Being wanted?_

But now not even Kurama wanted Hiei. Undoubtedly, he was doing just fine with that human girl. Kurama had blown Hiei off for "someone special" he met at school. So what?

_If you can't accept the fact that someone just might love you unconditionally, that's not my problem_.

Well, that was the problem after all. Look what you got when you trusted anyone but yourself.

But over time, Hiei had thought he could trust Kurama. The first thing they did when they met was fight, that was true, and Kurama had been with a girl then, but he had still saved Hiei's life. It had been Hiei's intention to kill Kurama, but instead he had lost their fight…and woken up in Kurama's bedroom, having been healed by him. And to learn he was a fellow demon! Somehow, the world suddenly became a little less lonely.

It would be a long time before Hiei forgot the way they had worked together to defeat a common enemy. After that, Hiei said the reason he teamed up with Kurama was so that he didn't have to fight him. When he said that, he had been referring to a physical battle. So why did this kind of fight hurt so much more?

Maybe the two of them really were parting ways, and Hiei couldn't believe how much it stung. Worse, he was totally alone now. Even if he had been in a romantic relationship and broken up, or if (God forbid) something happened to his sister, or he cut ties with Yusuke and Kuwabara, or he lost all his powers, or they extended his parole, or they never changed back into their male bodies, Hiei still could have gone to Kurama for support, in all those situations. He never _needed_ to talk about it, because Kurama understood him without even having to ask how he felt. Kurama always knew what Hiei needed, even if Hiei didn't know it himself.

Whenever something bad happened, a best friend's job was to just be there. But what were you supposed to do when the person you'd normally turn to was the one causing the problem?

_I didn't ask you your name. I'll try to remember it._

_It's Kurama._

Hiei felt saltwater welling up in his eyes; and when he shut them, one tear fell, the stone landing in his hand. He closed his fist around it, and before he could get one more look at the tearstone, he pitched it as far away as he could. It appeared he would be sleeping in this tree tonight.

…

Kurama spent the rest of his night crying like a baby and looking through a scrapbook he had called _My Friend Hiei_, filled with pictures and souvenirs. They had been so close that there were memories everywhere. That very window, which Hiei had climbed in and out of so many times; this very bed, in which he slept for hours after Kurama saved his life; this very house and family, which Hiei used to enjoy so much, even if he never said it…

The next day, Tuesday, Kurama was almost tempted to stay home from school, and he was sure his mother would have allowed it, but he knew he couldn't interrupt his education. Before he went to school, Shiori gave him some tissues to keep in his book bag, and told him to soak his eyes in cold water so they wouldn't look all red and puffy. When he finally left the house, he almost slipped on something round and shiny sitting on the ground in front of the house.

It was a yellow tearstone.

Kurama bent down and picked it up, then stuck it in his book bag, feeling his eyes fill with hot tears all over again, even if his didn't materialize into tearstones. It was bad enough that he was upset, but the fact that he had managed to hurt Hiei enough to drive him to tears made it the worst of all.


	13. Guy Problems

This was one of Kurama's worst school days in a long time so far. Not only did his friend breakup with Hiei make him miserable, but it gave him a headache and it made his skin break out, and he had to use some of his mom's makeup before he left school, with her permission, of course.

Unfortunately, they were having a test in his first class of the day (Math), and he didn't think he could concentrate all that well. The numbers on the page just kind of swam in front of his eyes, and he realized he was reading the same problem over and over without understanding it at all. It didn't help that he was tired, because he had been up crying all night. It was really ridiculous, but then, the tearstone he found proved that Hiei had shed tears, too. Well, at least one, anyway.

_For the love of all things demonic! _How could he suddenly not remember what the hell a logarithm was? And for that matter, what was its opposite? Subtraction was the opposite of addition, and division was the opposite of multiplication, but…

"Time!" called the teacher, and Kurama stared down at his paper—he had only answered one of the questions, and he wasn't at all sure about the answer. But it was too late; the math teacher was going around collecting everyone's papers. She finally got to Kurama's desk, and when she picked up his test and saw that almost the whole thing was blank, she asked, "Is this your idea of a joke, Miss Minamino?"

"N-No," said Kurama in this high, squeaky sort of voice. Several of his classmates laughed, and he figured if he didn't die of heartbreak, maybe he would die of humiliation.

"Teacher, I think she's sick," someone was heard saying, and when Kurama looked, he saw that it was Aratani.

"What do you mean, Miss Fujisaki?" the teacher demanded.

"Flu," Aratani said quickly, hoisting Kurama up by the back of his uniform jacket. "Come on, Shuichi, I'll take you to the nurse, okay?"

But instead of taking Kurama to the nurse, Aratani gently guided him into the nearest girls' bathroom, where he sank onto the floor and burst into tears again. It was unbelievable. Aratani sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh, Shuichi, I'm so sorry," she said, sounding like she was about to bawl, too. "I didn't mean to come between you and that Hiei boy. I feel terrible."

Kurama wanted to tell her that she hadn't been the cause of this, even though if you thought about it, she kind of was. But that didn't mean he was blameless.

"I-I was horrible to him," Kurama told her, swallowing and wiping his eyes with his hand. "That's what makes it so awful. I hurt the feelings of—of someone I really care about."

And there he was, crying again. No longer was he like a leaky faucet; now he was like a faucet that had been left on for days and was now flooding the whole kitchen.

"I'm here for you, no matter what," Aratani was saying. "Even if I still feel like I caused this."

"You d-didn't."

"if you _ever_ need to talk, Shuichi, please call me," Aratani implored. "Please. It doesn't matter what time it is, day or night, you call."

"Thanks, Aratani," he said, leaning his head on her shoulder and sniffing. "You're such a good friend."

"Listen, maybe you can sleep over at my house tonight," Aratani suggested. "We could order pizza and eat ice cream, and maybe watch some movies and stuff. I _was_ supposed to hang out with Kaito today, but it's sisters before misters."

Kurama wanted to talk about something other than his problems with Hiei, so he asked, "How's it going between the two of you? Any better?"

"It's worse," she said sadly. "I don't want to sound dramatic, but I've fallen out of love with him. I don't even know if I loved him to _begin _with. I-I just want out, but I can't stand to hurt his feelings."

"But maybe it's time, Aratani," said Kurama. "Think about it: are you happy with him?"

"No," she admitted. "Not truly."

"Well, maybe he'd prefer to be with someone he _can _make happy," Kurama said. "It might hurt him now, but in time, he'll be thankful that you were honest with him."

"Should we find someone for him, then?" Aratani asked.

"It's not like looking for a new job before you quit your old one," Kurama replied, shaking his head. "And so, I'm afraid, he'll have to find a girl on his own. This is your decision, Aratani, but I think both of you need to head to greener pastures."

"Sure." Aratani sighed miserably. "I just wish I knew where I could find those greener pastures."

"They're out there, Aratani," Kurama said quietly. "Even if you can't see them."

…

All day long, Yusuke had been worried about his friends. Kurama had been so calm at the beginning of their predicament, but it seemed that he was slowly unraveling, and when your "mom friend" was the one falling apart, you knew you had problems. As for Hiei, well…Yusuke hadn't seen him after Kurama broke up with him, so to speak, but he didn't seem to have taken it well.

In fact, at this moment, Yusuke thought he had the _smallest _problems. Kurama was drawing in the male gaze even more than before, and now he was in a fight with Hiei, who had "girl problems," which was bad enough, but he also probably felt very rejected. And now Kuwabara was squirming around like he had a nest of red ants in his pants.

"What's wrong with _you?"_ Yusuke whispered.

"Ugh—nothing," Kuwabara grunted.

"Well, then could you sit still?" Yusuke demanded. "You're being distracting."

"Miss Urameshi!" shouted the teacher, banging her ruler on his desk. "Pay attention!"

"Augh!" said Yusuke. "I am!"

"One wrong move, girl," the teacher warned, and then Yusuke was even angrier, because he didn't want to be called _girl_.

…

Kurama was in a funk all morning. Aratani sat with him at lunch, and so did Kaito, so she told Kaito that she had to break their plans so she could comfort Kurama. Kaito seemed disappointed, but he said he understood.

When it came to gym class, Kurama felt even worse. How was he supposed to play dodgeball now? It was bad enough to have gym class right after lunch, when he felt unpleasantly bloated and sluggish because he hadn't digested his food yet, but his sadness took away any energy he had left.

"Maybe the nurse can sign a note to get you out of gym," Aratani suggested as they walked into the girls' locker room.

"And what am I supposed to tell her?" Kurama said back.

"Ooh! I know! Fake your period," said Chizuko, falling in step with them.

"That doesn't get you out of gym," Aratani told her.

"It does if you have a male coach," Chizuko argued. "It just gets too uncomfortable for him to ask any questions."

"Well, we have a female coach."

"But we're doing _coed_ dodgeball today!"

"So what?"

"Before we get into a heated debate," Kurama interrupted them, "I'm just going to be honest, and not use that suggestion. Thanks anyway, though, Chizuko."

"You're welcome," she said brightly. "I get a free pass out of gym, anyway, because of my injury."

"Maybe _you_ should try slipping on some ice, Shuichi," Aratani joked.

"Speaking of my injury, are you still going out for the cheerleading squad, Aratani?" Chizuko asked. "Because, you know, volunteering to take my place really meant a lot to me."

"Definitely." Aratani nodded.

"And you're going to attempt the Meiou Monster?" Kurama added, trying not to sound too faithless.

"Chizuko was going to do it," said Aratani. "Why can't I?"

"You haven't seen the tape," Chizuko told her. "Even I was going to do a sort of watered-down version. The _real_ version is crazy. You have to dodge these pile driver things and do tricks with the ribbon and catch your pom-poms in midair and flip yourself every which way and man, that girl could leap like a cat."

"So you're saying no cheerleader has ever attempted this routine and succeeded?" Kurama asked.

"That's right," said Chizuko. "There have been some serious injuries. Not even the cheerleading captain can do it, and she's been taking gymnastics since she was four."

"Well, I'm not going to let your rival win," Aratani told her. "You can count on me."

"I really appreciate it, girlfriend." Chizuko grinned, but then she kind of surprised Kurama by asking out of the blue, "Are you having guy problems, Shuichi?"

"Huh? Guy problems?"

"I mean, I told you I have a talent for reading people," Chizuko clarified, "and I can spot a breakup a mile away."

"You're good, I have to admit," said Kurama. "But I don't really want to talk about it."

"All men are assholes," Chizuko declared. Even if she and Aratani were friends again, she was still pretty obnoxious. "Whoever this guy is, you're better off without him."

"You shouldn't say things like that if you don't have all the information first," Aratani gently chided. "Shuichi still really likes this guy."

"Whatever," said Chizuko.

"I'm hanging out with her after school for some girl time," Aratani continued. "You can come, if you want."

"I thought you usually met up with Yu Kaito after school."

"Yes, but Shuichi needs me," said Aratani. "Besides, to be honest, I'm thinking of breaking up with him."

"You're _thinking _of it?" Chizuko asked. "I mean, you're not sure?"

"Well, I'm sure I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore, but I also don't want to hurt his feelings," Aratani explained.

"Oh, he'll be fine." Chizuko dismissed this with a wave of her hand. "Now he doesn't have to feel guilty about having a crush on you, Shuichi."

"W-What?" Aratani gasped. Chizuko looked sheepish.

"You…you didn't know?" she squeaked.

"No," Aratani said tearfully. "Was he cheating on me or something? Shuichi, you wouldn't do that, would you? Did he make a move on you? What happened?"

"Nothing like that!" Kurama said hurriedly. "It's just body language, you know? I think Chizuko's got this one right. It was the way he looked at me and acted around me, not really anything he said or did. Kaito would _never _cheat on you, Aratani, and I'm sure he loves you too. Besides, I'm kind of used to guys hitting on me."

"Well, this is good news, isn't it?" Chizuko said awkwardly. "Now you can dump him easier."

"I guess so," said Aratani. "Maybe I should just stick with my friends for now. Boys make things too complicated."

"They sure do." Chizuko nodded.

This was the first time Kurama had gym class since the male-female switch, since they didn't have gym on Mondays. Changing before gym had never been a lot of fun, but now the _girls_ were changing into their gym uniforms around him, and it felt so invasive. It was going to be even worse after gym class was over, since they were required to take showers, and the gym showers at Kurama's school didn't have any curtains or even stall dividers. That was bad enough in his regular body, but in this case, which would be worse—having to reveal his naked self to all the girls, or trying to avoid the discomfort of seeing them? Only time would tell.

Chizuko left to go to Study Hall, since she couldn't play dodgeball on her injured ankle, but Kurama and Aratani filed out to the gym room with the other girls. The boys were already waiting…

And so, Kurama realized with a shock, was Hiei.


	14. Play Dodgeball

"Hiei!" said Kurama, running over to where Hiei was sitting on the bleachers. "What are _you _doing here?!"

"Oh, I just wanted to see you in the ring again," Hiei replied with a mischievous sort of grin. Kurama noticed that he was wearing the boys' gym uniform, and he had replaced his regular headband with a matching sweatband.

"This isn't a battle," said Kurama. "I'm playing dodgeball."

"Throwing things at each other until one side is completely knocked out?" said Hiei. "It sounds like a tournament to me."

"Obviously you don't understand recreational sports," Kurama told him, arms crossed. "Oh wait, I forgot, killing things _is _kind of recreational to you, isn't it?"

"You should talk," said Hiei.

"Look, enough with the banter," Kurama cut him off. "Why are you really here?"

Hiei glowered at him for a minute, then looked down at his lap, hiding his expression from view.

"I don't know," he said finally, every word quiet but completely clear.

"That seems fair," said Kurama, because he knew that sorting through feelings and understanding them was not exactly Hiei's strong point, and it was wrong to force him to do so. "I appreciate you showing up anyway…as long as you came to cheer me on."

"Of course I did."

"Thank you," Kurama said, and stood up. "I'm going to go join the others."

"Wait," said Hiei jerkily. "Come back."

Kurama sat down again. "You have something else to say?"

"Here's what I'm thinking, Kurama," said Hiei, and he swallowed. "What I'm thinking…is that I don't _own _you, and I guess I was acting like I did. You're right that we can spend time with other people, and you don't have to tell me every time you want to do something. If you…if you'd rather spend time with her than me…I don't care."

But however Hiei tried to hide it, Kurama could tell that he _did _care, and it was just heartbreaking. Besides, he had to set the record straight.

"Hiei, look at me," he said gently.

Wordlessly, the fire demon looked up, his eyes now staring straight into Kurama's.

"Listen, if you feel half as bad as I do right now, you agree that however nice Aratani is…" Kurama sighed and lowered his voice, hoping she wouldn't overhear and take offense to his words. "I'm not about to break up our friendship because of a girl, or anything else. You mean too much to me for that, and I'm sorry for how I treated you yesterday. Maybe you don't care, but I do. I care about how you feel."

"It doesn't matter so much that you _care_ how I feel," said Hiei, looking down again. "It's…it's that you _understand _how I feel, without me having to say it. Why do you think Kuwabara annoys me so much? It's because he thinks the human way is always the best way. Here in Ningenkai, they all treat me like an outsider and a criminal, just because I'm different, but you don't."

"Well, technically, you _are _an outsider and a criminal," Kurama said jokingly. "I just don't mind."

"No, you understand," Hiei repeated. "Makai is different. The rules are different, life is different, and survival is the most important thing. We don't have the time or the space for all of humanity's foolish viewpoints." Hiei swallowed again, and kept talking. "But you _get _that. When I'm with you, that's the only time I really feel like I can be myself."

"Your imperfect self," Kurama agreed, nodding. "But I like your imperfections, because they're a part of who you are, and I love who you are."

As soon as Kurama said that, and saw the shocked look on Hiei's face, he couldn't help himself. He grabbed his friend and squeezed him, ignoring the protests, feeling tears leaking out of his eyes again, except this time they were happy.

"Ack! Hey! I wasn't consulted about this!" Hiei was yelling. "No hugs! I _mean _it."

"That's my Hiei," Kurama said fondly. "I missed you _so _much! Let's promise never to fight again, okay?"

"I'm fine with that," Hiei snapped, finally pulling himself out of Kurama's grasp and dusting himself off. "You're a scary bastard."

When Kurama finally walked back to Aratani, he saw that she was beaming.

"You're back with your life partner, then?" she joked.

"You could call him that," said Kurama with a grin.

…

Even though he would never admit it, Hiei was happy to be friends with Kurama again, too. Hiei always had an idea of how a physical battle between the two of them would go, but he had no idea how much emotional turmoil a "friend breakup" would cause him. Kurama was being unusually affectionate, but then, the two of them had been a double act ever since they met almost two years ago. The human girl wasn't worth breaking up their bond over. Nothing was.

Part of the reason Hiei had gone to Kurama's school was to patch things up with him, but he actually did want to watch him mop the floor with his human classmates. They would see! Hiei and Kurama really were best friends, so Hiei felt like he had the right to a front-row seat.

"Time to pick teams," the coach announced. "The captains today will be Enko Akamatsu and Hiro Nonaka."

Hiei watched in interest as two of Kurama's classmates—one male, one female—stepped forward. They both were tall, attractive, and athletic.

"Hey! Why didn't you make Shuichi the captain?!" Hiei demanded.

The gym teacher's head swiveled around to face Hiei. "Who the hell are you?"

"This is a new foreign exchange student," Kurama ad-libbed as he ran back over to the bleachers and gave Hiei a look that clearly read, _Roll with it_. "His name's Hiei, and my family's hosting him."

"Well, why isn't he playing dodgeball?!"

"They don't have dodgeball in his country."

"What country is that?"

"Uh…" Kurama rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I'm not really sure. The details are kind of hazy."

"What…country…are…you…from?" asked the coach, turning to Hiei.

"Makai," Hiei snapped. "And we speak Japanese there, so you don't need to speak to me like I just suffered a debilitating brain aneurysm."

Kurama let out a snort of laughter, which he quickly disguised as a cough.

"What are you doing, Miss Minamino, choking on a hairball?" barked the coach, turning to Kurama and glowering at him.

"Actually, Coach, it's impossible to cough while choking," Kurama told him. "In fact, if someone is coughing, it means they're _not _choking, so you don't have to—"

"I don't care!" Coach shouted. "And I _also _don't care if they don't have dodgeball in your country, Mr. Sassy, so get your butt over here and play!"

"Fine. Have it your way." Hiei walked over to stand next to Kurama.

"And before you get any funny ideas," Coach added, "you and Miss Minamino are NOT to be on the same team."

"Well, well." Kurama grinned. "I guess you _do_ have to fight me, Hiei."

"Bring it on," said Hiei, cracking his knuckles. "It will be down to the two of us in no time."

"Miss Akamatsu, you pick first," said Coach.

"I want Shuichi Minamino," she said instantly.

"Fine," Coach said as Kurama strode forward. "Mr. Nonaka, that means you get Hiei."

"That's not fair!" Hiro protested.

"Life isn't fair, kid, get used to it," Coach told him. "Miss Akamatsu, who is your next pick?"

Enko picked the next member of her team, and it went on like that, back and forth, until only one student was left—Aratani Fujisaki. Hiei wasn't surprised at all, considering what he knew of her abilities (or lack thereof). She ended up being on Kurama's team, which was lucky for her. Kurama smiled at her, but she looked terrified. Coach went over the rules of dodgeball, which seemed pretty simple. The most important rule, he said, was that whichever team had more players when the bell rang was the winner. Finally, it was time for the game to begin.

Coach pressed a button on a boom box to start energetic music, then he shouted, "Play dodgeball!"

The first thing Hiei noticed was that it was extremely easy to dodge the balls, and the second thing he noticed was that his team stunk, but Kurama's did, too. Kurama looked like he was holding back, as usual, but there didn't seem to be any specific strategy to figure out, so maybe he was just waiting for the end of the game, or he didn't want to seem much better than his teammates.

_Left_…_Right_…_Left…Up! _Balls were coming from every direction, but Hiei dodged them easily. Meanwhile, though, Kurama seemingly forgot himself and was getting into the game, taking out a lot of the students on Hiei's team. Hiei lobbed a dodgeball at him, but he dodged it. Hiei's team captain, Hiro, threw another, but Kurama caught that one, and he used it to block a ball thrown at Aratani. Enko grabbed it and threw it at Hiro, who just barely dodged.

The unathletic kids were taken out almost instantaneously. Hiei was kind of annoyed that Kurama kept protecting Aratani, because obviously she couldn't catch, dodge, _or _throw. It was only a matter of time until she was knocked out.

"Stop messing around and play, Shuichi!" Hiei called across the room, aiming a dodgeball at Kurama, but he dodged it again. "I like a challenge, you know!"

"Be careful what you wish for, Hiei," Kurama said back.

What was Kurama's game this time? Well, one thing Hiei noticed was that Kurama never caught any of the dodgeballs Hiei threw, just dodged them, which meant he was _purposely_ keeping Hiei in the game. Then, perhaps, they should stop throwing dodgeballs at each other for now and focus on taking out each other's team members?

Hiei pitched a dodgeball at Aratani. If he got this hit, Kurama wouldn't be able to protect her unless he caught the ball.

"Aratani, look out!" Kurama shouted, but it was too late. Hiei's well-placed dodgeball hit her right in the stomach and knocked her over. She got up to sit on the sidelines, wincing. Kurama glared at Hiei, who just rolled his eyes.

After the less "gifted" combatants got eliminated, the game got uglier. The team captains were chosen for a reason. Kurama was already holding a dodgeball when someone aimed another at him, forcing him to flip himself backwards on one hand. Hiei just dodged the balls using his speed, but it was Kurama who was pulling out his acrobatics, which were always exciting to watch.

Finally, it was down to Hiei, Kurama, and the team captains.

"Oof! With a rough blow from Hiei, the third-to-last member of Team Akamatsu has been knocked out!" Coach announced. "It's down to Shuichi Minamino, Hiei, and our two team captains! Which team will win? Only time will tell!"

Kurama nailed Hiro in the chest, putting him out of the game. Hiei got Enko in the leg, and she went to sit on the sidelines, too.

"AND IT'S ONE-ON-ONE!" Coach roared. He looked like he was quite enjoying himself. "Who will take home the gold today—foreign newcomer Hiei, or well-known Shuichi Minamino?"

"What gold?" Hiro said from the sidelines. "We don't get any gold."

"It's just for dramatic effect, Nonaka!" Coach shouted.

"Kill him, Shuichi!" Enko called.

"No mercy, Hiei!" added Hiro.

Hiei had the feeling he would beat Kurama. Speed was _his _thing. Surely, he could throw a dodgeball at Kurama before he saw it coming…But unfortunately, Kurama _did_ see it coming, and he dodged.

"Don't you remember the first thing you ever said to me?" Kurama asked. "You said, 'You're good at dodging.'"

"I _also _said you're a bastard who talks too much!"

The game seemed to go on for a long time. Koto, the commentator of the Dark Tournament, would have found it boring, since this was school, and nobody was allowed to get hurt. (Of course, Hiei was kind of bored by that, too.) Just then, Hiei got a message from Kurama: telepathic communication.

Kurama: _This is just going to end in a stalemate, you know_.

Hiei: _How soon until the bell rings?_

Kurama: _I don't know. I haven't been keeping track._

Hiei: _So what do you want to do, then?_

Kurama: _Either we wait for the bell to ring, or one of us throws the game._

Hiei: _Obviously, you're bored, too_.

Kurama: _Which shall it be?_

"Yah!" Hiei threw his dodgeball right at Kurama, who dodged it with a double-back handspring.

"That answers that question," said Kurama. "Hiei, catch!"

"I'm not letting you throw the game, Shuichi!" Hiei said back, easily dodging the ball.

"All right, this is enough!" Coach shouted, barging in. "New rule! _I'm _going to throw the dodgeball, and whichever one of you gets hit first loses!"

"Very well!" Kurama stopped, letting go of the dodgeball he was holding, and Hiei did the same. Kurama handed his dodgeball to the coach, looking relieved. Coach lifted up his arm to throw—just as the bell rang.

"AND THE BELL RINGS!" Coach hollered. "TEAM AKAMATSU AND TEAM NONAKA ARE TIED!"

All the students booed and groaned. Obviously, they wanted to see _someone _win.

"Don't worry, we'll continue this game tomorrow," Coach said, his voice sounding a little hoarse from all that shouting he had been doing. "Okay, kids, hit the showers!"

Hiei turned to the boys' locker room, but Kurama grabbed his shoulder when nobody was listening.

"You don't want to go in there, Hiei," he warned. "Those showers don't have any curtains or wall dividers. They're all out in the open."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Hiei whispered, feeling his stomach jump. "I'm the only one of us who can still pass himself off as male. I don't want anyone to find out the truth."

"Don't worry," said Kurama. "Just go back to my house for now. Besides, when was the last time you—"

"Miss Minamino!" Coach interrupted. "I said to hit the showers! You too, Hiei."

"I will, but Hiei can't," said Kurama.

"Why not?!"

"I've got a Makai ritual," Hiei answered, thinking on his feet.

"What is it, a human sacrifice?" Coach joked.

"That depends," Hiei said darkly. "Are you volunteering?"

"Hiei!" said Kurama, and then, "Don't worry, Coach, he's just kidding…But yes, Hiei, you had better get started on that ritual of yours."

"Yes, good game," Hiei said, relieved, and he was about to leave the gym when three girls approached him and Kurama. One of them was Kurama's former team captain, Enko, and the other two were ones Hiei didn't recognize, although Kurama did. Two of the girls, including Enko, were looking excited, while the third, the smallest, looked hopeful.

"Shuichi," Enko said. "We're all on the cheerleading squad, as you know…"

"And those were some amazing, physics-defying moves we saw when you were playing dodgeball," said the second girl. "Where'd you learn to do all that?"

"Practice," said Kurama, shrugging.

"Anyway, if the Captain approves of it, we were hoping you could fill Chizuko's place on the squad, since she's injured," said the short girl, all in a rush.

"I thought Aratani Fujisaki was filling in for her," Kurama said uncomfortably.

"Let's be realistic, Shuichi," Enko said flatly. "We're not going to win the competition with that geek filling in for Chizuko. She's got two left feet. We'll be laughed right out of the stadium."

"Does it really matter?" Kurama asked, trying to get out of it. "There will be other competitions."

"Not necessarily," said the second girl. "It's really hard to even be a contestant. We just barely made it. And if we don't win, we don't get the Grand Prize, which is really important."

"How much money is it?" said Kurama.

"It's not money," said the smallest girl, her smile fading. "It's for charity."

"Charity?"

"Each school gets to choose a place to donate—orphanages, animal shelters, homeless people, stuff like that—and the committee running the competition will donate a large amount of money to the winning school's charity," Enko explained. "We chose the hospital downtown, because Takara's little sister is in there." She pointed to the smallest girl.

"She's really sick, Shuichi," Takara said sadly. "You're the only one who can help us out."

"Oh…" Kurama breathed heavily out his nose and shut his eyes, then opened them. "I can't possibly say no, Takara. When's the next practice?"

"Today after school in the gym, so don't be late," said Enko, as Takara hugged Kurama extremely tight in thanks. Hiei, for his part, saw that decision coming. Even though Kurama hadn't told any of his classmates about his mom being sick, the hospital for their chosen charity was the exact same one Shiori had been in.

"I'll be right on time," Kurama promised.

…

Hiei left right after gym class, and for the rest of the day, Kurama couldn't believe what had just happened. It was all he could think about. Of course, he could relate to the small girl, because she was in a very similar situation to his, except she didn't have a demon mirror to help her out. But then, how hard could it be? And he didn't have to _stay _on the squad. All he had to do was help them win the competition.

Once school was finally over, Kurama wasted no time in changing back into his gym uniform and heading out to the gym, where the cheerleaders had their practice. Hiei was in the bleachers to support him, and so was Aratani.

"I hope you're not angry about this, Aratani," said Kurama. "They asked me, and I couldn't really say no."

"Don't worry," Aratani said. "I'm sure you'll be better than I ever could be. Besides, this way I have more time to spend on my homework."

Just then, the cheerleading captain, a senior named Ichika, walked into the gym, followed by the rest of the cheerleading squad. Takara waved at Kurama, but Hanako looked disgusted.

"What's this I hear about Shuichi Minamino joining the cheerleading squad?" she crowed. "I thought you were too good for us, Minamino."

"I'm not joining the cheerleading squad at all," said Kurama. "I'm just going to participate in the competition this Saturday."

"I'll be the judge of that, thank you," Ichika said impatiently. "Shuichi? What makes you think you can be a cheerleader?"

"You should have seen her in gym class," said Enko. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Let's see if she can do it for me, then," Ichika replied. "Do you have a routine you'd like to do?"

"Indeed," said Kurama. "I understand there's a video you show every cheerleader?"

"No," Ichika breathed. "You don't mean…?"

"That's right," Kurama told her. "I'd like to attempt the Meiou Monster."


	15. The Meiou Monster

"That's ridiculous," said Ichika. "You've _got_ to be kidding me, Shuichi."

"No, I'm not," said Kurama, folding his arms behind his back and looking at all the cheerleaders sitting in front of him, with Hiei and Aratani waiting for him in the bleachers. "May I at least _watch _the tape?"

"Just let Shuichi watch it, Ichika," Tanaka begged. "This could be our only chance at winning the competition."

"Well…okay," Ichika said reluctantly, getting up to retrieve the tape from the locker room. "Just don't expect me to visit you in the hospital when you break every bone in your body."

Kurama didn't know if she was exaggerating or if he actually should be concerned by this, but he didn't have too much time to ponder it, because Ichika wasted no time in bringing back the tape, along with a portable TV so they could watch it, and a boom box.

"This video is set to the same music I'm going to play out of the boom box," she explained. "The song wasn't around back when Miss Legendary made the tape, but it fit really well with the routine, so our school edited it in about ten years ago."

"Fine," said Kurama, thinking this was good news, because the music might help him memorize the routine easier, if it was truly that coordinated. As the head cheerleader inserted the tape, he sat down to watch with the others.

Ichika played the tape, and Kurama did have to admit that the Meiou Monster seemed pretty complicated. The whole time he was watching it, his superior brain was rushing to memorize the routine. Just as he expected, the music helped him along. There was also the matter of observing everything he would need, all around him—the rope, the rings, the balance beam, the pom-poms, the giant metal hoops that hung from the ceiling…Kurama had been wondering what those were there for, and now he knew: In the tape, the girl was dodging them.

Once the tape was over, Ichika narrowed her eyes at Kurama. "Do you still think you can do it?"

"Yes," said Kurama, and she actually looked surprised. "I just need to watch it one more time."

So he did, and once it was over, everyone gaped as Kurama grabbed the pom-poms and set both feet squarely on the ground.

"I'm ready," he said.

Ichika, looking a little pale, pressed the play button on the boom box, starting a spunky, energetic song—the same one from the video. It was time.

…

Hiei seemed to be the only one in the entire gym who had complete confidence that Kurama could do the Meiou Monster. It would have been impossible to see the TV from where he was sitting on the bleachers, but he just used his Jagan eye to watch long-distance, so that wasn't an issue. Why did they all think Kurama wouldn't be able to do it? Well, every time someone doubted or underestimated Kurama, they always ended up either really thankful, or really regretting it, depending on whether they were fighting with him or against him. So the cheerleaders would just have to wait until he was finished with the routine.

It started off with fairly basic cheerleading moves, or at least what Hiei knew of them. It was a solo routine, so none of the other cheerleaders were interrupting. But as the song went on, things got more complicated. By the time the first verse of the song was over, Kurama had displayed all kinds of fancy gymnastics-types moves—flips, spins, handsprings—all the ones that were in the video, and more.

There was one point in the video where he had to throw the pom-poms up and catch them again in time to the music, and if his timing had been off one bit, or he hadn't had good depth perception and aim, he wouldn't have been able to do it. After that, there were all kinds of jumps, with the hoops, the balance beam, and jumping straight up in the air, all in time to the music. Kurama could jump higher than the girl in the video, and he was more flexible. It seemed like he was actually adding his own personal flair to the routine.

This was especially well-demonstrated when it came to dodging those hoops that were hanging from the ceiling, for some reason. Unlike the girl in the video (who just dodged them), he used a few more backflips, and landed on his feet. Then it was time for some more tricks with the pom-poms, and then it was time for the rope. Hiei was _especially _looking forward to this.

…

When the music prompted him to, Kurama tossed his pom-poms aside and grabbed the rope with his right hand, prepared to follow what he had seen the girl doing in the video. Always in time to the song, he started the rope part of the routine, and what did you know…

The skills were transferrable!

Kurama decided that this would be the best part, and that he could (and would) do a lot more than the girl in the video. Just as he had done thousands of times before, he lifted the rope above his head, spinning himself in an elegant circle. It wasn't exactly the same without all the rose petals swirling around him, but it was similar enough, and although he knew he couldn't waste too much time or deviate too much from the routine, he enjoyed himself showing off the tricks he could do with his signature move.

_Done! _Kurama was almost to the grand finale of the video, and he had to think of something special to really make this impressive…but what? There were some more basic flips and things coming up, but after that, he was supposed to throw his pom-poms in the air, jump from the high beam onto a giant foam block, catch the pom-poms, then jump down again, executing a perfect landing. After that, the song would be over, and so would the routine.

During one of his handsprings backwards, he saw it out of the corner of his eye—the rope! If he could pull it off…

Once the music called for the jump up to the high beam, he tossed his pom-poms into the air like he was supposed to, but instead of jumping, he grabbed the rope again and flung it like a grappling hook so that it secured surely onto the high beam. Then, keeping himself coordinated, but with his eyes on the midair pom-poms, he used the rope's hold on the high beam to flip himself over onto the foam block, and—_yes!_—he caught the pom-poms just in time. As the last line of the song played, he flipped himself over onto the ground again, landing down on one knee with both hands out at his sides, still holding the pom-poms.

"How did I do?" Kurama asked, panting slightly, as the song finished, then standing up straight.

For the first time that whole afternoon, Ichika was speechless. Her mouth was just opening and closing again, like a fish. Hanako looked horrified; Tanaka was beaming. Hiei and Aratani had lost control of themselves completely, jumping up and down in the bleachers as they clapped and cheered and whistled.

"Never, in all my years of gymnastics and cheerleading…" Ichika had finally found her voice again. "Are my eyes really correct? How did you _do _that?"

"Well, to be honest, it looks to me like that girl just took every move she knew how to do and compiled it into one long solo routine," said Kurama with a shrug.

"Hmm…you're probably right," said Ichika. "But anyway, congratulations! You're on the team! If you do that well in the competition, there's no way we can't win. Right, girls?"

All the cheerleaders looked enthusiastic, except Hanako.

"Shuichi, you seem to be a fast learner," Ichika continued. "Do you think you can learn all our routines before the big competition on Saturday, like you learned the moves in the video? It's important that you do."

"Yes, I can do that," said Kurama, smiling.

"Great," Ichika replied. Suddenly businesslike, she ushered Hiei and Aratani out of the gym with a wave of her hand. "All right, time for the cheerleaders to practice like they've never practiced before. Go home, you two."

"I'm going to go hang out with Yu Kaito," said Aratani. "See you tomorrow, Shuichi."

Kurama knew that _go hang out_ actually probably meant _break up _in this case, but he didn't say anything about it, just nodded and smiled.

"I'll tell the other two to meet at your house, Kurama," Hiei called. "We'll wait for you there."

…

It was a relief for Yusuke to finally finish school for the day, because he still wasn't feeling too well. Today he mostly had a stomachache, and he still found himself in the bathroom more than usual, but his head hurt, too. As he and Kuwabara were leaving school that day, Hiei jumped out of a tree and blocked their path.

"Don't _do _that!" Kuwabara shouted, startled.

"Kurama wants you two to meet him at his house," Hiei said shortly. "So come on."

"I see." Yusuke was grinning. "So the power couple's back together again, huh? I knew you two couldn't stay apart."

"Hn," said Hiei, and jumped back up into the treetops. Yusuke rolled his eyes at him and changed course for Kurama's house. By the time they arrived, of course, Hiei was already there.

"So can you update us on what's going on?" Yusuke asked, looking around as he stepped into the living room. "Where's Kurama?"

"It's something he's doing for his school," Hiei said dismissively. "Cheerleading."

"What? _Cheerleading?" _said Yusuke in disbelief, and he and Kuwabara burst out laughing.

"That's, like, the girliest sport ever!" said Kuwabara.

"Well, you had better not laugh at him when he comes back," Hiei warned, "or you'll have me to deal with."

"Okay, but do you know why he did it?" said Yusuke. "I mean, did he just walk up to you and say, 'I'm going out for the cheerleading squad'?"

"It's for a competition," said Hiei. "If Kurama's school wins, the committee in charge of the competition will donate money towards whatever charity the school picks, and their charity is the same hospital Kurama's mother was in when she was sick."

"Oh," said Yusuke. Suddenly it didn't seem so funny anymore. "Anyway, there's got to be something we can do while we wait. Hey, Hiei, do you have board games in Demon World?"

"Do we have _what?"_

"Board games," Yusuke repeated. "Oh, and puzzles. I'll bet they're in the basement."

So all three of them trooped down into the basement to see what they could do until Kurama arrived.

"Ha! Home movies," said Yusuke, going over to the basement TV, where there was a stack of tapes all neatly organized. "Which shall it be, 'Shuichi's Third-Grade Play' or 'Shuichi's Junior High School Dance Lessons'?"

"Remember our elementary school play?" said Kuwabara. "The one about dental hygiene, where I was floss?"

"And you wanted to be Mr. Tooth Decay, but that role was reserved for kids who could actually remember their lines," said Yusuke, rolling his eyes.

"Well, _all_ the boys wanted to be Mr. Tooth Decay," said Kuwabara defensively.

"Here's the 'memory box' Kurama's mom put together for him," said Yusuke. "I wonder what kind of stuff is in here?"

"Hey, look!" Kuwabara shouted excitedly, picking something up off the floor. "It's that puzzle I got for Kurama last summer!"

"You got him a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of a litter of kittens?" said Yusuke. "No wonder he didn't open it."

"I remember when I used to play puzzle as a kid," Kuwabara reminisced. "Whenever I couldn't fit the pieces together, I just used glue on them. One time, Eikitchi walked across the table and got glue all over her little paws."

"What's this?" said Hiei, picking up one of the board games on the floor.

"It's chess—Kurama's favorite board game," said Yusuke. "I don't know how to play it. Come on, Kuwabara, want to teach Hiei how to play Monopoly?"

"I'm pretty sure we could finish by evening," Kuwabara was saying, and Yusuke thought he was talking about Monopoly until he saw that his friend was still staring at the kitten puzzle. "There would be one corner for each of us, and we could take turns filling in the middle, and…"

"Would you forget the kittens already?" Yusuke said impatiently, swiping the puzzle from him. "You know, sometimes you really worry me."

"Fine, then, we can play Monopoly," said Kuwabara reluctantly. "Let's go upstairs."

They spent the rest of their time waiting for Kurama to come home teaching Hiei the rules of Monopoly, then playing the game. Yusuke could tell Hiei was beginning to enjoy it, and he was actually pretty good at it. After about two hours, the front door slammed and Kurama walked into the living room, bringing a strong smell of body odor in with him. His hair was tied in a ponytail, and he was looking happy, but also extremely sweaty. Even though practice was over, he was still wearing his gym uniform.

"How was cheer practice, Kurama?" Hiei asked in greeting.

"Oh, it was great," Kurama said enthusiastically. "That's the best workout I've had since the Dark Tournament."

"Yeah, I can tell," said Yusuke, pinching his nose. "Why didn't you take a shower at school?"

"Because the showers at my school don't have any curtains or stall dividers on them," said Kurama, setting his school bag down on the ground and taking off his gym shoes.

"What?" Yusuke yelped. "Like prison or something?"

"Well, not exactly, but I like my privacy when it comes to these things," said Kurama. "I'm not a fan of public showers."

"Just remember, don't drop the soap," said Yusuke, smirking.

"Look, Yusuke, if you can't say anything appropriate, don't say anything at all," Kurama scolded. "Besides, I'm in the girls' locker room now, so that doesn't really apply, does it?"

"I guess not," said Yusuke. "But that does sound good…being surrounded by all those naked girls."

"I'm going upstairs to take a shower," Kurama snapped. And without another word to the group, he left.

…

"Ha! Beachfront property!" Hiei said triumphantly. "Next time, Yusuke, I think I'll buy a few of your hotels."

"Is this game over yet?" Kuwabara complained. "It's been the same since we started."

"Aww, is someone a little afraid of going bankrupt?" Hiei taunted.

"We've created a monster," Yusuke groaned.

Hiei was enjoying the human game, Monopoly, more than he'd expected. All he had to do was bankrupt Yusuke and Kuwabara before they bankrupted him. Just as he was drawing a chance card, Kurama came downstairs. His hair was still wet from his shower, though it was combed, and he was dressed seriously down—just a loose T-shirt, sweatpants, and pink fuzzy socks. In fact, he might not even have been wearing a bra, though Hiei wasn't planning on investigating. Now that the concealer he'd been wearing had been washed off, his skin also looked worse than usual.

"Jeez, Kurama, you didn't have to dress up like that for us," said Yusuke sarcastically. "Those must be your finest sweatpants."

"Ichika worked us hard today," Kurama said by way of explanation. "I'm really sore. Plus, I think I'm gaining weight. My jeans felt kind of tight around the waistline when I tried to put them on."

"Have you changed your lifestyle in any way?" asked Yusuke.

"Not really," said Kurama. "I don't know, maybe in this form I just have more fat. Or it's differently dispersed. But it seems to have gotten worse."

"I'm sure you're just imagining it," said Hiei. "You don't look much different to me."

"_Much _different?" said Kurama, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, I'm going to be honest, your skin is a little bad," Hiei pointed out. "Nobody could tell when you were wearing the coverup, though."

"I'm not going to pretend I didn't notice it, too. I think it's stress." Kurama sighed. "Anyway…you're playing Monopoly?"

"Yes, and I'm _definitely _winning," Hiei replied.

"So I see, but I suppose it's a little late for me to join in," Kurama observed.

"Yeah, it is," Yusuke agreed, staring down at the Monopoly board, where his funds were running low. "Hey, do you guys want to catch a movie on Thursday? There's this really great horror movie debut."

"I can't," said Kuwabara. "I have to go to the doctor that day."

"What are you going to the doctor for?" Yusuke asked.

"Hmm, well…it's a girl thing," Kuwabara told him, suddenly looking a little embarrassed. "I have to go to the women's doctor."

"You know, you could have just said 'checkup' or something," Hiei snapped. "Besides, you don't need to go to the doctor for that. It's normal."

"It's _not _that. I talked to Shizuru about it, and she says I should get it checked out in case I have an infection."

"TMI, dude," said Yusuke.

"Again, we don't need to hear all the details," Hiei added.

"But you asked!" Kuwabara protested. "And I _had_ to tell you, or it would be lying."

"Right," said Kurama sardonically. "Hiei's kill count is probably in the thousands, but he draws the line at lying."

"Well, Shizuru is a _real _girl, so if she says you have a problem, you probably do," said Yusuke. "She's helped us out a lot so far."

"Because she's the only one who can tell the difference," said Kurama. "Besides Botan, that is."

"You know, speaking of, that wasn't very nice of her, what she did in the lingerie shop," Yusuke said, remembering. "Pretending she didn't know what was going on, either, instead of trying to help us out of the situation."

"That's funny, I don't remember you being conscious," Kurama joked. "Just sort of in shock."

"Well, not because of Botan," Yusuke said angrily. "Because Keiko was there, and she was buying that lacy black thing." He paused. "You know, maybe _that's _what's happening to you, Kuwabara. You're not infected, you're just, well…But then, how do we know if _that's _normal?"

"We don't, I guess," said Kuwabara. "But anyway, that's not what's happening to me."

"Hmm. You could always ask the doctor for me," said Yusuke.

"Better yet, why not make an appointment yourself, where you can ask all your questions?" Kurama suggested.

"Because I'm not talking to _anyone _about that. Not even a doctor."

"Well, I think it's a good idea to do a checkup," said Kurama. "I'll see if I can schedule one too with Mom's doctor. If you have any questions, I can ask for you."

"Go right ahead," said Yusuke, looking depressed, "but I'd have to give you a list."


	16. Invitation

Yusuke must have been very embarrassed about the questions he had, because instead of asking, he just wrote them all down on a piece of paper. His excuse was that he didn't think Kurama would be able to remember them all, but of course that was ridiculous.

"Thank you," Kurama said, as Yusuke sat back down on the couch. "Hiei, do you have anything to add?"

"Whatever I wanted to know, it's probably on that novel Yusuke just handed you," Hiei replied. At the moment, he couldn't think of anything, anyway.

"Very well." Kurama folded up the piece of paper and stuck it in his pocket.

Yusuke and Kuwabara went home shortly after that, but Hiei was planning on staying overnight, so he and Kurama spent the rest of the afternoon watching a teen romance movie (ironically, of course), and making comments about how stupid it was. They would be lying, though, if they were to say they didn't get a little choked up at the ending.

"That was so sweet," said Kurama, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and hugging Hiei. "I-I just _knew _things would work out all right."

"That's because it's a movie, and get off me," said Hiei, but there was no hiding the yellow tearstones he'd left on the floor.

"More popcorn, girls?" said Shiori, stepping into the living room.

"No thanks, Mom," said Kurama. "The movie's over."

"Let me know if you two are hungry for dinner," she said.

"You should be asking her about that doctor's appointment, if you're going to go," Hiei told him.

"Good idea…" Kurama got to his feet and headed for the kitchen. "Hey, Mom? Can I ask you something?"

Hiei waited in the living room while Kurama went to go talk to his mom. It was always nice staying over at Kurama's house, and since Hiei didn't have to go to school, he could do it as much as he wanted. On Friday and Saturday nights, they could all four have sleepovers, either at Kuwabara's house or Kurama's.

There was a winter rain that night, and rain was a relaxing sound when it was bedtime.

"So did you make an appointment?" asked Hiei.

"Yes, they managed to squeeze me in tomorrow after cheerleading practice."

"Are you nervous?"

"Why should I be nervous?"

"Because you don't know what they're going to do."

"My mom says it isn't that bad," Kurama replied, "and she said now that I'm sixteen I should be going there anyway. See, I _told _you it was a good idea to just get a checkup now and then."

"I still don't need to hear all the details," said Hiei. "I said this yesterday at the mall, remember? Back when we were our regular selves, can you name even _one _time we discussed our masculine regions?"

"Did you just say _masculine regions?" _said Kurama, laughing.

"Well, you know what I mean. Name one time we discussed them."

"Okay, I can't," Kurama admitted. "But now, a lot of sensations are new and strange, so it helps to talk about them. Didn't you feel better after talking to Shizuru on Sunday?"

True, talking to someone who had "been there" was actually very helpful, but it didn't seem quite the same, somehow.

"Yeah, but I meant to _each other_," Hiei said finally. "So that doesn't count."

"Hmm," said Kurama doubtfully. "Well, anyway, we had better get to bed. I have a big day tomorrow."

…

When Kurama got to school that morning, the first thing he noticed was Aratani sitting outside the building on a bench, looking miserable. Chizuko was there, too, with one arm around her friend. Kurama approached them warily.

"H-Hi, Shuichi," said Aratani, her bottom lip trembling.

"I think I can guess what this is all about," said Kurama, sitting next to Aratani on the bench. "You broke up with Yu Kaito, didn't you?"

"Yes," Aratani told him tearfully. "And he hasn't even shown up for class today!"

Kurama and Chizuko exchanged concerned looks. If someone like Kaito couldn't come to school, you _knew _things were bad.

"But you still haven't told me," said Chizuko. "What _happened? _I mean, what did you say?"

"I-I just…I went to his house, and h-he looked so happy to see me…" It seemed that Aratani could barely get her words out. "I-I told him we needed to t-talk, and he just…"

"You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to," Kurama reassured her.

"Shut up, Shuichi, _I _want to hear!" said Chizuko.

"It was awful," said Aratani, and she burst into tears. "I-I told h-h-him he was a n-nice guy and I r-really liked him…but we should just b-be friends."

"Oh, no," Kurama muttered. "I can't imagine he took _that _well."

"I told him it might hurt him now, but in time, he'd realize it was for the best," Aratani choked. "And he got down on his knees and _begged _for me to never leave him, and he said he loved me and that he would change whatever it was about him that I didn't like, if only I stayed."

"It's unbelievable how low guys will stoop to impress us girls," said Chizuko in disgust. "I mean, don't they have any dignity?"

"Kaito didn't," said Aratani sadly. "I told him that he shouldn't have to change himself and that he should be dating someone who loves him for who he is, and since I'm not that person, it's a sign we shouldn't be a couple."

"It sounds like you gave him some very sage advice," Kurama told her. "Maybe he can use it in his next relationship."

"If he has one," Chizuko pointed out. "Let's face it, Yu Kaito is not exactly the cutest guy in our school."

"Guys should be more than cute, Chizuko," Aratani said firmly. "Kaito was really smart and nice, but I only liked him in a friendly way. I need something more, something different, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't know who I want." Then she started to cry again. "I guess I'll just have to grow old with my fox."

"Y-Your _what?!" _said Kurama in shock.

"I don't really like cats, so I couldn't be an old crazy cat lady," she explained tremulously. "But I told you, foxes are my favorite animal, and I think cuddling up with one before a fire would make me less lonely in my old age."

"Why _do _you like foxes so much?" Kurama couldn't help asking.

"They're super smart, really nice, and totally, completely adorable," she gushed. "I love their bushy tails and pointy ears, too. In fact, I'm feeling happier already just thinking about them."

"You know what we need to do, girlfriend?" said Chizuko, slapping Aratani's knee. "We need a girls' night out on the town. You can come too, Shuichi, if you want."

"What did you have in mind, Chizuko?" Knowing her, it could be anything.

"Well, my college-age neighbor across the street is home for the winter holidays, and I heard her say she's throwing a _huge _party," Chizuko said mischievously. "If we crash the party and pretend we're college students, too, we can make out with a bunch of hot college guys."

"But what if they figure out we're in high school?" said Kurama.

"Oh, you could pass for a college girl, Shuichi," said Chizuko matter-of-factly. "Most girls our age would kill for boobs like yours."

"Including me," said Aratani, which made things completely uncomfortable. "I mean, I wouldn't _literally _kill anyone, but I would really like big breasts."

"Just make sure you wax tonight, hon," said Chizuko, elbowing Aratani, who blushed red at her friend's words.

"Chizuko!" she shrieked. "I'm not going to be doing anything inappropriate!"

"Inappropriate?" Chizuko snorted. "Get real. What are you, my grandma?"

"Well, you're a virgin, too, aren't you?" said Aratani.

"I'll have you know I reached third base," Chizuko bragged.

"To a guy, or he did it to you?"

"Both."

"I think I've got the gist of it, you two," Kurama cut in. "Maybe we should talk about something else."

"Yeah, like whether we'll be going to the party," said Chizuko, raising her perfectly-shaped eyebrows. "It's Saturday night."

"Now that I'm not with Kaito anymore, I'm free Saturday night," Aratani told her. "I don't usually do things like this, but I need a break."

"Fine, then, count me in," said Kurama, shrugging. "But do you think I could bring my friends who don't go to this school? I'm sure they'd be angry if I went to a college party and didn't invite them."

"I'll bet you want to bring that Hiei boy," Aratani teased.

"O-_ho!" _Chizuko was grinning. "So you're in a relationship, Shuichi!"

"Why does everyone _think _that?" said Kurama, but Chizuko only smirked.


	17. Graduation

By the time Biology class rolled around, Kurama was wondering if he'd eaten something funny for breakfast that morning, because his stomach kind of hurt. And in this weather, it was seriously annoying that they had to wear these short skirts with nothing but panties on underneath. It was actually a relief to put on his lab coat when he walked into class.

"Today, class, we'll be starting our anatomy unit," the teacher declared. "Please keep your lab coats on, as we're going to get to the dissecting today if we have time."

_Yuck! _Aratani looked at Kurama and jokingly stuck her tongue out.

"Don't tell me you're going to make _me _do all the dissecting," Kurama teased.

"Someone has to," she said, giggling. "But you'd think the teacher would be angry if we stained our nice white lab coats."

"I think he should just let us wear our uniforms," said Kurama. "They're red, so any stains will blend in."

"Oh, don't be gross, Shuichi," Aratani told him, grinning. "Come on, at least when we're lab partners we get to sit next to each other."

That was true, and Kurama was glad for it. Each lab table had two groups (four students total), and Kurama's was at the back of the room. That wasn't so good, because it wasn't as easy to see the teacher, but he could deal with it.

Their teacher placed a picture of a frog on the easel, told his students to open their science books, and started discussing the frog's anatomy, but Kurama wasn't really listening. What he was thinking about was that party. In that teen romance he watched with Hiei last night on their sleepover, the main character went to a high school party, and it was _really _wild. Was that just movie star baloney, or was it really going to be like that? And it wasn't even a high school party. It was a _college _party, which could be a whole new level.

In addition to that, what was he going to do about Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei? Kurama may have looked like a college student, but Yusuke and Kuwabara looked their ages, and Hiei looked like he was in elementary school, especially now that his voice was higher-pitched. Kurama was pretty sure his "my parents are making me babysit" excuse wouldn't fly at a college party.

One thought led to another and soon Kurama was reliving yesterday's gym class, with Hiei and the coach having a go at each other. When he remembered the coach asking if Hiei needed to do a human sacrifice, he couldn't help but laugh to himself, since Hiei hadn't even realized at first that it was a joke.

"Something funny, Miss Minamino?" said the teacher.

"No, sir," said Kurama quickly. But apparently he'd laughed a little _too _hard, because it felt, to be frank and honest, like he'd wet himself a little. Weird, but at least nobody would notice.

"These are the toes, which as you can see are webbed," the teacher was saying. "And these are the ears. Did you know that you can tell the difference between a male frog and a female frog by its ears?"

Kurama hadn't known that, actually, but at the moment he didn't care, either, because he was too busy wondering what was happening to him personally. What _was _this? It felt like…well, nothing was happening now. Nothing was wrong except a rather unseemly sticky feeling. So he decided to just focus on the frogs.

"Here are all the fingers, also known as digits," the teacher droned on. And it wasn't until another sort of warm gush "down there" that it became apparent what was _really_ going on.

_Ack! _Kurama put his hand over his mouth to muffle the gasp. Why was this happening at _school_, of all places?And on the day he'd have to disrobe at the doctor, too! Well, there was no controlling that, but he reminded himself that lunch was not too far off, and during the lunch hour he could go to the office and call his mom.

But then he realized that before lunchtime he had History class and then ESL, both classes that involved a _lot_ of sitting. With a chill, he thought of what could happen if he sat in one place for too long. And even then, he was still stuck in Biology, in a chair. What if he got blood all over the seat? Worse yet, what if it got on his white lab coat? Considering that all he was wearing underneath it was a pair of panties and a short skirt…well, it stood to reason.

_Maybe I can just reach behind me and check_, Kurama thought. Ugh. This felt a lot like wetting his pants, only a thousand times worse. Plus, it was constantly happening, over and over again. Sure enough…his skirt had been riding up on the seat without him even noticing, which meant his lab coat had taken the full force of this sudden onslaught. It was soaked through. Hiei was right; it felt like he had been sitting on a rainy bench, except at least Hiei had been wearing all black, and he had that scarf handy. There was no way Kurama could ask to go to the bathroom without everyone getting a real good look at him. There was nothing else he could do. Unless…

_SOS! Having girl problems_, Kurama scribbled on a piece of paper, and let it land on Aratani's desk. When she got the note, he watched her read it, her brown eyes widening in surprise behind her square glasses. Then she wrote a note back.

_Just ask to go to the bathroom_.

This would sure be a good time to use telepathic communication, but of course Aratani couldn't do that.

_I can't get up_. _Total mess_, Kurama wrote.

_Just do it_, said the note he got back. _I'll cause a diversion_.

Kurama was considering it, feeling Aratani's gaze on him, when he heard something that snapped him out of his conversation.

"Miss Minamino?" came the teacher's voice.

"Yes, sir." It came out quickly, more like a statement than the usual inquisitive response. The hint of worry in his voice was a bit more conspicuous than he would have liked.

"Would you come up to the board and label the nictitating and tympanic membranes on this frog diagram, please?"

Kurama felt his face growing warm. _This _was the time the teacher had to call him up to the front of the room? Not only would he have to turn his back to his classmates when he labeled the diagram, but his lab table was at the _back _of the room, which meant he would have to walk past _each and every one _of the other students before he even got to the easel with the diagram.

"No, sir," said Kurama, as evenly as he could manage, and everyone stared at him in disbelief. But what else was he supposed to do, walk down the aisle dripping blood?

"That was not a request, Miss Minamino." The problem with the teachers in these advanced classes was that they tended to be strict. "That was an _order_."

"I can't," Kurama insisted.

"Why not?" the teacher demanded. "It can't be that you don't know the answer. You've never once gotten anything wrong."

"It's a matter of a personal nature," Kurama told him nervously.

"You're going to have to do better than _that_."

"Look, I _really _need to go to the bathroom," said Kurama desperately, since he was starting to feel a little panicked. Now he could feel it running unpleasantly down his inner thigh, heading directly towards one of his knee-high black socks, and he crossed his legs tightly at the ankles in the hopes that nobody would see. Everyone in class was watching him intently. If they hadn't figured out what he was talking about, they probably assumed something even worse.

"Oh, all right," the teacher grouched. "But you can't afford to miss this information. Ten minutes max, or you're going to have to stay after school."

_Let's just hope Aratani comes through for me_, Kurama thought. Cringing internally, he stood up, and it was like a waterfall. Before anyone got a good look at him, though, Aratani let out a loud shriek and fell off her stool. Kurama figured that was his cue, and when everyone else was fussing over Aratani's diversion, he bolted out of the room. When he got back, he would check to see if she was all right.

Ten minutes! There was no time to call his mom and wait for her to come bring him something, and he didn't really want her causing a scene like she had when it happened to Hiei, anyway. When he got to the bathroom, he cleaned himself up and used a huge wad of toilet paper for protection, then spent another few minutes using cold water to wash his lab coat (if anyone would know how to get blood out of clothing, it would be Kurama). Since he didn't have time for his lab coat to dry, it looked rather like he'd wet himself, but that was better than the alternative, he supposed.

As soon as class was over (they hadn't had time for the dissecting, thank goodness), everyone surged out of the science lab into the hallway. Kurama hung his clean-but-wet lab coat up and headed out himself, praying his "solution" would hold up until the lunch hour, but…

"Shuichi! Hurry!" Aratani grabbed his arm and hauled him into the nearest girls' bathroom, the same one he had been in about an hour before.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"This really isn't your week, is it?" she answered sympathetically, digging in her school bag and handing him what he realized was a tampon. "Here, put this in before you go on to your next class. It's better than toilet paper."

"Oh, um, thanks," said Kurama, wondering if he should tell her that he didn't know how to use one, or just try to figure it out.

"You do know how to use one, don't you?" Aratani asked.

Kurama shrugged awkwardly. "Do you have anything else?"

"No, only the tampon," Aratani replied. "Look, let's go into a stall, and I can help you."

"That won't be necessary," Kurama said quickly. "I'm sure I can figure it out."

"You'd do better to avoid trial-and-error this time," Aratani warned. "You'll be late to class, and I only have one of those. Just go in on your own, and I'll give you directions. Okay?"

This was still much too close for comfort, especially considering he was harboring more-than-friendly feelings for her, but what choice did he have? Once Kurama got inside one of the little cubicles, he called, "Okay. Now what?"

"First, relax," Aratani said from outside the stall. "You can't put in a tampon if your muscles are tense."

"I can't?"

"Not easily," she told him. "So just try to relax. Then take off the paper and just kind of…shove it up there, the big part first."

"But where do I stand?"

"One foot up on the toilet, the other on the floor," Aratani replied. "Then, like I said, just slide it in."

"Why is this thing made of plastic?" said Kurama. "That's neither comfortable nor absorbent."

"You don't keep the plastic part inside of you," said Aratani. "Just the cotton. Anyway, did you put it in yet?"

"It only goes in so far," he told her, concerned. "Then it just stops."

"That's what it's supposed to do," she said. "Just push that part inside the part that's in you."

So he did what she said, and it was the weirdest feeling.

"Can you feel it going in?" she asked.

"Yes, I can," he answered, but once he took the plastic part out, now empty, and threw it in the trash, he found that he couldn't feel it in there at all, and that he had finally stopped bleeding. So he called, "It worked!"

Aratani squealed. "Open the door!"

Kurama got dressed again and unlocked the door; Aratani gave him a tight hug.

"Congratulations, you've become a woman today!" she cried. "You're out of diapers! You got your training wheels off! You're eating solid food! You're—"

"I get the point, Aratani," said Kurama, but he couldn't help smiling at her excitement. "I'd rather just get to class and forget this ever happened."

"Whatever you want!" Aratani linked arms with Kurama, and they left the bathroom.

…

As the day went on, Yusuke skipped gym, because he hadn't been feeling right since Sunday. But he tried a little harder to attend his other classes. Even though his uniform skirt still rode up and his legs stuck uncomfortably to the metal chair of his desk, he came to class. However, while attendance was something he could do, concentrating (much less learning anything) was another.

For one thing, Kurama had called him that morning and said his doctor's appointment was for this evening, so he was debating over whether he dared ask his questions again, or just pretend he hadn't given Kurama that list. Besides, he couldn't imagine why Kurama made the appointment, because there was nothing wrong with him, and Yusuke was pretty sure you had to "disrobe" at those types of appointments. But then the thought of Kurama's female form undressing was in his mind, and it wouldn't leave. Yusuke had never really noticed it when Kurama was a man, but the fox-demon sure did give off a lot of sex appeal as a woman.

It was Kuwabara who was having an actual problem, even though none of the other three asked what exactly it was. Hiei, especially, seemed to be against discussing it. But Yusuke was extremely thankful that nothing like that was happening to him, because that was something he didn't think he could ever talk to his mom about. She loved him, he knew, but they weren't exactly close.

Or _was _something going on with him? The problem was, when he was in a new body all of a sudden, especially one of the opposite sex, he didn't know what was normal and what wasn't. That was the most important thing he had told Kurama to ask for him when he went to the doctor.

In the middle of his thoughts, however, the teacher's voice snapped across the room.

"Miss Urameshi!" she shouted. "I'm not going to ask you to pay attention again!"

_That seems unlikely_, Yusuke thought, but he didn't say it.

"What do you need?" he asked, yawning, because he was feeling bored and also kind of tired.

"I asked you what the average annual rainfall is in Tokyo, which you should be able to tell me if you did the reading homework for Geography." The teacher put her hands on her hips. "Did you not do your homework?"

The class laughed. Yusuke went above and beyond the teachers' expectations by just showing up; did they expect him to do the homework, too?

"Can _anyone _else answer?" the teacher asked impatiently. "Miss Yukimura?"

"60.2 inches, Teacher," said Keiko promptly.

Yusuke gave her a thumbs-up, and she gave him a strict look. Oh, well. Ever since he ran into her and Botan in the lingerie store the other day, he didn't really know what to say to her in the first place. Perhaps if he ever tried, it would be something awkward like, _How are you liking your new sexy black nightie?_

Just in case the teacher yelled at him again, he kept his eyes on the easel, where the teacher had a map of Japan and was talking about its weather. B-O-R-I-N-G.


	18. Girl Talk

Hiei was quite used to being alone, so he didn't get very lonely when his best friend was at school, like others might have. Once or twice he had considered going to Kurama's school anyway as the "foreign exchange student," but that was more out of boredom than loneliness, he thought. Kurama was at school for even longer these days, because those girls had talked him into joining the cheerleading squad.

The shadows were getting long, signaling the end of the day; most demons knew how to tell time like this, since many of them (including Hiei) preferred to live in nature and not be cooped up in houses all day. Kurama would probably be home soon, if he wasn't already, so Hiei headed over to the Minamino residence.

When he climbed into Kurama's bedroom, he saw that the time was 4:30. Kurama wasn't in his room, but Hiei could hear the shower running, so that meant his friend was already home. Hiei decided to just sit on the bed and wait for Kurama to get out of the shower.

Finally, the water shut off, and in a few minutes, Kurama walked into his bedroom, with one towel around his body, the other around his hair.

"Ack! Hiei!" Kurama shouted. "What are you doing in my bedroom?!"

"Is that any way to greet your partner-in-crime after a long day at school?" Hiei demanded.

"Fine, Hiei, I'm very happy to see you," said Kurama, rolling his eyes. "Now will you leave so I can get dressed?"

Hiei got up and went to stand out in the hallway, but he stopped halfway across the room and said, "It's weird, isn't it? When you were trying on that bra on Sunday, you seemed just fine with being naked in front of us."

"Yes, but that seemed different, somehow," Kurama told him. "Maybe this whole thing hadn't really sunk in yet. And that was before I knew Yusuke was sexually attracted to my female form."

"You're sure he is, then?"

"Obviously so, but I think he feels guilty about it," said Kurama. "I guess I should tell him that you can't help who you like, but to be honest, I think it would be less awkward for both of us if I just didn't bring it up."

"About that list of questions he gave you," asked Hiei, "are you going to tell us all what the doctor said, or just Yusuke?"

"I guess it depends on what she says, but I'll probably tell you all as a group," Kurama replied. "I've got to leave soon, so it's lucky I was able to get home to take a shower." He shrugged. "I guess you can stay in the room. Just don't look, okay?"

"Whatever," said Hiei, seeing that Kurama's plants were now blocking him from view, anyway.

"Believe it or not, if this hadn't sunk in before, it sure has now," Kurama was saying.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you'll never believe what happened to me at school today."

"Oh! Do tell." Hiei grinned and sat up.

"So you like to hear the gossip, do you, Hiei?" said Kurama. Now that he was wearing underwear, he let his plants go back to their normal flowering states. "At first it was just a lot of drama with Aratani being upset about breaking up with Yu Kaito, and Chizuko saying 'all men are assholes,' but around Biology class, well…Let's just say you're not really alone in your specific troubles anymore."

"You mean…?"

"Yes. Never let it be said that I don't appreciate women and what they go through monthly," said Kurama.

"I'll put that one down in the books," Hiei told him, falling back onto the bedspread contentedly; this was actually quite gratifying. "Now, tell me the horror story."

"It actually isn't that bad," said Kurama. "The only downside was that I got way too close with Aratani Fujisaki than I ever wanted."

"I thought you liked her," said Hiei.

"I'd like to take her out to dinner and possibly become her boyfriend," Kurama clarified. "I don't need to be in a bathroom stall trying to insert a foreign object into my body while she coaches me on the other side of the door."

"Huh?" said Hiei. _Foreign object?_

Kurama must have seen Hiei's confusion, because he laughed a little and said, "Aratani gave me something that's sort of like a plug. It's a very favorable alternative to wearing a diaper all day."

"What?!" Hiei sat up again furiously. "If I had known that earlier—"

"Then that cream-colored couch probably would have survived," Kurama finished. "I know. Feel free to try one, by the way. I bought a huge box of them on the way home, which is why I'm running a little late."

"How do they work?" Hiei asked apprehensively.

"Well, Hiei, I'll show you." Kurama opened up the box and took out a long, wrapped object, about the size of a finger. "You just take off the wrapping, like this, then press the smaller part into the bigger part. Then you take the plastic out, and the tampon's inside you. Just like that."

"Do they hurt?"

"No, definitely not." Kurama smiled. "You can't feel them in you at all. I can help you, if you want. It would be no trouble."

"I-I'll just stick with the diapers," said Hiei, face flushing. "Mine's almost over with, anyway. If...if that's what it means when it's...I mean, when the diaper's not as full when you go to change it."

"Yes, I believe so," said Kurama. "Anyway, if you change your mind next month, you know where to find me."

"Who says we're still going to be like this next month?"

"Nobody. I'm just saying."

Hiei shrugged, then looked over at Kurama. "Having problems?"

"I-I just can't fit into my new jeans," Kurama said, and sure enough, he was trying to fit into the pair he'd bought at the mall last Monday. "I don't get it! These fit right only two days ago!"

"Maybe you really are getting fat," Hiei commented.

"Thank you, Hiei, for being such a supportive friend," Kurama said sarcastically.

"Well, what am I supposed to do, lie?" said Hiei. "Look, just wear your sweatpants."

"I'm not wearing those in public," said Kurama. "They're called 'sweatpants' for a reason, you know."

"If you keep trying to squeeze your butt into those _obviously _too-tight jeans, you'll be late," Hiei told him. "You haven't even combed your hair yet."

"Oh…all right," said Kurama reluctantly, pulling on the sweatpants and slipping his green fox sweatshirt over his head. Then he combed his hair in front of his full-length mirror, frowning at his reflection. "I look awful. My skin is bad, my hair is soaking wet, and all I can fit into are my ugly sweatpants."

"Well, you're just going to the doctor." Hiei shrugged. "It's probably easier because you have to take them off and put them on _again_. Besides, I think you look good anytime."

"Aw, you do?" said Kurama. "Even if I'm fat?"

"Sure, but you're not really _that _fat."

"Well, thanks a lot."

"You know, I can go with you to the doctor, if you want," Hiei suggested. "I mean, I wouldn't go in the room or anything. I could just be your companion. You know, for moral support."

"Really?" Kurama looked over at Hiei in surprise.

"I've got nothing better to do at the moment, so I'll go if you want."

…

Overall, it went like a normal doctor's appointment. The exam part could have been worse, but it was still a relief to get dressed again.

"Everything looks good here, Miss Minamino," Dr. Wheeler said brightly. "You're a perfectly healthy and normal fifteen-year-old—oops, almost sixteen."

"Healthy? Yes. Normal? Not so much," said Kurama, smiling because she didn't know just how true that was.

"There's nothing to worry about, I mean," the doctor replied, smiling back. "It was smart of you to go in for a checkup. Do you have any questions to ask me?"

"Um, yes, I actually have a whole list," said Kurama, taking it out of his pocket and handing it to her. "Those are all for a friend, though."

Dr. Wheeler scanned the list, her brow furrowing a little. When she was done, she said, "Well, it looks like you've already got the answer for a lot of the questions on this list."

"Really? I have?"

"Well, this lengthy list of symptoms you've described all signal an upcoming period, and you got yours today."

"I told you, those were for a friend, not me," Kurama told her. "And it's a friend who's not going to like it, either. Oh, my gosh."

"You should probably tell her, as a friend," said the doctor. "That way she can be prepared."

"Oh, boy." Kurama took a deep breath. _"That _sure won't be easy."

"Hmm." Dr. Wheeler continued with the list. "This next one…"

Kurama hadn't actually read the list, so he said, "Yes?"

"The one about sexual attraction."

_Dammit, Yusuke! _

"What about it?" Kurama asked, as calmly as he could manage.

"It's common to worry when you get new feelings like that," said Dr. Wheeler. "But you can tell her that those kinds of feelings are normal, too—if she's not feeling any discomfort, I don't think there's any need for concern. And, of course, some masturbation is fine and healthy."

_Woah!_ Kurama suddenly felt his whole body flare up like it had been lit on fire. Girls did it, too?

"There are some things even we don't discuss with one another," he said helplessly. "And besides, I'm not really sure how a girl would even do it…"

Why had he just said that? _Why?_

"Well, there are some adult toys you can get, but generally, I believe the best way is to just—"

"No! That's enough! _Please!"_ Kurama shook his head, like that would get rid of the sheer mortification that this conversation had brought upon him. "I-I don't need to hear this right now."

"It's really nothing to be ashamed of," said the doctor, frowning.

"I know, but…I haven't had urges to do anything like that." It was the truth, actually. Ever since the switch, he had touched the area as little as possible. Considering how badly he wanted his _real_ body back, any "experimentation" right now would probably just make him feel worse, and he was sure that the same went for all his friends.

Dr. Wheeler still didn't look satisfied, but she could see Kurama wasn't interested in talking about it, so she dropped the subject.

"Now, this last question is one that a lot of teenagers have," she said, beginning to smile again. "Your friend here just wants to know why she seems to be behind all her friends when it comes to growing up."

"Oh, we already talked about that," said Kurama. "I _said _it was pointless to compare."

"And you were quite right, Miss Minamino." Dr. Wheeler nodded. "But that's not very easy advice to follow when you're the one whose body isn't changing at the pace you want it to, be that too fast or too slow."

"The word she kept using was 'in-between,'" Kurama recalled, remembering at the last minute to swap the pronouns (it didn't feel any less weird today than it had on Sunday). "Stuck in between childhood and adulthood, I suppose."

"It's not easy, but maybe she'll listen to a doctor," said Dr. Wheeler. "Just tell her from me that there's no 'right' time for any of these things. It happens when it's supposed to happen, because the right time refers to your friend as an individual, not the people around her, and for heaven's sake, not her classmates."

"Okay," Kurama said warmly. "I'm sure that will help."

"What I'd like to know is, why didn't your friend ask her own doctor, or _any_ adult woman she trusts?" Dr. Wheeler asked. "I mean, why did she feel she had to have you ask for her?"

"Oh, you know how it is, when they're younger," said Kurama with a shrug. "I think it was just embarrassment."

"That's not a good attitude to have." Now, the doctor's voice was serious. "If something is ever wrong, she needs a medical opinion. Besides, even if everything is just fine, she still shouldn't have to feel any shame or embarrassment, and _especially _not confusion or worry."

"I'll tell her that, too," said Kurama.

"Now that your friend's questions have been answered," said Dr. Wheeler, "do _you _have anything you want to ask me?"

"I guess…why couldn't I see my _own _girl problems coming?" Kurama asked. "I mean, it happened to one of my friends, and now to me, and soon it's going to happen to another, as you say…But none of us are really experiencing the same side effects. My other friend seems to have had it a lot worse than I do right now."

"Periods are different for everyone," said the doctor. "No two girls are completely alike, so no two cycles should be alike, either. In fact, some girls don't experience any PMS."

"Maybe that's just as bad. You don't see it coming at all."

"Well, like I said, tell your friend what I said, and make sure she keeps protection in her purse or school bag so she won't be caught off guard like you were."

"I've got it," said Kurama. "Thank you so much, Dr. Wheeler."

After that, the appointment was over. Kurama went back out in the hallway and found Hiei sitting there in the waiting room, reading a magazine.

"So, how did it go?" Hiei asked.

"I've got a clean bill of health," Kurama told him. "So does Yusuke, apparently."

"Good for you," said Hiei. "Come on, let's get something to eat and then we can go home."

The two of them walked to a sushi restaurant near their bus stop, and then they caught the bus home. Kurama told Hiei everything that happened and every single word the doctor said, _except _her grim prediction about Yusuke's various ailments. Kurama decided he wouldn't share that unless Yusuke said it was okay.

"I'm _never_ going to a place where they make me undress and put my feet in stirrups," Hiei declared. "Especially not when I'm _bleeding_, for crying out sounds just too awful for words."

"Well, maybe there were things I'd rather be doing, but at least I know I don't have an infection or something like that," said Kurama. "And about the sweatpants—good call."

"I knew you wouldn't want to struggle in and out of your jeans twice," Hiei replied.

…

"Would you stop worrying?" Kuwabara was saying. "You'll be okay."

"I'm _not _worrying, and how would you know?" Yusuke snapped. "You're the one who has something wrong with you, remember."

"Just this unbearable sort of itchiness, though. I—"

"For the love of God, shut _up!" _Yusuke shouted. "Why do you think I need to hear about that?"

Needless to say, he didn't listen for an answer. They had been here a long time, waiting for Kurama to finish his cheerleading practice and then to get home from the doctor. Unsurprisingly, when the fox-demon finally showed up, he had Hiei tagging along.

_I swear_, _they're like Siamese twins or something_, Yusuke thought as he headed for the door.

"Hi, Yusuke!" Kurama chimed. "How was your day at school?"

"Fine," Yusuke told him nervously. Kurama seemed overly cheery, which couldn't possibly be a good sign.

"Wonderful," said Kurama, stepping over the threshold with Hiei right behind him. Hiei went to sit down on the couch, where the cushion had been flipped over (they hadn't managed to get the stain out), while Kurama set one delicate, long-fingered hand on Yusuke's shoulder. "May I have a word, Yusuke?"

"Um, sure." What choice was there, anyway? They walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"I went over your list at the doctor's office," Kurama began, as soon as Yusuke had settled himself in the chair. "The good news is, you've got a clean bill of health, just as I have."

"Then what's the bad news?"

"Well, it's not bad news, per se," said Kurama. "It's just…how can I put it? Unexpected, maybe."

"What _is _it?" asked Yusuke. "Just tell me!"

"Okay. Like I said, I talked with the doctor about all those symptoms you listed…" Kurama took in a deep breath. "Well, you know how when you're about to get a cold, sometimes your throat hurts? Like a warning sign?"

"Yeah," said Yusuke. "What does that have to do with it?"

"Well, there are warning signs for other things, too."

"Like…?"

Kurama let out his breath and said, "Like a period. That's what the doctor says you're going to get in a few days."

"_What?!" _Yusuke shouted, jumping up so quickly that he knocked his chair over. "Y-You mean, like what happened to Hiei?"

"That's right," Kurama said calmly, but he was avoiding eye contact.

"I can't have that!" Yusuke felt himself beginning to panic. "What am I going to do?"

"Be prepared," Kurama advised, standing up. "You just have to pack something in your school bag, so if it happens at school, you'll be able to take care of it quickly."

"It can happen at _school?!"_

"I'm sure it can happen anywhere."

"This is SO FUCKING STUPID!" Yusuke shouted at the top of his lungs, then collapsed into his chair again, his face in his hands.

"What's going on in here?" Kuwabara demanded, charging into the kitchen with Hiei right behind him. "Are you okay, Urameshi? What did you tell him, Kurama?"

"I thought you said nothing was wrong with him," said Hiei.

"Nothing is," said Kurama. "But he's a little overwhelmed."

"Make that two of us!" said Kuwabara.

"Three," said Hiei.

"Four," said Kurama.

"Five," said Yusuke, and dropped his head down onto the table.

"You can't be number one _and _number five," Kuwabara argued. "Can't you count?"

"I'm two numbers because I'm the most overwhelmed out of everyone," Yusuke told him.

"I wouldn't say that," said Hiei. "I think I had it exponentially worse than you do, and for an obvious reason."

"That's the same problem _I'm _having, okay?!" Yusuke blurted out.

"Oh." Hiei looked surprised. "Right _now?"_

"No, but the doctor said it will happen to him in a few days," Kurama said to the room at large. "I don't know, Yusuke. Should I not have told you?"

"It's probably better that you did." Yusuke sighed. "But so far, Hiei is still the only one of us who actually had to experience it."

"Well, not exactly," said Kurama.

Yusuke looked up. "What? You, too?"

Kurama nodded, but Kuwabara said, "Well, that stinks! I'm left out, then."

"What is this, an eighties teen drama?" Yusuke said back. "When it comes to these things, I'm pretty sure you _want _to be left out."

"I don't get those movies," said Kuwabara. "I know they're supposed to make you laugh…but somehow they always make me cry. Especially when they have kittens in them."

"Is something wrong with you?" said Yusuke, but at least he was laughing again.

"It's okay," said Kurama, gripping Hiei's waist. "The one we watched last night made Hiei cry, too. I have the tearstones to prove it."

"You cried way more than I did!" Hiei protested.

"Well, girls are allowed to cry, so it's not so bad," Kurama pointed out. "Anyway, let's go out into the living room. You'll never believe what Dr. Wheeler had to say…"


	19. Bonding

Yusuke probably should have been relieved after Kurama told everyone what the doctor said, and that apparently he had a "clean bill of health"; therefore, nothing to worry about. But to be honest, things in Girl World were just getting way too complicated for him. Now, perhaps he didn't have to worry that he was getting sick anymore, but he did have to constantly wonder if today would be "the day" and it would happen in class, like it had to Kurama.

_Well_, _maybe I just won't go to class_, he thought. But then, plenty of girls went to class every day of the month. For example, as far as Yusuke knew, Keiko had never missed a day of school. So maybe the only solution would be to be "prepared," like Kurama said.

"Hey, Mom?" said Yusuke nervously as he stepped into the apartment.

"Yes?" called Atsuko from the kitchen. She was surprisingly sober, and microwaving what smelled like ramen.

"I, um…" Was this embarrassing, or what? "I have to tell you, uh…something. Or ask you something. I mean—"

"What did you do this time?"

"I think it's _that_ time of the month," Yusuke blurted out.

"Go and get something on, then," Atsuko said apathetically. "I have some painkillers if you're having cramps. Dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

That was it? This was her big mom-reaction? She was acting as if he had just made a casual remark about the weather!

"I mean, I don't _actually _have it yet," Yusuke clarified. "I'm just having symptoms. But it'll most likely be this week, I think."

"Oh," she said. "Then why are you telling me?"

"Well, I don't know, actually. Never mind." Yusuke sat down at the table. "What are we having for dinner? Ramen noodles again?"

"What? Do you not like ramen now?"

"I do like it," said Yusuke, but that wasn't what was on his mind. He realized he had no clue what Kurama meant when he said to "be prepared." Why hadn't he asked? What could be worse than waiting for something you didn't know anything about? This was actually a little scary, not just an inconvenience.

Of course, he didn't have to do anything yet, because he was just having symptoms for now. But he remembered what Kurama said: _Pack something in your school bag_. But what was "something"? An extra uniform skirt? Cleaning supplies? Diapers, maybe?

Yusuke was a little too embarrassed to ask, because the way she spoke so casually, it was as if he ought to know everything already. He was half-hoping his mom would just be straight with him and take him through this step-by-step, but knowing her, she would probably get annoyed if he kept thinking that way. Why couldn't his mom be more like Kurama's mom, who was always so helpful and nice? Or like Shizuru, who wasn't exactly what you would call "nice," but who had certainly been helpful over the past few days? Why couldn't she just—

"You know, I remember when I was around your age," Atsuko said, taking the ramen out of the microwave and pouring it into two bowls.

"So?"

"So, I was pregnant when I was your age—well, a little older, actually, about Shuichi's age."

"What?" Yusuke's eyebrows raised. He knew she got pregnant as a teenager, but sixteen? That was really young.

"Some women really like being pregnant, and they do it on purpose," Atsuko was saying as she set a bowl of ramen in front of Yusuke at the table, then another one for her. "Not me. I didn't even know how my own body worked. Your father left me—of course he did, he was just a child, like I was. You were all I had.

"There was nobody to watch out for me, make sure I wasn't getting into trouble," she continued. "I wanted to make things easier on you growing up than they were for me. I guess I didn't do a very good job."

Yusuke remembered how his mother had cried when everyone thought he was dead, and all of a sudden he felt really guilty.

"You do just fine," Yusuke mumbled.

"That's one lesson you should definitely remember: Never have sex with a man unprotected," said Atsuko.

"No chance of that happening," said Yusuke.

"Taking care of a child is hard, but I would say the trade-off is worth it," Atsuko said, getting out of her seat to stand by Yusuke, running her fingers through his hair absentmindedly. "But the point is, now that you're growing up and everything, I want you to know you can always come to me. I want…I want to be for you what nobody ever was for me, starting now."

Hmm. Maybe this meant more to her than he had previously thought.

"Thanks, Mom," said Yusuke quietly, and paused for a minute. "In that case…I'll definitely need some help."

"All you ever have to do is ask, honey," Atsuko replied, bending down to give Yusuke a hug, and he hugged back, smiling slightly. Maybe, just maybe, some things had changed for the better.

…

That next morning, Kurama headed off to school again. Since he was growing ever sicker of all the attention he got in the streets (and he was starting to feel it was a little dangerous), he took the train that day. Over his school uniform he put on his favorite green fox sweatshirt, a baggy old maternity sweatshirt of his mom's, and a big winter coat he'd borrowed from his stepfather. Finally, he pinned his hair up with a comb so he could hide it in the hood of the jacket, donned a pair of his mother's sunglasses, and left the house in disguise. As a result of all this, he was seriously overheated, and he knew he must have looked ridiculous. But nobody looked twice at him, and that was just the way he wanted it.

When he got to school, he shoved the extra layers into his locker, let down his hair, and carefully stowed the sunglasses in a pocket of his book bag so they wouldn't get hurt. Then he went to sit down in class. Since he had taken the train, he was a little early, but he was startled when Yu Kaito stomped into the classroom, threw his books on his desk, and plopped himself down into his seat.

"Kaito," said Kurama, a little apprehensively. "You're back."

"Is she happy now, Shuichi?" Kaito demanded. Behind his glasses, Kurama could see that his eyes were red and puffy, like he'd been crying. "Is she pleased with herself, now that she's broken my heart?"

"What are you talking about?" Kurama asked.

"Aratani!" Kaito was obviously trying to sound angry, when really he was terribly hurt. "Didn't she tell you about how she left me?"

"Yeah, but she didn't seem happy about it at all," Kurama told him. "She was sad that she hurt you."

"Well, then why hurt me? Why not just stay together?"

"Because I think it would hurt you all the more if she stayed with you and didn't love you, Kaito," Kurama said seriously. "Don't you think it was better that she was honest?"

"I don't know," said Kaito. "But I just don't know what I did wrong, Shuichi. I tried to be the perfect boyfriend."

"Kaito, you're never going to get over her until you realize it's nothing that _you _did wrong," Kurama said patiently. "You two just aren't meant to be. The situation can be absolutely perfect, and the couple can have 100% compatibility, but if there's no _spark_—well, then all the rest means nothing. Just because someone is your ideal partner doesn't mean you two are going to love each other." Kurama smiled slightly. "Love is weird that way."

"But I _do _love her," Kaito said sadly. "She just doesn't love me."

"And someday, Yu Kaito, you _will _find someone who loves you just as much as you love her," said Kurama. "Why not try Chizuko? She likes to write, like you."

"Shuichi, she writes a gossip column," said Kaito. "Do you really think I would sink that low?"

"Chizuko _used _to write a gossip column," Kurama corrected him. "She's trying to become a better person now, and in order to do so, she swore to stop libeling people."

"Hn," said Kaito, sounding an awful lot like Hiei. Kurama could tell Chizuko didn't really appeal to him, and to be honest, he probably wouldn't appeal to Chizuko too much, either. And because Chizuko was Aratani's best friend, Chizuko going out with Aratani's ex-boyfriend probably violated some Girl Code law or another.

Aratani entered the room next, and Kurama knew she saw Kaito. Her face fell, her brown eyes staring down at the floor. Kaito saw her, too.

"Where did I go wrong?" Yu Kaito cried to nobody in particular, looking like he was going to bawl. Aratani obviously heard, because she actually did burst into tears, and ran from the room. _Oh_, _for crying out loud! _Quite uncharacteristically, Kurama found he couldn't keep his temper anymore.

"Listen, Kaito, I've already had to deal with a lot of bullshit this week, and I don't need yours, too," Kurama said sharply, getting to his feet and pushing his chair in with a bang. "Now do us all a big fat favor and stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself!"

Leaving Kaito's jaw on the floor, Kurama stormed out of the classroom, heading not for Aratani, but for the courtyard, because he just needed some time for himself. For a little while he just sat there, taking deep breaths to calm down. Now he kind of knew how Hiei felt. First he would overreact, then he would feel guilty about it. But then he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Shuichi?"

It was Yu Kaito. Kurama nodded, and the bespectacled book snob sat down next to him.

"What do you want?" Kurama mumbled, but not in a mean way; more like just a very, very tired way.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry if I said anything to upset you," Kaito said quietly. "Vary rarely do I hear such immoderate language escape your lips."

"Oh, it's not you, Kaito, it's everything." Kurama put his face in his hands. "I want all my friends to get their heads on straight, I want to win that stupid competition this Saturday, I want men to stop treating me like a sex object, I want my skin to clear up and my fat to go away, and most of all…" Kurama was a little embarrassed to hear his high-pitched, wavery voice. "I just want some potato chips."

"Oh, Shuichi, you're not fat," said Kaito. "Your beauty is simply resplendent."

Kurama sniffed and wiped his nose with his hand. "Try telling that to my new jeans."

"Even if you were fat, which you're _not_, since when do you get upset about that kind of thing?" Kaito asked. "In my experience, you take most things in stride."

"Well, it all gets to be too much sometimes," said Kurama.

"I can make it just a little better," said Kaito. "At lunch, I'll buy you the biggest bag of chips I can get my hands on. No need to pay me back."

"Oh, no, Kaito, you don't need to—"

"No need to thank me, the pleasure's all mine." Kaito stood up and held out his hand. "Let me help you up. You don't want to be late for class."

…

Yusuke's teachers were impressed that he was actually attending class, and Keiko was obviously pleased. But all Yusuke could think of was the horrific next few days that were in store for him. How would he even know it had happened? There was the option of asking, but he was kind of afraid of the answer. At least his mom put a pad in his school bag for him, and once she was gone he had jammed a few extra dozen in there just in case, but who knew if it would be enough?

Around lunchtime, Kuwabara came to eat with him.

"Hey, Urameshi?" he said. "Can you do me a big favor? It's really important."

"Shoot."

"Well, I was wondering if you could possibly come with me to the doctor today."

"Wasn't Shizuru supposed to take you?"

"Yeah, but she got food poisoning," said Kuwabara. "I need a friend to go with me because I'm really nervous, especially after what Kurama told us yesterday."

"You mean, the part about getting naked and putting your feet in stirrups?" said Yusuke. "Not to be a bad friend or anything, but I don't really want to be in the room during that part."

"I didn't say you had to go in the room," said Kuwabara. "Just take the bus to the medical building with me and sit in the waiting room."

"Can't you get Kurama to do it?" asked Yusuke, knowing it was pointless to even suggest Hiei.

"Kurama has cheerleading practice," Kuwabara reminded him. "Besides, you're my _best_-best friend."

"I don't know what your game is, but if you're trying to guilt-trip me, it isn't working," Yusuke told him.

"I'm not," said Kuwabara, and he looked truthful. "I just really need someone to go with me, and I thought you would be the best."

"Oh…fine," said Yusuke. "I'll go with you, but don't expect me to be any help."

"Thanks, buddy," said Kuwabara gratefully, and they finished their lunch.


End file.
